Game-plan on How to Pick Up Chicks on Halloween

One of the BEST pick-up holidays of the year is right around the corner.

Face it - if you were going to go out and meet a chick, Halloween is the time to do so.

Why? Because - Halloween makes women more exhibitionist!

There's something so much more freeing about dressing up and pretending to be someone you aren't.

This means that on Halloween night, women will tend to be more out-going, more flirtatious,and much more FRISKY than they normally would be!

Not only that - but Halloween is a time for parties!

This means "easy pickings" for all you Pick-Up Artists out there.

So here are some tips for a fun, successful Halloween night:

1. Plan ahead!

Halloween usually means lots of special events and parties. Try and get a line on as many Halloween parties and gatherings as you can.

Ask your friends, check your local paper, and write down every event which sounds good to you. Plan on hitting all of them if you can. If you find a good event, you can stay there, but it's always nice to have alternatives!

2. Have a great costume!

Halloween is the one day out of the year where guys can get away with MURDER.

The best costumes for getting chicks on Halloweenare usually sexual in nature.

Last year, I wore a lab coat with the letters "Breast Inspector" on it, and had a stethoscope around my neck.

All night long, I had women coming up to me asking to have their breasts inspected! That is the power of having a great costume!

3. Take advantage of the night!

Don't just settle for a phone number on Halloween. This is a night to push for the FULL MONTEY.

After Halloween is over, the "magic" will wear off and the women you meet won't be as out-going. You want to strike while the iron is HOT!

So push hard for getting physical with any girl you meet on Halloween. Trust me - it WILL work!

~h

How to Get the Girl You Like, to Notice You

Have you ever liked a girl, but she never knew you existed?

Tell me if this sounds familiar:

You see an absolutely drop-dead gorgeous girl you are instantly attracted to..



You keep your distance, admiring her from afar, imagining all the wonderful times the two of you could have together..

In the blink of an eye, it's as though you and her have lived a life-time together, and you're convinced "she's the one"..

But for some reason, no matter how much you send out your "vibe", she doesn't seem to notice you!

And whenever you talk to her (should you work up the courage to do so), you can't tell if she's feeling the same way about you that you are about her..

You WANT to ask her out, you WANT her to like you..

But you just don't know how.

Welcome to hell, my friend - the hell of not being noticed by the girl of your dreams.

Don't fear, we've all been there before. The trick here to find romantic success is actually very simple..

See, most guys in this situation will do one of two things:

1. They'll sit around and wait for the girl to ask them out - or show some sign that she feels the same way as they do.

2. They'll jump the gun and ask her out before they establish any type of connection with her.

Either way, these plans of action NEVER work.

Girls WILL NOT ask you out. They're just not used to it. The burden is on the guy to take the initiative.

Also, girls WILL NOT usually accept your offer to go out on a date, if you haven't tried to generate attraction, interest, or rapport with her before-hand.

Understand: just because you feel an emotion, and you have already convinced yourself that you're meant for this girl, DOES NOT mean she has experienced those same emotions..

Your job, as a man, is to help the girl of your desires to feel those emotions!

Otherwise, you won't succeed in getting her to notice you, let alone GO OUT with you.

If you really want to get success with girls, and get them to notice you, here's the basics of what you have to do:

1. Approach the girl, the RIGHT way: The first step in getting any girl to notice you is to meet them. You actually have to WALK UP to the girl, look her in the eyes, and engage her in a conversation. And, you have to do so in a way that is not annoying, imposing, or needy!

2. Create feelings of connection: This is what some might call that "click" or "chemistry". Creating feelings of connection are all about fostering feelings of trust and comfort with women. Too often, guys make the mistake of being a "gender neutral" friend. But creating connections is about finding similarities between you and the girl, so the two of you feel some sort of a conncetion or a bond.

3. Create feelings of sexual tension: This is also known as "flirting". Most guys don't bother to do this, and because of that, they get stuck as "just friends". You HAVE to know how to flirt with the girl, if you want her to start seeing you as a possible romantic interest.

You have to know how to stir within her those feelings of desire and attraction!

Otherwise, you're just another one of those "nice guys" she knows in her life.

If you can do all three of these things, you can get any girl you like, to notice you..so go out there, and Get the Girl!

~h

Flirting: Some Quick Tips on How to Flirt with Women

It's been a while, yes, yes, I know..and I've got to admit: I've missed my blog.

A LOT has been going on, especially with school and pick-up: exams were good, and I've been making headway with a number of girls despite my crazy-busy schedule [a bunch of #closes, some solid seeds growing, etc].

The problem: no..fuckin..time!

It's costing me girls I've been slowly setting up, despite the rough school schedule, AND it cost me joining Mehow's crew as a coach for the entire Central America/Caribbean/South America region..more on that another time..for now, let's just leave it at "fuuuuuuuuck!!"

HBAmazonian is quickly becoming my one-itis, though..and I can't figure her out - physically, all the signs are there, and yet verbally, she's playing me..and pretty damn well, too! I got her number, but not after some awkward game-play and situation barriers..and I'm even more confused now than I was before..more on that another time, too.

Anyways, all that aside, on to what I wanted to talk about - flirting.

Ever notice someone that you would like to get to know better? Ever look over and see
someone looking back at you? Are you afraid of letting someone know how you feel because
you are afraid they might not be interested? Well you’re not alone. Nearly all of us at some point
in our lives have felt this way. If you really want to get that person’s attention, and find out if they could be interested in you, then learn to flirt.

Flirting is a great way to seek out the information that you want. It also does not have to be very
emotional - but emotional levels definitely make things easier. If the other person doesn’t respond then you can move on to someone or something else. Knowing how to flirt effectively is the key to getting them interested and keeping them that way. Let's look at ways people do flirt and offer some tips on how to do it effectively.

First off, keep in mind that although flirting is relatively harmless, you are playing with another’s emotions. Flirting with someone your not interested in just isn’t nice..but it's good practice! :-p

The next thing is not to worry about what you say as much as how you look and what you are doing. When someone sees you, they give slightly over half of their attention to how you look. Make sure you look nice and are dressed for the occasion. You just want to be noticed, not to shock people.

The next item of importance is your body language. About one third of their attention will go to
this. Watch what you do. Make sure you not doing anything embarrassing with your hands or
moving about to much. Stand up straight, don’t slouch and look confident.

Finally, a small part of flirting does go to what is said. Try to stay calm. If you are naturally funny or charming, then use this to your advantage; if not, then the less said, the better - just try to engage in a friendly conversation, or "banter".

To find out if that special someone is interested in you, try flirting. By flirting, you will draw
attention and hopefully attract the one that you want. By paying attention to how you look, what you do and what you say [to a degree], you could be well on your way to finding that special someone.

Keep in mind that flirting should be fun, not torture. However, everyday, millions of us let opportunities go by due to a fear of flirting.

A fear of flirting is quite common, even among the most confident of people. There are those that can run multi-national corporations, get up in front of thousands of people and talk, but when it comes to flirting with a possible love interest, that confidence goes completely out the window.

This fear of flirting comes from the fear of crashing and burning. If one attempts to flirt and
bombs badly, this is a total self-confidence killer. It doesn’t matter what type of high-powered
person you are, getting the shove from a possible love interest shatters your self-image.

To get past this, try ignoring that little voice in your head. Think of all your successes and simply go for it.

The fear of flirting can also stem from lack of experience. Some people don’t know how to flirt, or they flirt very badly. Again, this can lead to potentially crashing and killing your self confidence.

To get over this, try practicing with/on a friend. They can tell you if you’re likely to succeed or make a complete fool out of yourself..but then again, keep in mind that women's adive can many times be wayyyyyyyy off what they actually want [topic for another time, but basically, women have an idea or concept of the things that they want, but they actually are hard-wired to respond to completely different things].

The fear of flirting can also come from not knowing the appropriate time or occasion. Many are
reluctant to approach women in bars or night clubs because of their connotations. Flirting at
work can also present problems.

Keep in mind that there really isn’t a right or wrong place to flirt. Just be aware of where you are and make sure your technique is good.

Finally, some fear flirting because of what it could bring. They fear approaching a person,
successfully chatting, and then finding out that they are horrible. What to do in those occasions
sends people into a panic. If you do start to flirt with someone and you realize that this isn’t the
person for you, be polite. Excuse yourself and go. Don’t be rude or try to sneak out of the place
covertly.

Flirting is nothing to be afraid of and is mastered through doing. Get used to the idea that we all
crash and burn at some point in our lives, so flirting isn’t going to be any different. If you live in
fear of the possible consequences of flirting, then you’re likely never to meet anyone.













In other words, just get out there, and go get your flirt on with some women!

~h

Going Out Alone, Kinoescalation Tips, and Getting the Phone Number

I was taking a break from studying Micro, when I started thinking [a lot] about HBAmazon, whom I've been seeing at the most inopportune times lately, and finally had a perfect opening..if only I'd seen it [or rather, her] on Friday - and it [or rather, she] is obviously still on my mind.

And then, my roommate apparently couldn't not run into her today, studying near her at the library, and then ending up at the gym at the same time as her, too - and as luck would have it, he didn't take his cell phone with him the whole day, so he couldn't hit me up to let me know that all of this was going down..awesome



Anyways, I started thinking about how I need to close this [as in, I need to, and how to go about doing so], and these ideas started flying around in my head.

For example, we have exams coming up in 2 weeks..but most other terms don't. Am I going to have people to go out with? Should that even be an issue?

I personally kind of like going out alone. It's less hassle getting everything organized, you don't have to wait for your friends to get there, you don't have the distraction of standing around talking to your buddies, and it's a great feeling to leave your house alone and come back with a beautiful woman. It also makes approaching WAY easier because if you don't approach you're just standing around by yourself, which is not particularly fun.

When I first started going out alone, I always felt like EVERYONE in the bar knew I was there by myself and was judging me for it. So one night I decided to do an experiment. I went to a bar and stood in the middle of the bar by myself, not talking to anybody. I was fully expecting people to give me dirty looks or make comments, but nothing happened. Then the next night I went out alone again and this time did a bunch of approaches, I was sure every group was going to ask me where my friends were. And it never happened. Because people really don't care. The biggest hurdle to going out alone is getting over the feeling that people will think you're less cool for being out alone.

Ok so let's look at some things that can be done to fix that worry or fear.

1. Getting in the batter's box. This is something a buddy once said to me that has always stuck. He said the hardest part of going out alone is getting yourself going. I know how it is, you're sitting around your house debating with yourself about whether to go out or stay in. You list all the reasons for and against going out, flip through your phone looking for girls you could call to come over, etc.. But what if instead of that, you simply started to get ready. While you're debating with yourself, hop in the shower, or shave or pick out an outfit for that night. This will help get the ball rolling and then once you're clean, shaved, dressed etc..you'll feel like you have to go out.

2. Approach the first girl you see in the venue. Nothing kills your state when you're out alone faster than standing around with a drink in your hand. So instead as soon as you walk into the venue, start talking to the first girl you see. If there aren't any girls in the bar yet, then talk to the first guy you see. A lot of guys underestimate the power of being talkative. The more of a talkative mood you're in, the easier it will be to approach.

3. Set a certain number of approaches you HAVE to do. It doesn'thave to be overly ambitious, but make sure that you set a goal for the amount of approaches you have to do and don't let yourself go home until you complete them.

4. Establish a home base. This is one of the best and easiest things to do when you go out by yourself. A home base is where you're going to be when you are in between approaches. You don't want to be standing by yourself, so you make friends with either a group of girls you're not interested in gaming or a group of guys. Then you periodically check in with them throughout the night when you need a break or there aren't any girls you're interested in approaching.

Remember: going out alone is either normal or weird based on how YOU feel about it.

So now, let's say you're out and talking to a girl you're interested in. YOU MUST START TOUCHING ASAP!

It doesn't matter if you're not comfortable touching girls. That's fine, I was not a naturally touchy guy either.

So what I did was I came up with a simple structure to guide my touching. It went like this:

1. Playful touching - This is stuff like playfully shoving her, flicking her on the arm, patting her pompously, etc..this is the stuff that happens early on. With touching the earlier you do it, the more you will seem like a naturally touchy guy.

2. Hand touching - This is stuff like high-fives, thumb wars, playfully slapping her hand, and so on.

3. Arm in arm - This will happen as you're qualifying girls. She says something you like, you take her hand, place it on your arm and say "That's all you get". You can also do this when you're moving a girl by asking her if she's the romantic type and holding your arm out for her to link through.

4. Arm around - This is another reward type of touching. She says or does something you like, so you pull her in by her waist. There's an easy way to tell if she's attracted here, because she will put her arm back around you if she likes it.

5. Hand holding - The best way to hand-hold, is to suggest moving and then holding your hand back for her to grab.

6. Kissing - There's a variety of ways to kiss, but my soon-to-be favorite is what's called "The Almost Kiss". This is where in the middle of talking to her, you stop and say "I'm sorry, I'm having a really hard time talking to you, becauseI keep thinking about kissing you. But I understand we're not ready for that yet. So we're going to do an almost kiss. We're going to get really close, but you're not allowed to kiss me and I'm not allowed to kiss you. If you kiss me, it will ruin all trust in our relationship". Then you lean forward and get as close to her lips as you can without touching them. Then you push her away and go back to talking. 5-10 minutes later you can go back in for another almost kiss, at which point the girl will almost always kiss you.

The key with touching is that you have to act like it's the most normal thing in the world.

Ok, so now let's say things have progressed even better, and you need to get her number [i.e. no SNL in this case :-p].

Something to keep in mind: women give out their phone numbers all the time. The phone number isn't worth the paper it's written on, or the phone it's stored in. Sometimes women will even give you their phone number to get rid of you. This isn't the seventies when a phone number meant something. Every girl who has a cell phone, has caller ID..and she can pretty much avoid any guy she wants to, and guess what - she may want to avoid you.

The major mistake most guys make here, is not setting up a date. Getting phone numbers and agreeing to "see each other again sometime" are stairways to heaven. Instead what you want to do is suggest an activity at a specific time and place that you guys can do together. This could be as simple as mentioning how you're going to a comedy show this Thursday early in the conversation, and then bringing it up again and inviting her when you want to get her phone number. By making her commit to a certain time and place, you will see if she's actually interested or if she's just being polite. For example, this way she can say "I'm sorry I'm busy that night..", and if she doesn't suggest alternative plans, you know you have a potential flake on your hands.

Now there are a few other mistakes guys commonly make, as well. First is waiting too long to call her. On a cold approach, you want to call the very next day. The reason being, she doesn't have a whole lot invested in you, unlike a guy in her social circle, whom she'll have to see again.

Then there's waiting an ungodly amount of time to follow up if/when she doesn't call you back. Forget all the "3-day rules" and "5-day rules" you hear about; you want to keep following up every day or other day until you either get her on the phone, or you get distracted by all the other girls you have in the pipeline. You do have other girls in the pipeline, right?

Remember, this is the real world, and not every girl that you think you have a connection with is going to call you back.

The solution is to go out [alone if need be] and meet more women.

~h

More of Vivica

~h

I Love Vivica Fox

and she was, at least at the time of this interview, single - for me to snatch her up..


~h

Campus Game

I have a quick minute, so I wanted to write a fast post on something I noticed while watching a few people interacting with each other in between class earlier today. And it deals with the two different categories that a guy can/does usually fall into when he's out and about, spitting game or whatever.

For example, there's a difference between the guy who jumps around acting drunk all night, and the guy who ends up between the sheets with the hot girl from the volleyball team.

Both types of guys start off their night seemingly the same..smiles, laughs, fun, a few drinks. But at some point in the night, the two split ways: the one type of guy gets laid; the other type of guy gets pizza and maybe some mozzarella sticks.

Now, I'm not hating on mozzarella sticks at all, I think they're amazing -but like anything else in life, they have their time and place.

So what's the difference between the two types of guys?

It's the ability to lead.

The guys that can lead can get people to follow. Those that cannot lead, simply can't.

So ask yourself this: can you lead a group of guys to a late night bar spot? Will they listen to you? Or will you simply "go with the flow"?

And more importantly - can you lead a girl to the bedroom? Or do you just hope for the best?

Leadership makes the difference, especially when it comes to campus-style game.

A girl sees you leading = attraction.

A girl notices you are leading your conversation with her = attraction.

You lead a girl to the bedroom = fun time.

So today's lesson, if you haven't figured it out yet?

LEAD.

In all situations, take it upon yourself to lead. To make things happen. Get the plans going. Lead conversations confidently. Get comfortable being this new you.

Lead, and the girls will follow.

~h

The Temporary "Quick Fix" - Quick Advice to Boost Your Game TONIGHT

What Is The One Thing You Can Do NOW To Get The Girl?

Okay, there's all kinds of different things that are good advice in pickup. Some of the advice can seem opposite of each other in certain ways. And so if you try and boil it down and say "What's the one thing?"..

Obviously, I want you to do a bunch of different things, now that would get you some real results - I've got 5, 6, 10 different things I want you to do. But if I really had to boil it down to one thing, and I was stuck with only one piece of advice..then I guess I'd have to say: "Just be persistent".

Just keep trying, keep trying..because what guys usually do that fucks them up, is that they just sit around and stare, they sit there in the corner, they go get another drink, they just DON'T DO ANYTHING.

So at least if you're being persistent, you're actually up there doing something. The problem is if you just tell someone to be persistent, you're leaving out the active disinterest part, doing the push-aways, the negs. Because otherwise, if you don't tell someone to do that, they just keep being persistent, and it's too needy. They make the move, they say something, they try and get something, basically you're always pushing, pushing, pushing..so at this point, the girl is getting one emotion, but she's not getting the disinterest emotion to then create that comfort for the next move or escalation.

The actual advice I would tell someone with only a second to try and get something going: Make a bunch of crazy moves on her, be fun and crazy .. BUT do a lot of active disinterest in between, do a lot of push-aways in between.

For example - I give her a hug, but push her away and say "get off me"..then make another crazy move, and roll off to say hi to a friend.

Basically what you're doing is this sort of hardcore push-pull, and that's one piece of advice that I know in my mind , even if your technique kind of sucks and you're not really that well-practiced, you're definitely going to get the best possible results right off the bat with that emotional push-pull.

So next time you're out, looking at a chick and trying to figure out what you can do right this second to try and get some attraction..the best thing you can [literally, tonight] is to make a lot of crazy, fun, bold moves, BUT throw in a lot of push-aways at the same time. Give her a hug, then push her away. Grab her hand, then throw it down. Go up to her and say something funny, then turn away and get a drink. Back and forth, back and forth. That's what's going to stimulate her emotions the most. That's what I think would get the highest percentage of great responses for the "temporary" fix.

Want more quick advice?

Talk to women. Seriously.

It seems simple, but as Mystery said on Conan O'Brien, "The number one thing you can do to meet women is ........ Get Out Of The House."

So please get yourselves out into those social situations, take a step out of your comfort boundary, and hit me up to let me know how it went!

~h

The Truth about "Natural Game"

When you've been around pickup and dating science for some time, you'll have seen trends come and go, from creepy old guys telling you to point at your penis when you talk to hippy shamans guaranteeing that any woman can squirt, not to mention the guy who had legions of online fans based on his "new discoveries" until he was forced to admit that he was, in fact, a virgin. These things remind me of societal trends like 80's clothes and hair, oxygen water, or Dungeons and Dragons 3.0: they are all bad, and they will all ruin your game.

The latest of these fads: "natural game". According to this, you don't need any of the best word-for-word scripts, you don't need the step-by-step structure from Magic Bullets; you can just go out and be yourself and have fun and women will come to you. The problem here is that this is what most of us were trying to do before we discovered dating science, that it didn't work back then, and that it sure as heck won't help new people get better now.

When you have large, complex problems like "see that beautiful woman over there; get her into bed (or make her my girlfriend)", it's really helpful to break it down into specific tasks that come one after another. First you do X, until Y happens, and then you do Z. There are only 6 steps, and only a few combinations within each, but it has simplified the lives of thousands of men worldwide and it works. And "being yourself" doesn't help if you draw a mental blank or run out of things to say. Sure, it's easy to tell someone just to make conversation when he runs out of things to say, but when you're talking to a Playboy Playmate look-alike, and her friends are trying to drag her away, and she's looking at you expectantly to see if there's anything more to you than a well-delivered opening line..you have to have stuff ready to go. And it has to be good. Why try to use stuff that didn't work in the past when there is proven material that has worked time and time again to guide you?

In general, any fad that promises an easy path without putting in the work sounds - and is - too good to be true. Does this mean being "natural" is bad or impossible? Of course not. If you see The Mystery Method bootcamp graduates out socially, they will look very relaxed and natural. But that's because they've done the work to get there.

Let me explain, with reference to an all-American metaphor: baseball.

A professional baseball player can step up to the plate, stare at the pitcher, and then, with perfection and apparent ease, hit the ball perfectly for a home run. Let's say you are brand new to the sport of baseball. Perhaps you have never even stepped up to bat before - but you really want to learn and you spend the money and get the opportunity to train with this professional baseball player. The first thing you ask him is "How do I hit a home run?", and he explains that the best way to hit a home run is not to think about it. You need to just feel when the timing is right to hit the ball. Your mind and soul should be on autopilot, you should be one with your true self and then hitting the home run will come naturally to you.


Is he lying to you? No. That is the way he hits a home run every time. But will that advice ever help you hit a home run? Not one darn bit. What has happened is this professional player has completely forgotten about all the years he has spent playing baseball. He forgot about the thousands of times he has been up to bat before. He forgot entirely about his learning process that has allowed him to become the natural baseball player who can effortlessly hit home runs.
It is no different with meeting and attracting women. If you haven't had all of the success you want, going out and "being natural" isn't going to help, no matter how many eBooks you read.

Natural game is simply how men act when they are ALREADY good with women.

You learn natural game by going out and practicing, as much as possible, for as long as possible. You practice with the best tools available to you. Natural game is learned by doing a thousand approaches and then going out and doing a thousand more. It comes from hard work, a good attitude, patterns of success, and a willingness to push through some failure. It comes from making good friends who will push you, attending bootcamps and seminars, and then going out and doing all of it all over again. If you do that I guarantee that you will have natural game.

People who all of a sudden "discover" natural game actually reveal more about their own dating science skills and development than they do about how to teach others. All it means is that they have gotten good enough with the basic structure and with routines that they are now able to take the training wheels off. They discover that now that they have internalized the right behaviors and intuitions from having worked with a structure and routines that they don't need to slavishly follow the model anymore and can improvise.

Well, of course.

When you see me out with friends, I'm improvising, taking advantage of possible shortcuts, and so on. That's because you reach a point where you're good enough to be able to "feel" the game and be "natural," like the baseball player in this analogy. But there's no way that you can get that good if you don't have and use the right resources out there. And whenever something goes wrong, you go straight back to the basics to troubleshoot.

There is a world of difference between being good with women and being able to teach others how to be good with women. Being able to pick up is necessary to being a good teacher, but it's not enough. That's why I've always been suspicious of guys who proclaim themselves to be gurus. If they were really gurus who could change other peoples' lives, there'd be armies of men using their system to great results.

The best way to learn natural game is to do the work necessary to get there. To make the most progress in the least amount of time, it is best to do the training and the exercises that teach you natural game. Those are following the program: scripted material, canned openers, and proven attraction routines. These are time-tested, proven methods that have transformed thousands of Average Frustrated Chumps [AFCs], into real-world pick up artists and the new "naturals."

Another error in the natural game theory, and it applies equally to our pro baseball player and to our pickup artist, is that natural game only happens when your mind and body are in state. What happens when you are nervous, tired, had a bad day at work, dog died or Marvel kills off Captain America? You aren't in the mood to be instantly clever and charming right off the top of your head. But you sure as hell can read a couple of scripts, and then go approach. Every single time.

The few guys I know who are teaching natural game got there only after doing years of field work. Natural game comes from doing the field work. And the best way to learn the field work is to follow the system. Once you have it, natural game is a lot more fun and a lot easier in my opinion; however, it is anything but natural.

~h

What NOT to Say on the Phone

http://view.break.com/527579 - Watch more free videos

~h

Example of a Comfort-Building Routine

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=The Fork In The Road Routine=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"This exercise is built to help you solve a problem in your life. Ask yourself what current challenge is on your mind. What are you personally craving that you do not have? Once you have identified this thing, you are ready to begin..

Start with a very deep inhale and then exhale so that every last drop of breath is out of your lungs and you naturally take another deep breath in. Repeat this deep breathing four more times, and as you do feel your pulse slowing down and your muscles becoming more relaxed..

Imagine yourself walking down a road. You come to an intersection where the road splits into two possible paths.

Now recall specific memories from your past where you were held back from happiness because of your problem. Let yourself feel all the negativity it caused. As you access these memories, pay close attention to the areas of your body that were affected. Did any muscles tense back up? Has your breathing or pulse increased?

These physical changes are the manifestation of the negativity your problem brings. Picture all of that negativity flowing out of your body and onto the first path. As it all leaves your body, once again relax your muscles and slow your breath.

Now picture one possible future that would exist after your challenge has been overcome and your cravings have been met. Without your problem holding you back, you have gotten everything you desired. Imagine as vividly as possible what your life is like now. What does it look like? What sounds are in the air? Concentrate on what you hear, taste, and smell. Take all of these wonderful feelings, and assign them to the second path.

So far this exercise has only been about picturing things and imaging them, but you are going to actually solve this problem in real life. To help you do so, first you must create a roadblock to keep you from continuing down the first path..

For example, there may be something you in your life need to get rid of in order to keep yourself off that path. It could be an item that feeds your problem, or maybe even a person who is a bad influence. Do what you have to do to make sure you don't travel in that direction. This isn't something you should decide on later. You must set this roadblock up immediately before any further damage is done.

For the final and most important step, you must give yourself the perfect vehicle to travel down the second path. Overcoming this challenge is important, so why not have every advantage in the world? Are there some new people you can surround yourself with that could serve as this vehicle? Is there some item or tool that will serve your purposes? Don't put this off for one second. Take the first steps you need towards securing your vehicle right now. Keep in mind that those paths you pictured don't just exist in the imagination. By taking action with your roadblock and vehicle, your real-world future will be the one of the second path.."

That's the routine.

Now that you are at the end of the routine, you will want to calibrate. Usually because it was such a long and serious moment, you are going to want to end on a joke to break that tension. Put your hand out, and with a big smile on your face say, "That will be $20 please." Then have a quick laugh before moving onto the next conversational thread.

One possible such thread could be to talk about what her problem was, along with what roadblocks and vehicles she came up with. If she is willing to share all, it is a good sign that a lot of trust and comfort has been, and is being, built. Remember, however, that when she opens up, you should reciprocate and let her know the same type of information about yourself.

All of this will also help frame the interaction at this point with a lot of comfort, and it will help associate you with the good feelings and the overcoming-of-negativity stuff, further framing you as being a sort of powerful yet understanding confidant and protector of hers who is there for her when she is going through difficult times, which in turn will build more comfort, and even some attraction [remember, Protector of Loved Ones?].

Of course, this routine won't zap her with some sort of magical love spell, but if you end up doing the exercise, the joke, and the follow-up conversation..that will be quite the bonding experience.

~h

"I'm your conscience.."

~h

More Bad News

Study break time, and I'm faced with more bad news, pertaining to the entertainment industry. First, it was comedian Bernie Mac only a few days ago, and now musician Isaac Hayes has passed on, just yesterday..it's been some crazy shit going on, man..



Here's an ode to "Black Moses", and here's one to Bernie Mac, one of The Original Kings of Comedy.

~h

Always Remember to Have FUN - It's the Ultimate Attraction Switch

A reminder from Sinn on the importance of fun:


~h

Sinn on Attraction Frames

First, a quick intro on Frames, in general:


And now, the Attraction Frames:


~h

Is This How YOU Game?

I hope the answer is no


And, always beware the basic pitfalls of gaming..


~h

Sports & Entertainment News

So Brett Favre is no longer a Green Bay Packer..I don't know about you, but somehow I don't think this jets situation is going to work out too well for Favre, in the end - some good reasons why, here.


And the sudden and shocking news [at least to me], is that Bernie Mac has passed away, at 50 years of age. His death was due to a complications from a bout with pneumonia, and this may have been exacerbated due to his sarcoidosis condition [basically, inflammation in the lungs that leads to tiny cell lumps in the organs]..it is truly a sad thing, and I know he will be missed dearly.

Interesting, though..this makes 2 famous celebrity comedians that passed away due to not-so-serious medical-related circumstances that are usually fixeable pretty easily..

Some long-delayed updates are on their way, too; in the meantime, enjoy the video!
Lovely GYM GIRL



~h

LR: SNL Club Freak

Friday was a long, exhausting day. And I was already tired before it even began..

I'm just going to fast-forward to the good stuff, which is that I pre-gamed with a few of my boys before we went out to the 2 main clubs here.

We went to the first place, where they've got a more formal dress code, so I rocked my Armani jeans, Jordans, with a white shirt and dress jacket on top..I'll be honest, I was looking fly as hell, and everyone noticed - they were either loving it and going on and on about it, or they were hating on it, trying to make fun or bring me down a couple notches, but they couldn't get through my frame.

It was a decent crowd, not nearly as packed as I was expecting, but it was fun because me and my friends were there outcome-independent, just having drinks and enjoying ourselves. And people could tell, because they kept buzzing around us, starting up conversations with some of the lamest comments - it was a reminder of how hot girls feel when they're out, being approached by lame-ass AFCs with no game.

After scoping the scene for a while and fucking around with the guys, I decided to up things; after all, I didn't come out and be balled out like I was just to chill with the guys and drink my brains out in the VIP area..which we got into for free :-)

So I started talking to one of my buddies "P" about some of the girls around, and we were eyeing up and breaking down what was going on with whom. And then we relocated to the outer area because most of the people were headed that way, too. I spotted this one girl in a red dress/top, with some fucking chode, so I told my buddy I was going in.

I opened the guy, actually, being all chummy with him and feeling him out, befriending the obstacle as it were, and the guy got lamer and lamer the more he talked. And he brought the girl into the conversation, telling me how she likes him and all kinds of AFC shit, and the look on the girl's face said it all. She even went so far as to tell me, that she told him that if she wasn't dating someone back home, then she'd go out with him.

I laughed. I couldn't help it; in my mind, I was thinking if the guy had any game at all, she wouldn't have said something like that to him..shit, if he knew even a little of what he was doing, she wouldn't have said anything about a guy back home, period..much less been like 'oh sorry I'm with someone thousands of miles away, but otherwise I'd totally go out with you! My little cute puppy dog!' loll

So anyways, after talking with her for a bit, and having the drunk fool keep interrupting with random AFC shit, like how much he likes her, and wants to go out with her, and blahblahblah..I decided it was not worth it to deal with all this shit, so I bounced out..only to spot another Indian girl from my class, whom I'd nicknamed My Little Porn Star because of her very curvaceous body and dick-sucking lips, and she was looking fiiine.

She waved at me and smiled, so I went right in, and told her "Now that we're outside of class, you have to at least give me a hug and a kiss, because this is just ridiculous - you wave at me in class, all sleepy-looking with glasses on and stuff, so I don't think anything about it - I'm right there with you! But now you're all done up, looking nice in this cute little outfit, and you're awake..so that's not going to fly!"

She complied, gave me a hug and a quick peck on the cheek, and the biggest ear-to-ear smile I've seen on her face. Then we talked about some shit for a bit, I wasn't really paying much attention because I kept thinking about her lips wrapped around my fat cock..nice! So I just focused on making sure my body language was good, and I kept rocking out and then back in, just to let her know that I wasn't completely all into her/us at the moment, putting more pressure on her to continue trying to win me over.

She then got pulled off by a hater [who didn't even face me or look at me while he was there] to go find one of their super-drunk friends, and she kept trying to reassure me that she'd come back [I guess she could tell by the look on my face that I didn't believe her..or that I just didn't care haa].

Then me and my buddy met back up with our other 2 boys and decided to roll from this venue to the other nightspot, right near campus and my place. This is where the real fun started..

So we get in, and it's a decent crowd - half the people are from the other place, like us. The others head to the bar, while I take a detour to talk to the girl working the door [I've gamed her before, too, and have #-closed her]. She gave me a hug, and we chit-chatted for a minute, then I told her I'd come chill with her a little later when she wasn't too busy [it was already like 3am, so she knew I was just leaving her because I have other things to do, like gaming other hot girls around = social proof, plus pre-selection for when I come back].

I get to the bar area where my friends are, and I throw a napkin at HBBartender [it's a little thing we do = "our thing" aka connection -> comfort]. She starts giggling and can't help herself, comes over and starts chatting me up, smiling ear-to-ear. Then I tell her I need a hug, so she comes around the side and hugs up on me, squeezes me, and holds me.

After a minute, I gently push her off..but then hold her hand, which she squeezes back. We talk for a few minutes like this, then I tell her she should get back to work [non-neediness], while I go hang with my friends [social proof]. And I tell her not to worry, because I'll be back..

Me and my boys chill for a bit, and my chick-scoping buddy from before "P", points out this fiiine black local girl who keeps eyeing me, hard. And I catch her, a number of times, as well as take in the situation - she's there with another girl and 2 guys, and the way they're positioned, it seems the girls came with the guys and know them and are "with them". It's all good, no sweat, right? :-)

So a little later, my boys decide they're going to bounce, so I go and hug the girl at the door [HBDoorGirl], and tell her I'll hit her up later. She seems kind of sad to see me go, in her own bubbly way, and as I'm walking out towards the car, I'm thinking 'Why am I already leaving? I've got girls here to game, and I'm still having a good time..and still buzzing from the alcohol, too - why did I drink if I'm just going to go to bed??'

I get to the car where my boys are waiting up for me, and I tell them I'm going back in. They leave, and I go get HBDoorGirl again and tell her that they're being bitches and leaving already, but I still want to party..with her, once she gets off. She tells me she'll be done at 4-ish, and I tell her "Cool, come find me, we'll dance..and when I'm ready to go, I'll call my boy to come pick me up [because I'm not a loser who got ditched by his friends, I chose to stay, and all I have to do is ask them to come get me, and they will, no matter how late, etc, because that's what boys do for each other]".

At this point, I'm thinking about all the social proof that I have, and how quickly that can get shot down into the negatives if I don't quickly find a set, because otherwise even I'll soon succumb to the "weirdo by himself" category despite how baller I may be looking with my clothes and attitude.

I find a couple of people I know from class and jump in with them. And as luck would have it, the hot local chick from before who was eyeing me down, was standing right behind me, elbow-to-elbow and back-to-back. And I could see her turning over her shoulder to look my way every few seconds, so I was racking my brain as to how to enter the set..

So I bumped her. Softly at first, but then I did it again, a little harder. And a third time. And I could see she was getting kind of upset/frustrated with me, throwing me dirty looks, so I bumped her one more time, and this time did a double-take over my shoulder at her, like I didn't realize I was bumping into her all this time.

I apologized, almost to the point of over-kill, just to take it to such an extreme that the whole thing became almost absurd, and she brought up the fact that I'd almost spilled her drink, and I was like oh I'm soo sorry..

At this point, her "guy" jumped in, trying to be all Mr. Baller, and tells me that I'd better be sorry about that, and I looked at him and smiled, then turned back the girl and asked her "Did I spill your drink..?", to which she replied no, and I said to her and the guy "Well, then, there's nothing to stress about it, now is there?" while still smiling.

The girl cracked a smile, so I knew I was good with her, and the guy just huffed at me, so I knew he wasn't going to be a bother anymore. So, I body rocked back out from her towards my 2 friends, and then rocked back towards her and asked her how her night has been going. And we started chit-chatting, and each time she started to turn back towards her group, I'd turn my body faster/quicker, so as to seem like I was already doing it and mine was more obvious, so I must really be uninterested..and like magic, I had her re-opening me each time [I think twice or so this happened].

I started to turn to completely face her as she faced me, and then I started slowwwwly walking and talking, going for a mini-isolation a few feet away from both of our respective groups. We talked for a while, about what she does, what I do, mundane shit basically..but all the while, I was physically escalating with here, at first holding her hand [I put it out there, and she grabbed it], and then later pulling her in closer to me. This was great, because I had one leg up on the wall I was leaning up against [locked-in, of course ;-)], and so when I pulled her in towards me, she ended up with my knee pressed up between her legs. And slowly I started moving, kind of swaying to the music, and she followed suit, with my knee pressing up harder against her sweet spot..and all the while, we're still talking about things, comfort-building-type stuff, like what we want to do with out respective lives, etc.

I could see that she was getting hot, so I decided to push her away and tease her, so I told her I was going to go get another drink and use the bathroom. I ran into the 2set from before, and I asked my friend if he wants anything to drink. I ordered our drinks from this cuuuuuuuuute fucking bartender, definitely a new girl, and I start talking to her for a minute or two, asking her her name in the process and replying with how I have an ex-girlfriend with a similar name except hers was blahblahblah, then I completely roll off her and head to the bathroom.

I killed the drink as I pissed, and then I talked to some local dude about how the sink sucks. We talked for a minute on our way out, and he told me about another party the next night, invited me out to it, introduced himself to me, etc - see what social proof can do for you? And itm akes me out to be a leader of men in front of my chicks around watching.

I left him and went to find the girl I'd left all hot and bothered, and she'd rejoined her group [surprise]. She spotted me coming and smiled at me, waving me into the group. So I went in for a few seconds, smiled, said some random shit, and then pulled my girl back out to our isolation spot, only this time a little further out of most people's sight.

A few minutes later, her friends started leaving, and I could just see the look on the guy's face who was with her before, just all pissed off and shit - classic! So she and I chilled for a bit more, then I told her I was getting tired, and the place was starting to close up anyways, and then I asked her what she was up to now..

She told me she was still kind of awake, so she was probably going to go back to her place and chill or something, because she had work for a bit the next day..and she gives me this look..and I'm like "Oh cool - well, I'm going to head back, I'm kind of tired.." just to fuck with her a bit. And to continue figuring out logistics: if she's working tomorrow, then we won't have any spend-the-night shit, either, because she's got to get up relatively early; if her group left, obviously she has her own ride, which I didn't know before [I should've asked how she, and her friends, had gotten there] and was kind of hesitant about bringing her back to my place simply because I didn't want her knowing where I live and leading to drama later.

But now that was no longer an issue. So I tell her that I live on campus, maybe she can give me a ride. She agrees, and tells me that she's going to the bathroom first. So I go talk to HBDoorGirl, running some comfort shit on her, more linked to "you only live once" and "what are the odds that you and I met, and are here talking, right now, of all the people in the world I could be talking to" and having ambitions and passions in life. I also ran strawberry fields as well as rings-on-fingers, because I noticed she had a shiny ring on her right index finger. And she was loving all of it.

At this point, the super-cute bartender girl came up to me and started talking to me about Indian movies, so I was IOIing her like crazy for them, because she was obviously trying to impress me [remember, create your own reality]. So, I kept giving her high 5's and hugs, and then HBBartender came up behind me and started grinding on me from the back. And this was hilarious, because HBBartender and HBDoorGirl got into a verbal play-fight over me and ran off to go clean up, and the super-cute bartender was telling me that "They may look like they're playing now, but when you're not around, behind the scenes, they'll be going at it for real!" So I made her in charge of keeping me up-to-date on the drama, and she said that she doesn't get involved with drama [which got her another hug for not being a typical drama queen], and at this point I should've #-closed her, but I didn't..ah well, I had her give me a going-away hug-and-kiss, before she ran off to go help clean up.

My girl HBGarcelle came back sometime as me and the super-cute bartender were saying our good-byes, so I pretended not to see her and started talking to the big bouncer dude at the entrance, to get in good with him..which I did. Because he could totally fuck me over with the girls working there, as well as give me shit every time I come around, if he feels like I kind of invaded his area or something gay like that.

Then, me and HBGarcelle start walking towards her car, and as we're getting there, I tell her I'm not really ready to go to sleep because I'm not too tired at the moment. So she offers to watch a movie, and I ask her what she's got, and she says that I can see for myself..and we're off to her place!

The details are pretty much as can be expected, but basically we get to her place, she gives me a little tour, and I pick out some lovey-dovey/comedy looking movie, I think it had Ashton Kutcher or Josh Hartnett or someone like that in it, and we plop down on her couch and start watching it.

No more than 10-15 minutes later, this girl is like throwing herself at me, so things escalate pretty quick, until I push her off and tell her we should slow down [so I can drink some water!], and she agrees. Another 5 minutes later, and she starts kissing up on my neck, and I rub her arm, and her hand goes between my legs..so I think fuck it, and whip out my dick..

And she starts jerking me, almost violently, and I grab her hair and pull her head back and start making out with her, hard, and she starts taking my jacket and shirt off and sucking on my nipples, so then I slowly put pressure on the back of her head, and she gets the hint and goes down on me..and holy fuck, can she suck!!

[Oh shit, I didn't realize, that shit rhymes :-)]

Anyways, so she's sucking me off, while I'm sitting there watching the movie and drinking my water loll

Once I feel sober enough to fuck and not bust a nut too quick because I'm drunk, I start sliding my fingers between her legs, to find that she's wet as hellll already! And that shit got me going even more, to the point that I grabbed her, stood up, and slid the strings on her dress off her shoulders while I pulled my jeans and shit off..and just banged her doggy right on her couch.

After a while, I took her to her bed, along with my water bottle, and had her get on top, and I started splashing water all up on her tits and especially on that phat assss of hers..holy shit, that shit was fucking hot..

Anyways, so we finished up after a while, and I passed ouuuuut - I was totally drained! I got up maybe 30 minutes later, and I got dressed and used her phone to call my number, then I texted her back with my number, and then I went to let her know that I was leaving, and I'd hit her up later..and she just had this dreamy look and smile on her face..and I was thinking 'I know exactly how you feel haa..'

I called up one of my local cabbie buddies, who gave me a ride back to my place, and I crashed until like 3:30pm the next day..and still made it to the gym ;-)

~h

LR: Some More Text Messages

Here's a text message exchange that I had with HBMPHBrunette, and since it went really well for me, I figured I'd post it up on here for you guys to use before I deleted it.

HBMPHB: wanting to get some meds from me because she needs to study for a make-up exam

h: "Sounds cool hottie! Lemme know wen u need em..", then explained I've got different Rxs

HBMPHB: "hahaha! ur such a gangsta! dude the 30 sounds gr8! u know that i officially love you, right? let me know when ur gonna b on campus!"

h: "I love you too dearie! Esp during the booty call hrs ;-) ..but uh dont tell neone bout our secret love - it'll hurt my gangsta image :-p" [note the push-pull type of formula, following Sinn and Future's breakthrough comfort style of texting]

HBMPHB: "tell anyone? u nuts? would ruin the treasure that is our mutual love!"

h: "Very tru..i knew i kept u around 4 a reason - u're smart AND good in bed ;-) altho u do learn from the best gangsta lover ever :-p"

Later that night, we meet up for a bit to get our transaction through, and she tells me that her boyfriend goes through her phone, so she had to stop texting me when he got back.

A couple days later, she hit me up again, to get some of the other Rx, and pay me back for it all. So I texted her back, "Haha u're crazy..n it's great! I'll hit u up after my group meeting".

We met up, and she'd "left" her money in her room - how convenient, since she came out to see me..plausible deniability, anyone? ;-)

So we go back to her place, and I start talking to her about her room and some of the shit she had in there [mixed in with some sexualized comments, like how her bed was barely big enough for one person, how could we both fit on there, etc]. After a few minutes, I grabbed some DVD cover and sat down on her bed, reading the back of it. She got the money, came over and sat down on the bed, and gave it to me.

I leaned into her and told her that she smelled really nice. Then, I ran my fingertips up her neck to her hair. Then I stroked her hair and told her how I was trying so hard not to kiss her - and as it turned out, that's all I needed to do, because she lunged lip-first at my face lol

Our clothes come flying off, and next thing I know, she's bent over on her bed, with my dick rammed deep inside of her - not bad for a post-class activity :-)

It still surprises me sometimes as to just how easy this stuff can be, and how smoothly it can go, just with having the right timing with the escalation, both physical and verbal - starting back from the sexual framing in the texts all the way up to being in her room.

~h

How to Approach a Group of Girls, and Have Them Think You're Great

In this post, I’m going to use women at a bar. I will be going into lots of other techniques for non-bar pickups, too, but for now, we’ll stick with this.

As you know, women don’t usually go to bars on their own..they go in groups.

Approaching groups of women can be extremely daunting, and if you don’t know what you’re doing, you can fail miserably with groups, and like a pack of wolves they can rip you apart. I’ve seen guys get cussed at, totally ignored, and even drinks poured all on them.

But if you do the approach right, then your success with a group of women can usually yield great results.

Whenever I suggest approaching groups of women, I get guys looking at me as though I’m from another planet. I realize that lots of guys probably don’t have the initial confidence to simply walk up to beautiful women they don’t know..don’t worry, this can be easily solved.

I’ll give you some simple tips here..

Increasing Confidence Exercise - In the Mall

Step 1: Walk around the shopping mall and when you catch a woman’s eye, smile at her – more often than not, she’ll smile back. To start with, you can do this just with store employees. Even if they don’t want to smile, they probably will.

Good practice..and you might even brighten a few women’s lives a little.

Step 2: Once you’ve gained confidence in making natural eye contact and a smile with staff, you could move onto other women in the mall. I’m not suggesting big weird freak smiles, just nice, natural, friendly ones. A lot of women will smile back at you.

Step 3: Here’s where it might seem a little weird, but this really does help, and practice and repetition will make this a lot easier - just say "hi", with a smile, to women [and men, if you like] as you walk around the mall. It will feel HORRIBLE at first if you are not confident, but slowly, after an hour or two, it’ll seem easy.

After you’ve smiled and said "hi" to 20 or 30 women, you should start to feel good..as long as you don’t quit on your first negative response; this will happen, and it'll happen when you’re approaching women to pick them up, too - you have to learn to step out of your comfort zone if you want to be successful with women.

One of my buddies did the “smile at girls in the mall” technique, and he actually ended up meeting the girl of his dreams and is still with her – how’s that for effective! :-)

Keep in mind that there are plenty of other techniques you can do to build your confidence, most not quite as scary as the mall one.

Cool, now let’s assume you now have the confidence [or at least the guts] to approach women you don’t know in a bar.

Firstly, let’s suppose two girls are seated together at a bar: one is the "ugly" one, and one is the hot one [i.e. the one you like the looks of and would like to get to know more].

You see the girls..go up to them and talk to them IMMEDIATELY!

Don’t waste time.

Within 3 seconds of seeing them, approach them. Mystery [and others now] call this the "3 second rule", and I've got to say it really does seem to work.

If you see her and like her, it’s best not to think too much about the approach, or you’re more likely to work yourself into such a state that your approach will be ineffective, or you’ll just pussy out altogether!

So - within 3 seconds, go TALK to her!

Also, always, ALWAYS approach a woman from the side, or at an angle from the front..NEVER from behind – this is really important to remember!

If you go up to the group at the bar and approach from behind, you will instantly invoke a negative response, and they will be put on the defensive - not what you're going for. So to prevent things from starting off on the wrong foot, and then needing to do damage control [which might be futile at that point, anyway], always, always, ALWAYS go in from the side or angled from the front.

~h

Inside the Mind of a Hot, Yet Insecure, Girl

Have you ever been played hard by a girl..?

Today, let’s take a journey into the mind of a hot but deeply insecure girl to see what’s going on and how she games the men in her life.

The hot girl in question is a composite of a few girls I’ve known, and we’ll call her "Sarah". Every girl has a little bit of Sarah in them - this composite we’re drawing is simply the most extreme iteration of it.

Here’s the backstory, taken from my experiences with the girls:

I met her at a cool, semi-exclusive bar while she was on a date; she and her date were seated nearby us at a large communal table, and it was clear that she wasn’t madly in love with the guy, despite his fawning over her.

Interesting challenge..

A few weeks and much flakiness later, she came to one of my parties. We dated for about a week and a half afterwards, but it didn’t take long to figure out that it wasn’t going anywhere. She’s 21, has various addictions I’d never accept in a girlfriend, and parties way too much. That’d be fine and we could have still had something basic if the physical connection was good, but it wasn’t.

Sexual tension resolved, we transitioned into being friends, and these days she is something of a surrogate little sister. It's adorable - she’ll come by my place, bounce around like a pinball, and effervesce about the drama and excitement in her life.

Sarah is a smart girl - far more intelligent than she initially appears. She plays the ditzy little girl role with aplomb, and half of my friends still refuse to believe that her IQ could possibly break the triple digit barrier. But when it comes to men, she knows exactly what she’s doing.

In the months we’ve been friends, I’ve seen her destroy several guys, and I watch her keeping a steady flow of prospects in the pipeline. The guys she dates are good looking, successful, and usually, they fall hard.

I believe that deep down Sarah is also a good girl who wants to find a deeper happiness than her life today gives her, but as it stands, I’d hate for one of my friends to get caught up with a girl like her. And should you ever find yourself in a situation with a Sarah of your own, it's only fair that you understand exactly what’s going on.

Personally, I’ve dated two girls like her before, and was in a wickedly hurtful relationship with one of them. Let’s see if we can get into Sarah’s head.

The first thing you have to know about her existence is that it is fairly shallow. Moment to moment, she seeks constant emotional and physical stimulation in the form of drugs, sex, cigarettes, text flirting with guys, etc. And unlike most of us, she’s able to get away with this because, well, she’s a hot 21 year old in a big city who knows how to play the game.

Sarah also likes to party. She’s out two to four nights a weeks, sometimes hitting multiple clubs at once, and she’s always at the best and hottest new club. Promoters love her because she rarely brings guys along, and has a great personality; fun, ditzy, playful, giggly - everything you want in a girl when you’re out at a club.

But when she meets a guy in whom she’s interested, her demeanor changes instantly. First, her voice softens up to something akin to a baby’s cooing and her eyes become doe-like. The innocence comes across as capitulation, and flips a big switch in a man - his desire to take care of a woman.

But she also knows how to turn on the sexy..with a narrowing of the eyes, a crossing of the legs, a little bite of the lip - and she’s attractive enough that few men are going to turn her down. I’ve watched her do it to four randoms in clubs, as well as a friend of mine just to prove to me that she could.

This 1-2-3 combo results in paralyzing crushes: fun wild social girl to fawning little bunny to sexual mistress.

She goes after bankers and traders whenever possible. It is important for her ego that the men she’s dating have certain qualifications.

And as she starts dating a man, she’s full of push-pull. One morning she’s in his kitchen, wearing his oxford shirt and cooking breakfast for him. She tells him she’ll see him later that night, then flakes out and heads to a club with me where we’ll dance the night away.

The guy starts texting her, “Baby, where are you?” The next morning, she meekly apologizes, shows up for sex, and pulls the guy deeper into thinking that if he tries just a little bit harder, she’ll change for him.

And this is the genius [mad or otherwise] in how she handles a man. She is incredibly compliant and giving when she’s with him, to the point he thinks he “has her”. She is very emotional and “falls in love” quickly; temporary as it may be, the guy starts to believe it, too. Her emotions are like a hurricane: as soon as they come, they can also be gone.

And a guy wants to believe that he’s going to be the one who tames her, that she’ll be his domestic Debbie. Then, once she’s felt that the guy has invested enough into her [and critically, ONLY then], she’ll disappear.

And here’s the funny part - it works best on the guys with huge egos. The most successful, the best-looking, the ones who eat women for breakfast. She’s sexy enough that she can make them work hard to get her [fancy meals, tables and bottles, whatever she wants, really], and once they’ve invested enough and then “won”, it becomes part of their ego that they’re dating the girl who everyone else wants but who no one can have.

The moment she pulls away, that massive ego begins to lurch. I’ve watch guys cancel travel plans, leave work early, and go into debt trying to pull this girl back into their world.

Does this lead to good relationships? Absolutely not - it results in fights, guys showing up at her house [and mine] yelling in the street for her, and lots of bad feelings. But it works for her for two reasons:

First, all the drama is essentially emotional stimulation. Whether she’s feeling really good and excited about a guy, or whether he’s blowing up her Blackberry with pleas and grievances, it is making her life interesting.

Secondly, while she is an intelligent girl, she has some very deep issues. Insecurities she’s not comfortable sharing with a guy with whom she’s romantically involved. She knows [instinctively] that if she truly opens herself up in that way, she’s putting herself in a position to be hurt. And she’s so insecure about who she really is that she’s just not going to let a guy who’s fucking her have that kind of power over her.

What’s the lesson here for us guys?

Well, most importantly, do your homework and follow your instincts. A key concept in attraction is investment: the more you invest in something, the more of an emotional attachment you develop for it.

And falling in love with Sarah is kind of like buying stock in a promising but volatile tech company - if it is a hot thing that is poised to take off and generate massive returns, you might get emotionally invested, and fail to get out when you should. Every now and then, the company puts out a press release with incredibly good news, but since you’ve never met management, you don’t know if it's accurate. And believe me, if a man is dealing with Sarah on a superficial or ego basis, he definitely hasn’t met management.

Perhaps you started dating a girl and had people who knew her tell you to “watch out for her”, but you defended her and said “no, I know her in a way that other people don’t” or something equally silly. Well, management is hidden away in the board room and letting the PR and customer service people do the talking, and you bought into the lines they’re feeding you.

What else? Don’t let your ego get caught up in determining whether she’d be a good girl for you. Sarah has great people in her life who are looking out for her, and just because you’re fucking her doesn’t mean it's your responsibility to save her.

Yes, if she sees your interest waning, she’ll work hard to get it back. But if you’re getting any signs that your girl is half-heartedly committed, that her insecurities and/or abilities with men are driving her to seek constant stimulation, then you just have to keep your eyes open - one day, when she’s had enough partying, she’ll find a solid man and latch on tight, and there will be no doubt in his mind [or hers] that she’s in it to win it.

But until then, if there’s smoke, there’s probably fire.

The things that drive Sarah are present in everyone’s head. When you’re looking for a girlfriend, it's important to be able to see her for who she really is.

I’ve been in relationships with girls who I thought were loving, honest people. Something went wrong, then all of a sudden I’m seeing parts of Sarah come out. The girl is pushing me, pulling me, and I’m telling myself “wait, this isn’t who she is! She’s the girl I was dating a few months ago..I just need to bring that back out of her”.

Problem is, because her perception of me and the role that I play in her life changed, the person who she is when she’s dating me changed, too.

Lessons learned.

And hey - if you know yourself and who you are, you know what you’ll accept, what you won’t, and you’ll be able to give yourself fully in love when the right girl comes along.

~h