Big Boobs, Low Self-Esteem

Alright, so I'm going to do my best to make this a quick one, seeing as how there was just too much to talk about, but at the same time, much of it would be tangential non-game-related stuff [like how a cute girl with big tits can have low self-esteem..ugh!].


Basically, I had a dinner planned with this 1 chick, we'll call her HBLowSelfEsteem: hot, tall [maybe 6'-ish?], nice body, huge boobies..awesome! We texted back and forth to set things up, and it was a perfect example of taking charge and telling her what we're doing [so as not to come off supplicating] but at the same time, leaving enough of her input [so as not to be too controlling, either]. I end it with telling her to meet me at my place [a la DYD], but I couldn't even get her to come to my place, because she waited at the bus stop and didn't bother to come down to the actual residential area..lazy bitch! I think she was feeling nervous already..


We walk over to the restaurant/bar with cool conversation, and the waitress who seats us I can tell is already giving us [and especially me, of course haa] the eye, and our interaction goes cool: I show my social command by having a good time with the waitress, joking and whatnot, and then also with the HBLSE herself, who's loving it.


It was a bit awkward at first, at least from my side, because I was worrying a little too much about making sure to have stuff to talk about so things don't get too weirdly quiet, but then I snapped out of it, realized I'm awesome and have plenty to talk about, and actually embraced the quiet moments, to let my awesomeness sink in to her as well as to take any awkwardness that may be associated with the quietness and have it be directed towards her, i.e. it's her fault for not having anything to say.


I find that this is best done by making sure that you are the last one to have something insightful or deep [basically, long vs. a one-word response] to say, so that in essence you are the one leading the conversation, even if it was on a topic she brought up, and you end up being the one conversing..thus, any awkwardness from the quiet moment is because she didn't have anything to say, either adding to the conversational thread or starting a new one.


I think this is important, especially in those cases where guys feel this need to make sure to keep talking, don't let it get quiet, etc; it's okay if things slow down or even stop every now and then, just don't leave them that way for long! However, you can use those moments to your advantage, like I said, by allowing your awesomeness to sink in to her [while she's taking in the moment, being with you] and by directing any awkwardness of the moment onto her [to be her fault, so she works harder to prevent it, so that she doesn't come off as the weird conversational-killing person with nothing to talk about]. Keep in mind, though, that this can only be accomplished after substantial Attraction has been created in her; otherwise, it will be automatic for her to associate any weirdness with you, and the whole thing will backfire on you.


Back to me and HBLSE..


So I run a couple things on her, but mostly we're just vibing, doing our thing. She's laughing, having a good time..I know that she's definitely much more relaxed by now than she was at first; a huge part [if not all] of her nervousness has to do with her low self-esteem [shocker, I know] but also with the stigma down here with dating and relationships, because it's not as clear-cut a type of thing as it in the US. What I mean is, back in the States, it's not a big deal to be out or doing something with someone, one-on-one, etc, whereas here, for a number of people, it's like being outside of your comfort-zone, mainly because the whole "dating" thing or even just being out or doing stuff with someone in a one-on-one situation, especially being in a non-public area [such as the mall or campus] tends to become a formal-like ordeal, and it can be a major thing [depending on the person's view], especially when you've got someone like HBLSE, who's esteem's not the best, and she will thus take a situation like this to be much bigger [wanting to make a great impression, etc], which will also cause it to become more formal [best behavior, etc], which will kick in the super-date feelings [ASD, etc]..but I'd managed to disarm this whole process for the most part, and like I said, we were just vibing, and things were good.


After eating, I jumped over to the other side to chit-chat with her some more, using a routine as part of the reason - I ran Cube on her, thus getting in a major jump in Comfort within the time of running the routine. As usual, it was "soo right!!" and accurate that she was all about it and all over me. The problem that I was starting to pick up on already, and then she confessed to at this point, was that she's not a very touchy-feely person..so much for kino, right?


Wrong.


I continued my kino-escalation throughout this time, just making to sure to either slow it down, or use it in a more push-pull manner, or even a 2-steps-forward-1-step-back kind of way, to continue getting things going in the right direction, even using her anti-kino feelings against her to make her feel awkward about the fact [I gave her some shit for being "weird" and how even that thinking was "really..strange.."], and I could tell it was really starting to get to her. Unfortunatley, I also knew that at the end of all this, nothing was really going to come of all of it - she'd already had plans to meet up with her cousin on campus, thus leaving me with no real way of trying to extract the pull.


Oh, well..her loss.


Earlier, we'd played this question-like game, in which I was trying to guess something that she was really self-conscious about with herself, and to get her to finally agree [I almost literally had to forcibly drag her ass into doing this], I told her the same would apply to me - that she'd have to guess something major that had happened to me this past summer which is a pretty potentially-embarrassing thing to have to deal with [not so much, but I had to play it up for her to agree! haa]. So, that definitely also added some major Comfort with us, too, and left up some intrigue [she never guessed what my thing was].

By the end of the night, I knew that she wanted to be able to chill more, but she'd screwed our time together up by having setup this time with her cousin, who'd begun calling her, and at first, HBLSE ignored her, too..then, as we were heading out towards the nearest bus stop, she finally answered her cousin's call.

And when the bus finally arrived, I could tell HBLSE wanted at least a hug, if not more..and so I decided to flip the script on her, using her own shit from before about not being touchy-feely, and told her "too bad you don't like to be touched..no hugs or anything for you!", and she knew I had her - nothing to say about that, because this was based on her own words from before..and this now leaves her feeling really awkward [which I pointed out to her, too, so she knows that I felt it], and she created it, because of her not wanting to touch too much..and now she's going to want to make it up to me [this has already started to take effect, with her texting me a few times already tonight].

At this point, I'm not sure what I want to do from here, seeing as how she's got her self-esteem issues, and she doesn't [or at least, didn't] like kino too much [which I've noticed is true with her interactions with everyone, not just me..that would suck haa], it just seems like it would be too much effort required to make things happen with her. Although, it was a good time to really work the bitch shield, especially in terms of kino, as well as a good practice session of running routines and ad-libbing stuff on the fly..we'll see what I decide to do with this..

~h