How to Get the Girl You Like, to Notice You

Have you ever liked a girl, but she never knew you existed?

Tell me if this sounds familiar:

You see an absolutely drop-dead gorgeous girl you are instantly attracted to..



You keep your distance, admiring her from afar, imagining all the wonderful times the two of you could have together..

In the blink of an eye, it's as though you and her have lived a life-time together, and you're convinced "she's the one"..

But for some reason, no matter how much you send out your "vibe", she doesn't seem to notice you!

And whenever you talk to her (should you work up the courage to do so), you can't tell if she's feeling the same way about you that you are about her..

You WANT to ask her out, you WANT her to like you..

But you just don't know how.

Welcome to hell, my friend - the hell of not being noticed by the girl of your dreams.

Don't fear, we've all been there before. The trick here to find romantic success is actually very simple..

See, most guys in this situation will do one of two things:

1. They'll sit around and wait for the girl to ask them out - or show some sign that she feels the same way as they do.

2. They'll jump the gun and ask her out before they establish any type of connection with her.

Either way, these plans of action NEVER work.

Girls WILL NOT ask you out. They're just not used to it. The burden is on the guy to take the initiative.

Also, girls WILL NOT usually accept your offer to go out on a date, if you haven't tried to generate attraction, interest, or rapport with her before-hand.

Understand: just because you feel an emotion, and you have already convinced yourself that you're meant for this girl, DOES NOT mean she has experienced those same emotions..

Your job, as a man, is to help the girl of your desires to feel those emotions!

Otherwise, you won't succeed in getting her to notice you, let alone GO OUT with you.

If you really want to get success with girls, and get them to notice you, here's the basics of what you have to do:

1. Approach the girl, the RIGHT way: The first step in getting any girl to notice you is to meet them. You actually have to WALK UP to the girl, look her in the eyes, and engage her in a conversation. And, you have to do so in a way that is not annoying, imposing, or needy!

2. Create feelings of connection: This is what some might call that "click" or "chemistry". Creating feelings of connection are all about fostering feelings of trust and comfort with women. Too often, guys make the mistake of being a "gender neutral" friend. But creating connections is about finding similarities between you and the girl, so the two of you feel some sort of a conncetion or a bond.

3. Create feelings of sexual tension: This is also known as "flirting". Most guys don't bother to do this, and because of that, they get stuck as "just friends". You HAVE to know how to flirt with the girl, if you want her to start seeing you as a possible romantic interest.

You have to know how to stir within her those feelings of desire and attraction!

Otherwise, you're just another one of those "nice guys" she knows in her life.

If you can do all three of these things, you can get any girl you like, to notice you..so go out there, and Get the Girl!

~h

Flirting: Some Quick Tips on How to Flirt with Women

It's been a while, yes, yes, I know..and I've got to admit: I've missed my blog.

A LOT has been going on, especially with school and pick-up: exams were good, and I've been making headway with a number of girls despite my crazy-busy schedule [a bunch of #closes, some solid seeds growing, etc].

The problem: no..fuckin..time!

It's costing me girls I've been slowly setting up, despite the rough school schedule, AND it cost me joining Mehow's crew as a coach for the entire Central America/Caribbean/South America region..more on that another time..for now, let's just leave it at "fuuuuuuuuck!!"

HBAmazonian is quickly becoming my one-itis, though..and I can't figure her out - physically, all the signs are there, and yet verbally, she's playing me..and pretty damn well, too! I got her number, but not after some awkward game-play and situation barriers..and I'm even more confused now than I was before..more on that another time, too.

Anyways, all that aside, on to what I wanted to talk about - flirting.

Ever notice someone that you would like to get to know better? Ever look over and see
someone looking back at you? Are you afraid of letting someone know how you feel because
you are afraid they might not be interested? Well you’re not alone. Nearly all of us at some point
in our lives have felt this way. If you really want to get that person’s attention, and find out if they could be interested in you, then learn to flirt.

Flirting is a great way to seek out the information that you want. It also does not have to be very
emotional - but emotional levels definitely make things easier. If the other person doesn’t respond then you can move on to someone or something else. Knowing how to flirt effectively is the key to getting them interested and keeping them that way. Let's look at ways people do flirt and offer some tips on how to do it effectively.

First off, keep in mind that although flirting is relatively harmless, you are playing with another’s emotions. Flirting with someone your not interested in just isn’t nice..but it's good practice! :-p

The next thing is not to worry about what you say as much as how you look and what you are doing. When someone sees you, they give slightly over half of their attention to how you look. Make sure you look nice and are dressed for the occasion. You just want to be noticed, not to shock people.

The next item of importance is your body language. About one third of their attention will go to
this. Watch what you do. Make sure you not doing anything embarrassing with your hands or
moving about to much. Stand up straight, don’t slouch and look confident.

Finally, a small part of flirting does go to what is said. Try to stay calm. If you are naturally funny or charming, then use this to your advantage; if not, then the less said, the better - just try to engage in a friendly conversation, or "banter".

To find out if that special someone is interested in you, try flirting. By flirting, you will draw
attention and hopefully attract the one that you want. By paying attention to how you look, what you do and what you say [to a degree], you could be well on your way to finding that special someone.

Keep in mind that flirting should be fun, not torture. However, everyday, millions of us let opportunities go by due to a fear of flirting.

A fear of flirting is quite common, even among the most confident of people. There are those that can run multi-national corporations, get up in front of thousands of people and talk, but when it comes to flirting with a possible love interest, that confidence goes completely out the window.

This fear of flirting comes from the fear of crashing and burning. If one attempts to flirt and
bombs badly, this is a total self-confidence killer. It doesn’t matter what type of high-powered
person you are, getting the shove from a possible love interest shatters your self-image.

To get past this, try ignoring that little voice in your head. Think of all your successes and simply go for it.

The fear of flirting can also stem from lack of experience. Some people don’t know how to flirt, or they flirt very badly. Again, this can lead to potentially crashing and killing your self confidence.

To get over this, try practicing with/on a friend. They can tell you if you’re likely to succeed or make a complete fool out of yourself..but then again, keep in mind that women's adive can many times be wayyyyyyyy off what they actually want [topic for another time, but basically, women have an idea or concept of the things that they want, but they actually are hard-wired to respond to completely different things].

The fear of flirting can also come from not knowing the appropriate time or occasion. Many are
reluctant to approach women in bars or night clubs because of their connotations. Flirting at
work can also present problems.

Keep in mind that there really isn’t a right or wrong place to flirt. Just be aware of where you are and make sure your technique is good.

Finally, some fear flirting because of what it could bring. They fear approaching a person,
successfully chatting, and then finding out that they are horrible. What to do in those occasions
sends people into a panic. If you do start to flirt with someone and you realize that this isn’t the
person for you, be polite. Excuse yourself and go. Don’t be rude or try to sneak out of the place
covertly.

Flirting is nothing to be afraid of and is mastered through doing. Get used to the idea that we all
crash and burn at some point in our lives, so flirting isn’t going to be any different. If you live in
fear of the possible consequences of flirting, then you’re likely never to meet anyone.













In other words, just get out there, and go get your flirt on with some women!

~h

Campus Game

I have a quick minute, so I wanted to write a fast post on something I noticed while watching a few people interacting with each other in between class earlier today. And it deals with the two different categories that a guy can/does usually fall into when he's out and about, spitting game or whatever.

For example, there's a difference between the guy who jumps around acting drunk all night, and the guy who ends up between the sheets with the hot girl from the volleyball team.

Both types of guys start off their night seemingly the same..smiles, laughs, fun, a few drinks. But at some point in the night, the two split ways: the one type of guy gets laid; the other type of guy gets pizza and maybe some mozzarella sticks.

Now, I'm not hating on mozzarella sticks at all, I think they're amazing -but like anything else in life, they have their time and place.

So what's the difference between the two types of guys?

It's the ability to lead.

The guys that can lead can get people to follow. Those that cannot lead, simply can't.

So ask yourself this: can you lead a group of guys to a late night bar spot? Will they listen to you? Or will you simply "go with the flow"?

And more importantly - can you lead a girl to the bedroom? Or do you just hope for the best?

Leadership makes the difference, especially when it comes to campus-style game.

A girl sees you leading = attraction.

A girl notices you are leading your conversation with her = attraction.

You lead a girl to the bedroom = fun time.

So today's lesson, if you haven't figured it out yet?

LEAD.

In all situations, take it upon yourself to lead. To make things happen. Get the plans going. Lead conversations confidently. Get comfortable being this new you.

Lead, and the girls will follow.

~h

The Temporary "Quick Fix" - Quick Advice to Boost Your Game TONIGHT

What Is The One Thing You Can Do NOW To Get The Girl?

Okay, there's all kinds of different things that are good advice in pickup. Some of the advice can seem opposite of each other in certain ways. And so if you try and boil it down and say "What's the one thing?"..

Obviously, I want you to do a bunch of different things, now that would get you some real results - I've got 5, 6, 10 different things I want you to do. But if I really had to boil it down to one thing, and I was stuck with only one piece of advice..then I guess I'd have to say: "Just be persistent".

Just keep trying, keep trying..because what guys usually do that fucks them up, is that they just sit around and stare, they sit there in the corner, they go get another drink, they just DON'T DO ANYTHING.

So at least if you're being persistent, you're actually up there doing something. The problem is if you just tell someone to be persistent, you're leaving out the active disinterest part, doing the push-aways, the negs. Because otherwise, if you don't tell someone to do that, they just keep being persistent, and it's too needy. They make the move, they say something, they try and get something, basically you're always pushing, pushing, pushing..so at this point, the girl is getting one emotion, but she's not getting the disinterest emotion to then create that comfort for the next move or escalation.

The actual advice I would tell someone with only a second to try and get something going: Make a bunch of crazy moves on her, be fun and crazy .. BUT do a lot of active disinterest in between, do a lot of push-aways in between.

For example - I give her a hug, but push her away and say "get off me"..then make another crazy move, and roll off to say hi to a friend.

Basically what you're doing is this sort of hardcore push-pull, and that's one piece of advice that I know in my mind , even if your technique kind of sucks and you're not really that well-practiced, you're definitely going to get the best possible results right off the bat with that emotional push-pull.

So next time you're out, looking at a chick and trying to figure out what you can do right this second to try and get some attraction..the best thing you can [literally, tonight] is to make a lot of crazy, fun, bold moves, BUT throw in a lot of push-aways at the same time. Give her a hug, then push her away. Grab her hand, then throw it down. Go up to her and say something funny, then turn away and get a drink. Back and forth, back and forth. That's what's going to stimulate her emotions the most. That's what I think would get the highest percentage of great responses for the "temporary" fix.

Want more quick advice?

Talk to women. Seriously.

It seems simple, but as Mystery said on Conan O'Brien, "The number one thing you can do to meet women is ........ Get Out Of The House."

So please get yourselves out into those social situations, take a step out of your comfort boundary, and hit me up to let me know how it went!

~h

LR: Some More Text Messages

Here's a text message exchange that I had with HBMPHBrunette, and since it went really well for me, I figured I'd post it up on here for you guys to use before I deleted it.

HBMPHB: wanting to get some meds from me because she needs to study for a make-up exam

h: "Sounds cool hottie! Lemme know wen u need em..", then explained I've got different Rxs

HBMPHB: "hahaha! ur such a gangsta! dude the 30 sounds gr8! u know that i officially love you, right? let me know when ur gonna b on campus!"

h: "I love you too dearie! Esp during the booty call hrs ;-) ..but uh dont tell neone bout our secret love - it'll hurt my gangsta image :-p" [note the push-pull type of formula, following Sinn and Future's breakthrough comfort style of texting]

HBMPHB: "tell anyone? u nuts? would ruin the treasure that is our mutual love!"

h: "Very tru..i knew i kept u around 4 a reason - u're smart AND good in bed ;-) altho u do learn from the best gangsta lover ever :-p"

Later that night, we meet up for a bit to get our transaction through, and she tells me that her boyfriend goes through her phone, so she had to stop texting me when he got back.

A couple days later, she hit me up again, to get some of the other Rx, and pay me back for it all. So I texted her back, "Haha u're crazy..n it's great! I'll hit u up after my group meeting".

We met up, and she'd "left" her money in her room - how convenient, since she came out to see me..plausible deniability, anyone? ;-)

So we go back to her place, and I start talking to her about her room and some of the shit she had in there [mixed in with some sexualized comments, like how her bed was barely big enough for one person, how could we both fit on there, etc]. After a few minutes, I grabbed some DVD cover and sat down on her bed, reading the back of it. She got the money, came over and sat down on the bed, and gave it to me.

I leaned into her and told her that she smelled really nice. Then, I ran my fingertips up her neck to her hair. Then I stroked her hair and told her how I was trying so hard not to kiss her - and as it turned out, that's all I needed to do, because she lunged lip-first at my face lol

Our clothes come flying off, and next thing I know, she's bent over on her bed, with my dick rammed deep inside of her - not bad for a post-class activity :-)

It still surprises me sometimes as to just how easy this stuff can be, and how smoothly it can go, just with having the right timing with the escalation, both physical and verbal - starting back from the sexual framing in the texts all the way up to being in her room.

~h

How to Approach a Group of Girls, and Have Them Think You're Great

In this post, I’m going to use women at a bar. I will be going into lots of other techniques for non-bar pickups, too, but for now, we’ll stick with this.

As you know, women don’t usually go to bars on their own..they go in groups.

Approaching groups of women can be extremely daunting, and if you don’t know what you’re doing, you can fail miserably with groups, and like a pack of wolves they can rip you apart. I’ve seen guys get cussed at, totally ignored, and even drinks poured all on them.

But if you do the approach right, then your success with a group of women can usually yield great results.

Whenever I suggest approaching groups of women, I get guys looking at me as though I’m from another planet. I realize that lots of guys probably don’t have the initial confidence to simply walk up to beautiful women they don’t know..don’t worry, this can be easily solved.

I’ll give you some simple tips here..

Increasing Confidence Exercise - In the Mall

Step 1: Walk around the shopping mall and when you catch a woman’s eye, smile at her – more often than not, she’ll smile back. To start with, you can do this just with store employees. Even if they don’t want to smile, they probably will.

Good practice..and you might even brighten a few women’s lives a little.

Step 2: Once you’ve gained confidence in making natural eye contact and a smile with staff, you could move onto other women in the mall. I’m not suggesting big weird freak smiles, just nice, natural, friendly ones. A lot of women will smile back at you.

Step 3: Here’s where it might seem a little weird, but this really does help, and practice and repetition will make this a lot easier - just say "hi", with a smile, to women [and men, if you like] as you walk around the mall. It will feel HORRIBLE at first if you are not confident, but slowly, after an hour or two, it’ll seem easy.

After you’ve smiled and said "hi" to 20 or 30 women, you should start to feel good..as long as you don’t quit on your first negative response; this will happen, and it'll happen when you’re approaching women to pick them up, too - you have to learn to step out of your comfort zone if you want to be successful with women.

One of my buddies did the “smile at girls in the mall” technique, and he actually ended up meeting the girl of his dreams and is still with her – how’s that for effective! :-)

Keep in mind that there are plenty of other techniques you can do to build your confidence, most not quite as scary as the mall one.

Cool, now let’s assume you now have the confidence [or at least the guts] to approach women you don’t know in a bar.

Firstly, let’s suppose two girls are seated together at a bar: one is the "ugly" one, and one is the hot one [i.e. the one you like the looks of and would like to get to know more].

You see the girls..go up to them and talk to them IMMEDIATELY!

Don’t waste time.

Within 3 seconds of seeing them, approach them. Mystery [and others now] call this the "3 second rule", and I've got to say it really does seem to work.

If you see her and like her, it’s best not to think too much about the approach, or you’re more likely to work yourself into such a state that your approach will be ineffective, or you’ll just pussy out altogether!

So - within 3 seconds, go TALK to her!

Also, always, ALWAYS approach a woman from the side, or at an angle from the front..NEVER from behind – this is really important to remember!

If you go up to the group at the bar and approach from behind, you will instantly invoke a negative response, and they will be put on the defensive - not what you're going for. So to prevent things from starting off on the wrong foot, and then needing to do damage control [which might be futile at that point, anyway], always, always, ALWAYS go in from the side or angled from the front.

~h

8 Keys to Success With Women

1) Always judge a woman by the way she acts..and not by what she tells you

If she tells you that she loves you, but doesn't respond to the way you touch her..if she tells you that she likes you, but acts differently..don't waste your time.

Go by how she acts. You have eyes. You are not stupid - you know when a woman's actions do not match up with her words.

2) Don't try to impress a woman

Rather, try to interest her..there is a difference!

When you impress, you are getting a woman for the short term. The problem with impressing a woman is that you have to constantly think of new tricks.

It's easier to interest her. If you do not know the difference between impressing a woman and interesting her, you have a lot to learn:

The man who impresses a woman is a magician. He thinks of new tricks, and the audience "gasps!" in wonder. But after some time, his tricks are for nothing. Then he has to learn new tricks.

The man who interests a woman is a painting. It is a beautiful painting that a person stares at in awe. And with each passing day, it is still beautiful. It is timeless. And all who look upon the painting know that it is genuine beauty.

Interest her rather than impressing her - impressing a woman is fake..interesting a woman is genuine.

3) Do you know what I find ironic? If a girl never liked you to begin with, your gifts, flowers, and chocolates won't do a damn thing.

And on the same token, if a girl already liked you, your gifts, flowers, and chocolates are unneeded, because she already liked you.

4) It's all about SELF-IMPROVEMENT

When a man exercises and becomes stronger, he changes.

A woman takes notice.

When a man studies hard and gets the job that he desires, he changes.

A woman takes notice.

When a man gets a rewarding career and gets the wealth that he desires, he changes.

A woman takes notice.

When a man works on improving his own life and fulfilling his own dreams, he changes.

A woman takes notice.

When a man focuses on improving himself physically, socially, mentally and spiritually, he changes.

A woman takes notice.

Ambition is absolutely attractive to a woman. And this is why a woman is intrigued by a man who speaks and thinks with ambition. In fact, some women will desire a man even if he is poor, if his ambition burns in his soul.

Women associate ambition with potential. A man with ambition is always striving for perfection and for obtaining that which he desires.

5) The only way to have a happy life is to develop one for yourself, then leave an opening for someone else to come and share it with you.

Neither of these two things is easy..BUT - a woman will not fulfill your life; you must fulfill your own life!

6) Observe the best salesmen!

There are certain salesmen that you will never buy from. And there are the ones that you do.

Observe the best salesmen. Observe the way he talks to you: what he does, how he acts, how he walks, how he talks..basically, what is his "secret"?

If you are a wise man, you will learn from him. Watch him. Observe him. Study him. Read him. In a way, become him.

Believe it or not, getting a woman is the ability to SELL. You have to show her why YOU are better than the other men.

7) Know this rule about women: A woman who truly likes you will MAKE TIME TO BE WITH YOU

A woman who truly likes you will never be too busy for you. Learn this now!

If a girl ever tells you that she's too busy for you, you better understand..women make time for men that they love!

8) THE RIGHT WAY TO TALK TO A GIRL

I think there is a lot of confusion on how to speak to women. Some people recommend pickup tips and pickup lines and things of the sort. There are literally hundreds and hundreds of books on the subject. But I've learned better. I've learned that it doesn't do any good to try to memorize lines to talk to a woman.

I've learned that the best way to attract a woman is to be interesting. Act like she knows you. Act like you know her. How do you talk to your friends? How do you talk to those who know you? Do you speak like that to her?

Well, you should.

The key is to act like you know her, but you want to add a tinge of sexuality. You don't want to be "just that friend".

You want to also show that you have some interest in her. Whenever I go to attract a woman, I act like she's an ex-girlfriend of mine - just show a genuine interest in her. I talk to her like I know her. But at the same time, I show her that I'm a bit playful. I let her know that she is a woman and I am a man.

The trick and the puzzle of women is that they've been conditioned to hear pickup lines.

They've been conditioned to think that the moment a man approaches them, they are looking for sex.

But when you come up to women and act like you know them, when you say, "Hi!" and you keep talking to her like you know her, she'll feel a sense of ease and comfort.

And that is exactly how you should make her feel - when you make a woman comfortable, then you have completed the most difficult obstacle of all.

~h

More Thoughts on Cold Reading

This post deals with the idea of cold reading. Keep in mind that originality is the most important quality that you can convey to a woman - from the way you dress to how you approach the ladies and engage them in conversation.

On the other hand, when you fail to make a unique impression, she's going to automatically lump you in with the last 37 chumps who tried to buy her a drink - and within three minutes of you paying for her $12 cocktail, she'll be excusing herself to "go find her friend." As if her friend is lost somewhere in the nightclub, in desperate need of food and water..

The key to building a bond with her is to engage her attention and to get her to share information about herself.

Then you'll tell her how much you relate and establish rapport with her.

One of my favorite conversational tactics for accomplishing this is by using cold reads. This technique, which as I mentioned in my previous post is used to great effect by psychics and palm readers, is a way to make the other person feel like you understand what makes them tick, and what they're going through, without them directly telling you.

The trick with cold reads is that the "observations" you're making apply to virtually anyone. Yet there are psychological reasons why they work so effectively.

Human beings are self-centered, and we generally accept claims about ourselves that reflect how we wish to be.

Also, people are vain. We want to be seen as unique.

Even though cold reads are usually vague generalizations [which would apply to your Aunt Bernice, just as they would to the hottie partying with her friends at the nightclub], we want to agree with the person who skillfully "reads" us, and we'll believe they have unusual powers of perception.

So forget about asking the generic "job interview" questions - "So what's your name", "where are you from", etc.

Example: if I'm in a club, talking to some babe who's acting a bit hard to get, I'll bust out a cold read along the lines of:

"You know, HB, I get the sense that a lot of guys get the wrong idea when they first meet you. They think you're stand-offish and a bit cold. But you're actually a lot more sensitive, and funny, than people realize".

Another example: "I get the sense it takes you a while to trust people, because you've been hurt before by someone who was really close to you. But the people that do earn your trust, you would do anything for them".

Yet another: "I can tell that you're someone who usually plays it safe and doesn't take chances, but sometimes you've regretted it because you missed out an opportunity. But then other times, you're spontaneous and adventurous, and you do take chances..and that's when you've had some of the best times of your life" [this one is a good one to work in for SNL-style game].

If she agrees with one of these "reads" [and honestly, I've never had a woman flat-out disagree], I'll follow up by telling her that I can totally relate, because I'm the same way.

This builds a bond between me and her instantly. In order to solidify the bond, I'll tell a quick story - one that illustrates how I'm the same type of person [a good idea: if you've got five cold reads ready to use, you should also have five short stories to illustrate how you embody those same qualities].

A similar tactic is using "Barnum statements", named after the circus showman P. T. Barnum. These statements apply to just about anybody, but they give the impression that you're tapping into her inner psyche.

One of my favorites is "I can tell something has been weighing on your mind. You're on the verge of making an important decision in your life, aren't you?" This is a good one, because pretty much all of us, at any given time, are contemplating a big decision..or one that is big to us, at least.

Regardless, she'll be surprised and impressed that you knew that about her. She'll probably volunteer more information - and now you're engaged in a deep, authentic conversation instead of trying to fill awkward pauses, or drag her onto the dance floor.

Much of what a cold reader does is simply repeating back what the subject has said, as if he already knew the answer.

For example, if she affirms that she's on the verge of making a big decision, nod wisely and say something along the lines of, "Yes, that's right, and you're really having a hard time with it".

In other words, claim her answer as your own.

Some other examples of cold reads that are vague yet "profound":

"You have a strong need for others to like and admire you, but you also have a tendency to be critical of yourself".

"You've got a hidden talent, or a passion, that most people don't know about, and you want to pursue it..but something is holding you back".

"At times, you're really social and out-going. But other times, you're reserved and introverted".

Now that you understand the idea behind cold reads, you can make your own. Based on her vibe, the way she's dressed, and how she acts during the first few minutes of conversation, you should be able to use a "read" that applies to her.

Keep in mind that this is just one example of an original, thought-provoking conversational tactic. There's only so much I can squeeze into my posts, what with med school and all taking up so much of my time.

But I know it's helpful for you guys, and it helps me to get these thoughts and ideas out "on paper", helping me register them in my own mind more cleanly and clearly.

~h

Cold Reading

Cold reading is a technique often used by mentalists, fortune tellers, psychics, and mediums to determine details about another person in order to convince them that the reader knows much more about a subject than he or she actually does.

Even without prior knowledge of a person, a practiced cold reader can still quickly obtain a great deal of information about the subject by carefully analyzing the person's body language, clothing or fashion, hairstyle, gender, sexual orientation, religion, race or ethnicity, level of education, manner of speech, place of origin, etc. - check out some of Derren Brown's stuff on YouTube or Google video for a better idea of how this can be used in such completely unfamiliar settings or circumstances [especially the clip when he's in the club/lounge with 3 girls and exposes their inner thoughts or something].

Cold readers commonly employ high probability guesses about the subject, quickly picking up on signals from their subjects as to whether their guesses are in the right direction or not, and then emphasizing and reinforcing any chance connections the subjects acknowledge while quickly moving on from missed guesses.

Cold reading can also be used, much more importantly in my mind, to set and develop frames for people to fit into. This is a very beneficial use of cold reading. I have a few examples of this in some emails and texts that I've been sending out [check out my Some Text Messages and Mass Text Message posts from before], and I'll probably post some of those soon, to provide a better idea of this.

Also, I'll be posting some general as well as specific cold reading routines soon, so check back for them in the next few days :-)

~h

Some Points on Body Language Bouncing Around in My Mind

Simply try avoiding the most common mistakes that you have by watching your own body language. You should be replacing the bad movements with more confident movements. This will make huge difference in your interactions in set.

Here you will find eight of the most common body language destroyers that will leave your target unimpressed. You want to train your body to naturally avoid these harmful movements, and you’ll see that these simple changes can make all the difference in the world.

1. Avoiding eye contact
In a one-on-one conversation, do you glance to the side, down at your feet, or anywhere but your target? Ever catch yourself looking over the shoulder of the person you’re talking to?

This says that you lack confidence, nervousness, and incongruent with high value identity.

Next time, try keeping your eyes on your target. Spend 80% of the time looking into the eyes of your target. The majority of people spend too much time looking everywhere else but their target's eyes. Not surprisingly, most people can change this behavior instantly simply by watching a video of themselves. Powerful gurus look at their target directly in the eye when gaming.

*Exception - freeze outs, punishment for bad behavior.

2. Blocking: Allowing an obstacle to get in between you and your target
Another common mistake is putting something between you and your target. Closing off your body language like: crossing your arms, standing behind a podium or chair, talking to someone from behind them, or standing in between something and your target..all of which prevent a real connection from taking place.

Next time, try maintaining open body language, and make sure nothing is between you and the target. Keep your hands apart and your palms up, pointed toward the ceiling. Remove physical barriers between you and your listeners.

3. General Nervousness: Fidgeting, rocking or swaying
What it says about you is that you’re nervous, unsure, or incongruent. Fidgeting, rocking, and swaying don’t serve any purpose other than lowering your value. Let’s imagine for a second a top guru who becomes nervous because the target is unresponsive. He and his wings actually say they have the event under control, and they have learned valuable lessons from their failure.

But their body language suggests otherwise.

Next time, remember that the biggest problem is rocking back and forth as you deliver the routines. It reflects a lack of competence, control, and becomes unnatural. Eventually learning to move with purpose, you can and will avoid social suicide. The target will leave the venue confident that she will see you again and that you are congruent.

4. Hands in your pockets or clasped together
Keeping your hands stiffly by your side or in your pockets can give the impression that you’re uninterested, uncommitted, or nervous — whether you are or not doesn't matter; it's the appearance that will break your frame.

Next time, try taking your hands out of your pocket and use them for purposeful, assertive hand gestures. Engaging both hands above the waist is an example of a complex hand gesture that reflects complex thinking and gives the target confidence, comfort, and trust in you.

5. Standing or sitting perfectly still
Ineffective PUAs barely move, staying in one spot during an entire night. What it says about them, however, is that they are rigid, nervous, and boring; in other words, they're not engaging or social.

Next time, try to animate your body, not your slides. Walk. Move, jump, dance, grab a beer, whatever..anything is better than sitting still.

Most PUAs think they need to stand stuck in one place. What they don’t realize is that movement is not only acceptable, it’s welcomed. Some of the greatest PUAs walk into sets, and they're constantly moving with purpose.

For example, a guru will walk from one side of the room to another to captivate a target. This builds in false takeaways, freeze outs, and punishment for bad behavior. He will point to what he talks about, and he'll place his hand on the targets' shoulders instead of keeping the bodies distant.

6. Slouching, or being hunched over
Poor posture is often associated with a lack of confidence and can reflect, or be presumed to reflect, a lack of engagement or interest. What it reflects: you are not alpha, you lack confidence.

Next time, try keeping your head up and your back straight. You can roll your shoulders back to get into good posture. When standing stationary, be sure to place your feet at shoulder width and lean back [to show higher value] or slightly forward [you will look far more interested, engaged, and enthusiastic]. Pull your shoulders slightly forward as well — you’ll appear more masculine. Your head and spine should be straight.

Don’t use a tabletop or podium as an excuse to lean on it.

7. Using phony gestures
This says you that you’re over-coached, unnatural, or artificial. Use gestures; just don’t over-do it.

Research has shown that gestures reflect complex thought patterns. Gestures will leave your target with the perception of confidence, competence, control, and congruency. But the minute you copy a hand gesture, you risk looking contrived — like a bad politician.

Remember, do not use hand gestures that you are unfamiliar with. Also, try not to copy anyone else's body language; instead, straighten up your body language and stay congruent throughout the social interaction.

8. Jingling coins, tapping fingers or feet, & other annoying movements or sounds
What it says about you is that you’re nervous, unpolished, or insufficiently concerned with details. Use a video camera to tape yourself. Play it back with a crucial eye. Can you find annoying gestures that you weren’t aware of?

I once watched an author who had written a book on Pick Up. He couldn’t help but jingle the coins in his pocket throughout the entire talk - he certainly didn’t score points on the PUA scale.

Remember, nervous energy will reflect itself in toe-tapping, touching your face, or moving your leg up and down. It’s an easy fix..once you catch yourself in the act!

Dynamic and powerful body language will help you kick up the power of your pick up.

So be sure to work on your body language - pay as much attention to it as the words you use, and watch your game soar!

~h

Finding and Using Specific Venues with Built-In DHVs

Today, I'm tumbling some generalizations about pickup through my head to see what I come up with. Large brush strokes. In this vein, a lot of things can be said.

Your success or failure with women has no bearing whatsoever on your value as a human being.

Massive repetition of social interaction is the only way to develop a noticeably improved social intelligence.

Game is, fundamentally, the expression of your inner state, conveyed through the rhythms you use to direct the energy of the interaction.

These are all valid and valuable insights. But I am drawn back to the over-arching truth about pickup, which is as follows:

Always be cooler than the girl.

In other words, when you're trying to attract and captivate a woman, it's always about VALUE. Are you someone who she could gain value from being with? Ultimately, this is the main factor in her decision whether or not to hop in the sack with you.

Of course, the idea of "value" is largely subjective, meaning it can take many, many different forms and mean different things to different people.

It was these realizations that led to the development of the tactic called the "display of higher value", or DHV.

As you're probably aware by now, you need to look at any given pickup as a PROCESS.

After you find a girl you want to get to know, the first step is to OPEN her. This is basically the act of approaching and initiating a conversation.

After that, you need to HOOK the set, and hook it FAST. After you open the set, you have a very short window in which to generate some attraction and hook it, or else you'll end up with an interaction that goes nowhere.

There are many, many different ways to build attraction FAST, as is necessary when you want to hook a set. Out of all of these, the display of higher value may be the most effective of all.

There are many ways to go about this. You might do it by being very commanding and sure of yourself, controlling and directing the conversation, and showing a high tolerance to social pressure.

You might say something that shows you're very knowledgeable about a particular subject. It could just come from the way you're dressed and the way you carry yourself.

No matter how you approach it, a display of higher value is almost guaranteed to get the girls looking at you in a favorable light, one conducive to getting you L-A-I-D.

Based on all this, it kind of goes without saying that I'm always looking for an angle to go all DHV on that ass.

It was with this in mind that I STUMBLED upon a magical discovery: some VENUES are actually engineered with displays of higher value BUILT-IN.

Yes, that's right. There are certain settings and places you can go that, by their very nature, ensure you will come off as someone with higher value, if you know how to work it right.

As I said, I stumbled upon this accidentally in my early stages of development in the game. If you didn't know, I'm a "fan" of the ART of KARAOKE.

I try to get out there whenever possible, for the pure entertainment value it provides. Over the years, I've gotten pretty good at it, not just the singing part, but the whole stage presence, how to work the crowd, etc.

I like this stuff, because for three and a half minutes at a time, I can pretend I have emotions. Which is cool. Sort of.

Anyway, I used to go there just to "sing" and watch others "sing" as well. But after I started getting involved in the game, I started looking out for chicks in the venue that I could practice on.

What I noticed wasn't really that surprising, but shook my head up nonetheless: after I got up and sang, girls would throw me approach invitations like it was nobody's business. Sets would open like a hot knife through butter. The chicks would literally have stars in their freakin' eyes.
It's crazy..it's like the karaoke casts a spell that magically obscures the fact that I'm just a semi-drunk dude looking to get laid.

One chick even told me after we had sex, "I had to sleep with you. You sang one of my favorite songs!"

I'm like, "Uhhh... ok...? This is your SELECTION CRITERIA?" Whatever!

The point of all this is: I had a pre-existing hobby which I happened to excel at, and I discovered that it dove-tailed nicely with my new interest in pick-up.

In other words, I had a venue that held, for me at least, a built-in DHV. A niche market.

I've since found that the karaoke bar is a perfect venue for "day2s", or second meets with the girl after I get her phone number. I'm socially-proofed there, there's little or no competition to speak of, and I get the opportunity to project higher value on myself through my karaoke craftsmanship.

Note, I never make a big deal out of it, like, "Oh, we HAVE to go to KARAOKE, I LOOVE IT!" If I were to do that, it would make it seem contrived, like I plotted and planned this whole thing to impress her.

Instead, I throw it out real casually, as though it's just an off-the-cuff idea I had for a fun date.

Sometimes, I'll just tell them the name of the bar and have them meet me there without letting on what it is. Before I go up, I always downplay it, saying how much I suck, etc.

I'm not suggesting you go to the karaoke bar here. This ain't no American Idol. What I definitely WOULD recommend is that you try to hunt down niche markets that work FOR YOU.

Let me throw out some other examples to give you some ideas to brainstorm off of:

Salsa or swing dancing. Not my thing personally, but many people, including one of my boys, are into this stuff. If you can dance, these events are a great, fun way to show some value while getting physical at the same time. From what I hear, people hook up at these things ALL THE TIME, which makes sense - dancing is equated to sex, especially in a woman's mind. Something to consider.

Sporting events in sports that you're good at. This could be a softball game with your friends in the park. Hell, it could even be bowling or miniature golf, which has definitely worked nicely for me as a day2. It doesn't necessarily have to be anything very "cool"..as long as you're displaying value in the context of the activity, it has the desired effect.

I mean, come on..karaoke? Not really that cool, but trust me..it works.

Another idea might be an art show, if you're really well-versed in the ins and outs of that scene.

You get the picture.

One thing to watch out for, though, make sure the venue or event isn't TOO NERDY.

One of my friends is a big fan of this "Pub Quiz". You know what this is, it's like trivia night at the pub, with teams competing for prizes. The problem here is, it's usually completely devoid of hot chicks. The same warning would apply to things like Star Trek conventions and the like. Use common sense.

Anyway, this is an incredibly powerful concept that every aspiring pick up artist should leverage to their advantage: niche markets.

~h

The Lost Art of Flirting: Go After the Girl, and Attract Her to Get Her Chasing You

Flirting - we were all masters in nursery school. But as we grow older, we lose our artistic flirting perfection. For a moment, let's look back: let's remember flirting in its most basic form.

You may recall being in nursery school or middle school and playing games, like "boys vs. girls".

That was the game where you ran around after girls trying to "get" them, and then they tried to "get" you; meanwhile, both pretended they didn't like the opposite sex. It was a game of popularity, stamina, and confusion that involved a lot of running around.

This game is flirting at its most basic and instinctual level.

In all honesty, flirting now isn't much different than it was then, in nursery school: you tease a girl to get her to chase you, then you chase after her, then you switch back and repeat over and over.

As long as you don't lose the momentum of the game, eventually she will want to be your girlfriend.

Realize that there is no secret number of games, negs/pebbles, hoops, tests, or DHVs to make love happen.

In fact, these things are just names for the little pieces of the overall process of flirting, which loop on and on until you have intense attraction. Let's take a look at how each of these common terms fit into the "boys vs. girls" analogy as well as the overall dating game:

Push/pull: The idea of flirting; a tit for a tat; the concept of "boys vs. girls"

Disqualifier: Teasing [pushing/shoving away, or making them run after you - this is the whole "bet you can't catch me!" part of the "boys vs. girls" game]

Negs/Pebbles: Another form of teasing

Qualifier: Complimenting [pulling, or slowing down so they can catch you - because if they never caught you, it wouldn't be much fun to play]

DHV: Showing that you are cool through actions, words, or presence; this is done at any time, but is especially important early on [you have to be worth running after]

Test: A trap she has set up to prevent you from catching her; this must be handled/answered correctly, or you are thrown out of the attraction loop

Hoop: A type of trap you need to avoid

If you use these this information to play the game correctly, you will enter a loop of pushing and pulling. This is in essence a flirting loop, and it creates intense attraction. As you continue the loop, it gets heated up; when the loop is hot enough, you have to pull the trigger and take your interaction to the next level.

Here's to helping to connect the pieces of the puzzle so that we can all see the big picture easier than those who came before us. Good luck, and see you in the field.

~h

A Quick Word on Body Language

Question: how's your body language?

Besides being able to escalate, I'd say the second most important factor in your game is body language.

Unless you carry a body-length mirror around with you, you're probably not aware of how you look to others.

Even if you're doing a certain technique properly, for example, spreading your arms out, or standing up straight, or leaning against a wall to look "cool", you may be doing it with the wrong energy.

You see, good body language is not about a specific stance or "look." It's about the energy behind it.

For example, you can stick your chest out because you want to look confident, or because you feel confident.

These two energies are opposites.

And women can pick up on your energy.

If you are trying to have good body language, I can almost guarantee that you don't.

In fact, the more effort you make to have good body language, the worse it will be - you will come across as nervous and self-conscious.

Women have finely-tuned radar to pick upon this, because it says way more about a guy than anything he could say with his mouth.

That's why real game is almost impossible to fake - women are wired to pick up on "fakery."

For thousands of years, women had too much at stake to be duped by an insecure guy trying to look confident. If they mated with the wrong guy, they were screwed - literally!

Body language is one of the hardest things to fix on your own, simply because you can't see yourself all the time.

Most guys have bad habits when it comes to their posture, movement, eye contact, and pace at which they move and talk.

And it's the culmination of all these physical expressions that give a woman an overall impression of who you are inside.

It's who you are inside that actually causes women to become attracted to you.

Sure a cool shirt, good looks, and other purely visual cues can help.

But ultimately it's how a man thinks that attracts women to him.

Women can tell where your attention is at. Not because they are mind readers. They are just extremely perceptive of men's non-verbal cues. So maybe she doesn't know exactly what your thoughts are..but she can tell if you're nervous.

And this conveys that you a) place her on a pedestal relative to yourself, and b) you want her approval.

This is very weak and unattractive to women.

Ask yourself this - have you ever been in a situation where someone was supposed to be in control - maybe an authority figure or someone who was supposed to be an "expert" - and this person was tense, fidgety, and spoke fast and quiet.

You probably lost a lot of respect for him or her, and didn't give a lot of credence to what they said.

Now for women, respect and attraction are almost synonymous. A woman can only be attracted to a man she respects.

In fact, the feeling you have for a man you respect is the same feeling a woman feels when she's attracted to a man, only she also feels a biological drive to have sex with him - there's a physical response added to this "respect."

So how do you get someone to respect you?

Well we all know guys who are complete morons, but they garner respect - people look to them as an authority or leader.

Why?

Because of their non-verbal cues.

You see, these non-verbal cues say things about the guy that you can't directly observe.

A guy with calm, confident bodylanguage, a loud, slow voice, and strong eye contact is in effect saying, "I know what I'm doing. I'm in control. You can relax and trust me to lead you."

Think about how powerful that message is to anybody - let alone to a woman.

Now there's good news and bad news.

The bad news - you can't fake it. Women can tell, because there will be one small behavior you're not aware of that will give you away.

Maybe you will jerk your head too fast, or lean over a little too much, or stand with your feet too close together [or too far apart!].

Yup, she can tell if you're over-compensating, or hiding yourself out of fear [nervousness].

And this says, "I don't know what I'm doing. You're more important than me. I'm trying to look confident because I want you to like me and GIVE ME SEX."

Bad bad bad.

And no matter how smooth your conversational skills are, you will fall flat.

This can lead to a lot of frustration with guys who have worked really hard to be great conversationalists, and have memorized all kinds of lines and techniques.

They are still hitting a brick wall and continuing to struggle, because they have bad body language.

In fact, having good conversation skills with bad body language will actually make things worse, because the woman will simply think you're really good at faking.

She won't trust you.

This accounts for a lot of the flaking that women do with men. They hear his smooth words, but see shaky body language, and immediately don't trust him.

You have to be congruent.

And this brings me to the good news - women always believe body language.

So if you really are confident and focused on the right stuff, your body language will naturally handle itself. And she will be attracted to you.

It's that easy: focus on the right stuff, and your body language will align accordingly. Then, she will infer what's going on inside you - your confidence, your attitude, and your energy, and she will instantly feel attraction.

It's the most important thing, because A POWERFUL FOCUS NATURALLY LEADS TO A GOOD STATE, AND THIS WILL LEAD TO ATTRACTIVE BEHAVIOR.

And this behavior will always be congruent - your whole being will be aligned - because it stems from your core, who you really are!

If you are hitting a brick wall, despite the fact that you've read all the pickup theory out there, and have hundreds of approaches under your belt, you most likely have a body language problem.

And this is grounded in a FOCUS PROBLEM; remember, relax, be confident, and focus on the right stuff.

~h

Approach Anxiety, and How to Overcome It

Just now, I was sitting at my desk going through a few emails from guys with one common enemy.

Approach anxiety.

What exactly is approach anxiety?

It's the fear that suddenly floods your entire body when you think it's time to approach a woman that you like. It also paralyzes you to the point where it's hard to be yourself.

This enemy has more control over you than you think.

It controls your thoughts, your emotions, your feelings..and it manipulates you and forces you to do things that you don't want to do.

It robs you of the experience of meeting more women whenever you like.

The bottom line is that it's a big barrier that's standing in between you and your dreams of becoming more successful with women and dating.

..and if you don't do anything about it, things could get really UGLY.

On the flip side, without it, you can have the luxury to meet any woman you desire, anytime you want.

You have to learn how to overcome this fear, or you'll be living as it's prisoner every single day of your single life.

And it's not going to be fun.

I was once a prisoner of this fear. It ruled my life, until I found a simple way to slaughter this ugly enemy, and start meeting women confidently.

I'm about to share with you an easy way to break free from approach anxiety.

The best way to beat approach anxiety is creating "Approaching Behavior" - you need to train your body how to respond to the fear and anxiety you'll feel when you want to approach a woman.

For example, when you see a woman you want to approach, instead of walking away and not doing anything, start breaking the habit and DO SOMETHING about it.

You don't have to get her number.

You don't have to make her like you.

..you just have to do something about it.

You've got to create Approaching behavior.

You've got to train your body to respond in a way that will move you towards getting the girl and away from the fear that controls you.

If you're just starting out and you have IMMENSE fear of approaching women, then here's what you should do.

Start small and take baby steps, my friend.

Guys often ask me "What's the biggest SECRET to getting good with women really fast?"

My answer is simple - instant action.

If you want immediate results in your dating life, then you're going to have to take ACTION. You won't get good sitting on your ass and reading my cool-as-shit blog.

You've got to take these techniques and turn it into results, and you can do that by taking action, trying this stuff out in the real world.

Ask yourself this: what did you do the last time you saw a woman you wanted to meet?

Here's a plan to follow to make sure it doesn't happen that way again. Next time you see a woman you'd like to meet, follow these basic steps:
1. Walk up to her
2. Ask her a question
3. Walk away

Try to make it a daily habit to approach attractive women. All of this might seem simple but it's a giant leap from living in fear to breaking out of your shell and becoming confident.

This is the first step to developing the proper Approaching behavior.

When you do this you'll realize how easy it is to approach women and start a conversation.

You'll have a feeling of relief.

You'll tell yourself, "Man, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be!"

And it will bring you one step closer to becoming a confident man who can meet any woman, anywhere, at any time.

A skill that 99% of men out there don't have.

Trust me, after you've developed this super cool ability to meet women on demand, every single guy you know will be jealous and curious - jealous of your results, and curious to know how you did it.

~h

Vin DiCarlo, on Preventing Flaking

About 45 minutes or so of pretty solid content..check it out, here

~h

The Phone Text: A Very Useful Tool of Game, Part 2

Another nice long, info-packed post from El Topo, on texting:


Text Game Part 2

So now we get how to open a text and one popular way to initiate a text dialog.
So let’s describe a few things around that.

I you haven't read Part 1 of the Text Post go here!
http://the-red-mole.blogspot.com/2008/0 … art-1.html

Also find out more about Subpersonalitites in Shaft's Post as well, cause I refer to the idea quite a bit.
http://the-red-mole.blogspot.com/2008/0 … ities.html

The reason why Hot Cold works so well, is because it is an element of Push Pull. I would like to do a post on changes made to models of game, but there are a lot of posts I would like to do…getting to it is the real feat! But surely I will get to it!

The reason why Push Pull is such an important part of game it because it is something that pretty much every human and animal is responsive to. It is almost like people can’t help but do it.
Now you can’t say something like ‘Hey, you sweet cunt whore, how’s your day going?’ that may piss some people off (but if you make it work…let me know). But what you want to do with each aspect of Hot Cold/Push Pull is get them to invest a little bit in it.

How we get people to invest is through Qualification, Baiting, Framing, Compliance, Dominance and Logistics.

So those are the things we are going to talk about in terms of text. And again, I would like to do a post on my teaching method of breaking down your Tools of Game along with How to Implement those Tools, but again it will probably be a few weeks on that. It I could write as fast as I could think then my blog would be a goddamn encyclopedia! Should have taken a typing class!

So the important thing with text to think of is that it is only a small part of game. So your goals in text are to do a few things.
I always like to Bring out-
-A Subpersonality in it, and it is great for that.
-It is a good use of to begin Force Framing
-It is a great Calibration Tool
-Logistically I want to engage someone with some compliance, usually accepting roles or doing small tasks.
-Build Investment emotionally (now it is important to know text probably isn’t the tool to engage serious emotions, but more reactive and surface level ones. You need an orchestration of complete game to have it effect deep rooted emotions)
-And Logistically I want to set up a time to meet, with all those frames and subpersonalities to bring to the table.

So with that in mind, instead of saying, ‘You sweet cunt whore, how is your day going?’
You want to say things that your texts to follow some sort of path that will stimulate reaction to role into another text that will build a frame, to role into another one that will build compliance to your frame, that will role into one that will bait them into a subpersonality and all be fun and exciting to engage in.

You can hook a girl very easily to be that guy that she has a text war with on a daily basis. During debriefing I always ask women when they started to know they were going to sleep with me. If I have worked them through text they will always say something like, ‘I thought you were cool when we met (she might even say a little weird…hahahaha), but I really started to think about you in that way, when I would be at work thinking about what I was going to text you or when you were going to text me’.
So go figure, but it works, and even with text you can see yourself get sucked in with it too! Beware!

Using Bait in Text-

Although this is how to Bait using text, all of the ideas like Push Pull/Hot Cold, Baiting, Qualifying, Framing, Compliance, Dominance, and Logistics all kind fo work together. But in their subcategories I will mainly be highlighting the part which it is titled. In this case Baiting.

So the idea of Bait is a reactive one. It is something that is hardwired; people can’t help but respond to if done correctly.

So let’s start with some examples-

Shortly after the first few texts, maybe the second or third one in…

-‘So I am sitting in a waiting room, and I wonder if the people around me know what I am thinking about’

-‘Guess what I am thinking of right now, I just totally saw your twin and it set me off.’

-‘OMG the craziest thing just happened, I am totally in a weird head space right now’

-‘Even tho you like X ;-), I still think you’re…well maybe not LOL’

-‘I am totally bored, don’t even TEMPT me with those thoughts! ☺’

-‘You have no what I just saw, you would totally LOVE it, in that sort of BAD girl sort of way…LOL!’

Ok so let’s take a look at these. Now some of them are doing a few things here.
The first one-
-‘So I am sitting in a waiting room, and I wonder if the people around me know what I am thinking about’
What you’re doing is trying to bait them into a simple question. One being, ‘where are you?’ or Two being, “What are you thinking about?’For a while Sinn, Shaft and myself would always ask two questions, or give two things to respond to in our texts to calibrate. We don’t so much anymore, but it is a great tool to use. Now with either answer you can go somewhere.
But the one that shows she is more likely to quickly accept a frame over text is if she answers anything about what you are thinking. Reason why is because if she answers that she is curious about something that leaves a huge door open to.
An office space is pretty mundane, what someone thinks that might offend the ‘norm’ hanging out in the office can be something pretty interesting, well if you’re a PUA.

So if she says ‘Where are you?’ no big deal, you text back something like,‘Trust me you don’t want to know, but these people are freaks! Totally your crowd ☺’
or
‘The funny thing is that, I am normally really into bizarro things, but I usually need a wing, next time I am bringing you! And you’ll never guess…’

So let’s take a look at a few more breakdowns…
-‘Guess what I am thinking of right now, I just totally saw your twin and it set me off.’
When I took my BC Sinn told me Future and him used the father text of this…’OMG I totally just saw your twin’ to calibrate how quickly a girl would reply. If she replied quick it meant you could begin with likely fruition on your text/phone journey.
So then we added a little more to it. Mainly because we wanted to see what she would reply too and our Bait was then more voiced to lead towards curiosity on what we are thinking. It may hook it may not. So in the first two texts a good thing to point out is asking two questions in the same text.
We will touch on that later.
But our Bait is always leading to a frame or subpersonality, or maybe even something else.

So it is best to get a response about ‘what you were thinking’ but you may get a response on the ‘twin’ part. The main thing is this will get a likely response. And you should probably use this text as a opener as well or the first text in a new exchange with someone you have been texting. It leads very well into some tactical conversations.

Replies to the twin part might be…
‘Yeah I was totally excited at first, but didn’t have that wicked side to here. LOL!’
‘And you should have SEEN the look on her face when I snuck up from behind, butt I think YOU could have handled it! HAHAHA!’

Replies to the thinking part might be…
‘All I got to say is….bad girl! LOL :-D!!!!’
‘I was actually REALLY disturbed! I knew I remembered you…stay HOTT!’

So you get the idea with that. This would go on forever if I were to breakdown all of them, so let’s go to the next Implementation of the Tool…

Qualification in Text-

This is one that you can open a text conversation with, but to really use qualification you want to use it a bit later in the exchange, but it can be fairly impactive within 2 or 3 texts in.
But first let’s talk about Qualification.
So Qualification is a get way to get a lot of things. Lot’s of people go on and on about it and it is something that many discussions can be had about it.
Most of those discussions show its use in gaining investment in the group.
There is a great Audio Program out there that has Sinn and Vision going over Qualification. Most people say it is one of the best Audio Products out there. It is something that has a long history and has evolved quite a bit.

But here are its uses-
-Gain Value and Compliance (throughout your set) towards Value. Build investment essentially, through a ladder of Qualifiers or establish your value, to make her feel the need to invest her Emotions or work up to your Value.
-Calibrate where you are at in set. So it was said many a times by Future in many Seminar rooms (probably many other people too, but I can still hear Future saying it in my head) ‘Qualification is the Gateway to Rapport. This is because is was a good way to know you could enter Comfort and also it was a good way to transition into a Comfort base story. The funny thing is that Qualification is now used in Comfort (little bit of a different twist, but definitely Qualification, and it is the total LMR buster in Seduction. Qualification is thee way to Blast through LMR and is one of the Roots to the KFP.
-And the most neglected use of Qualification is that is defines where you go next in Set!
It is what you need to show which way you are going, and in Text this is important!
What I mean is let’s say you are talking about eating Bats in the Amazon your DHV story (and let me tell you I can go on and on about how misused DHV stories are in the community), and you want to transition out of it.
You can Qualify with,‘So what is something you have done that made you know what your passions were?’
With that you can then talk about your passions and hers and all that stuff. Good for building bonds and many, many other things.

But let’s say instead you talk about eating Bats in the Amazon and transition out with…
‘So what’s the craziest thing you have ever done?’
No this can go a little more sexual… both can but with this you are using Bait to take the set somewhere into a more racy territory.

Both Qualifiers are good, neither one is better, depends on where you are in the set and where you want to go. And the Qualifier tells you where to go. That to me is a pretty important use to negate. So USE IT!

Some examples of text for qualification might be…

Opening Text with a Qualifier-

-‘So what is your favorite Karaoke song! ;-)’

-‘So wait, you always pick up guys, when they are DRUNK!’

Again opening with a qualifier is pretty weak use of a qualifier, but be creative and fun with it and it will work.


A few Texts in-
Think about if they fall into one of your Baiting texts you can empower it with your Qualifier.

-‘Jezz! You really do have a WILD side don’t you?’

-‘What kind of girl are you…really? I mean you didn’t really put that off when I met you, but go figure! LOL’

-‘So you are really starting to make me wonder, who taught you your text etiquette?’

-‘I am not sure if I really know about you yet… are you one of those girls that doesn’t always play nice…’
So you can see from this that the qualifiers really do have somewhat of a Baiting element to them too. They are also the beginnings to Frames, Compliance and bringing out that subpersonality.

Remember Qualification is a tool to progress on in the right direction!

And that will take us to….

Compliance through Text

Now here will probably be one of the more rich parts of the post, because it will map out how you need to text (the flow of text or the rhythm). Compliance does a few things…
But at its fundamental it brings out repetition in the target working in a certain direction.
Normally I bring up Framing before Compliance, but I will lead with compliance here to better describe Framing later.
Normally compliance is just thought of as getting a girl to do something for you. This alone is super effective. In fact I remember on a Workshop in Hawaii, Tyler Durden spent about 20mins describing to a student what Compliance was, and this opened my eyes to a larger field of it. Also Shaft can talk, and I mean talk about the importance of Compliance in all forms of Game.

But other than getting someone to do tasks, you can build a Qualification ladder with Compliance, you can build frames with Baiting someone by making them Compliant to your interaction with them, you can make someone fulfill a narrative that brings out a Subpersonality through Compliance. Basically you can use Compliance to get someone to follow your lead.
Compliance is the fucking shit, so see it as not just getting someone to fulfill actions, but also to be made to interact with you in a specific way that helps Frame them into your Subpersonality.

My example will be an exchange with breakdown of what I am attempting to do through Text. Here goes….

PUA- ‘You won’t believe what just happened! You should have BEEN HERE!’
Target- ‘?’
PUA- ‘Really that is ALL you can write ‘?’ I thought you spoke text…lol, are you sitting down?’
Target- ‘Yeah, I am at work, WHAT HAPPENED, is that better? ☺’
PUA- ‘This chick just totally went crazy at the store, I thought, I wish (target’s name) was here.’
Target- ‘I don’t know if I would have wanted too, what did she do?’
PUA- ‘Yeah, I am not sure if you would have laughed or joined in…’
Target- ‘That depends what it was she was doing’
PUA- ‘I still am not sure…either you’d be all over it or ur one of those PG 13 girls’
Target- ‘Wouldn’t you like to know?’
PUA- ‘That says it ALL right there! ;-)’
Target- ‘OMG, you are totally crazy… You might not want to know! :p’
PUA- ‘ME totally Crazy! F U!’
Target- ‘YES! And F U too ☺’
PUA- ‘That is sweet, but now you’re are totally making me wonder and now U won’t want to know… ’
Target ‘You couldn’t even imagine’
PUA- ‘Seriously, I have to drive now, so take it easy on me, you wouldn’t want to cause an accident now would you???’
Target- ‘Accident? That might be fun, good thing I am not there! Lol!’
PUA- ‘So now I am totally bored, entertain me… are you at work?’
Target- ‘Yes’
PUA- ‘And what are you doing?’
Target- ‘I am sitting at my desk answering my boss’ emails’
PUA- ‘Woman… really, I though you spoke text…how are you going to make me crash with THAT!’
Target- ‘HA! I thought I was PG 13’
PUA- ‘Ahh, we proved that you only are when you’re at the club, but at work I know what REALLY goes on!’
Target- ‘So dirty?’
PUA- ‘Actually it is one of the worst places that my mind wanders, just think if I was at work, my imagination would be corrupted even MORE by U! ’
Target- ‘You are a trip, I think you’re corrupting me!’
PUA- ‘Good cause later I may need your help, I have a crazy meeting I have to attend ☹…’
Target- ‘HA! We will see…’
PUA- Stop with that ‘we will see’ crap, you’re totally my text BITCH! Lol!’
Target- ‘Ahhh Text BITCH… couldn’t you come up with something else.’
PUA- ‘Yeah but, text me BACK….BITCH! by the way I am almost back and still no crash…’
Target- ‘CRASH BITCH!’
PUA- ‘You’re supposed to make me do that in another way…come on GET TO WORK!’
Target- ‘You’re too much. I can’t handle you…’
PUA- ‘That is what I thought! Lol. No really, what are you doing later, I will need someone to perk me up in a few hours.’
Target- ‘Why are you asking I thought I was your BITCH! Hahaha!’
PUA- ‘Jezz UR having way too much fun, maybe I should give you a whip so you can step it up’
Target- ‘I like whips’
PUA- ‘And I do too, but I don’t use them, I prefer using my hand!’
Target- ‘Now that depends, when and where…’
PUA- ‘Really, I think that you know WHEN and WHERE, unless you’re really more creative than me… and then I don’t want to know’
Target- ‘ That’s right BITCH!’
PUA- ‘Look woman, talk all you want, but I will turn you inside and out’
Target- ‘I am waiting…’
PUA- ‘And be waiting with a wheelchair cause you might need it’
Target- ‘LOL!’

Ok so this is a pretty common exchange.
No what you see in the first part of this, is a lot of baiting toward sex using really fun attitude. Text game is all Attraction being used as a door to open up different parts of her. This particular girl was not biting at first but still going along with it. This always suck, but if she is at least somewhat entertaining your ideas you can still press on very lightly. You always want her following your lead.
The whole time I am leading the interaction, and the whole time I am reframing her replies to what I want to see them as.
The more I can get her to follow my path of the narrative, the more I make her Compliant.
And the reason why I chose this exchange was because it took her a while to warm up and it was done without any breaks in the text, it all took place over one day.

So now I text saying, ‘BITCH I am bored TEXT BACK!’ and she does.You can also see the slow escalation of her turning more towards me. Eventually she does but it wasn’t immediate. The thing is that once they walk through enough of your doors (along with it being a fun interaction) they will ultimately continue on.
Compliance is something that can build your whole foundation to game.

For now that is all…

~h

Frustrated Lesson: Gaming at the Gym

Ok, I'm going to try to make this post as coherent as possible, and as chronological as possible.

And don't worry, I haven't forgotten about the vacation post - but what's done is done with that one, whereas this is an ongoing thing right now.

Alright, so I've been keeping up with the gym quite regularly, since I'm at home and have time to do so..much more than when I'm at school, at least. So I've been practicing some things in there, obviously more day-game-related, but it's still interesting stuff..some things I've picked up from others, other things I'm experimenting/experiencing first-hand.

The good thing about the gym is, you can build social proof [even over time], because most of the people are regulars, so you're bound to see the same people around more than once-in-a-lifetime.

Look at my situation: I'm only in town a few months out of the year, and yet when I go back to the gym, there'll always be people in there that I know, either working out or people who work there.

One such example is HBRedheadMILF. She doesn't seem to be MILF age, until you get up close to her and get a better look, or she drops hints about the timeframe of when she grew up, etc. Her face is cute, and her body is just wow - big breasts and a niiice ass..especially for a white girl ;-)

I had spoken to her maybe two or three times last summer, and I actually thought I'd made a bad impression on her. I was picking on her for her shoes [they were like hiking boots style], and her name was the same name as a character on one of my favorite comedy shows.

Well, when I got back into the gym this summer, I spotted her, but since I thought I'd made a not-so-hot impression with her, I figured I'd just play it cool and not really do anything..only to be surprised as hell when she came and grabbed me..literally, grabbed me by the arm, to ask me where I've been.

Not bad. What is bad, however, is that I'm not upping the interaction - I know she's into me, because last time we ended up talking for around an hour [maybe more], near the end of her workout and right at the beginning of mine. And all the signs were there..I just wasn't sure how to move to the close without it seeming to date-y..what I didn't think about, though, was that in a day game situation, it usually is a more direct style, so it's okay to "get together at such-and-such time to do this-or-that"..so next time we run into each other, that's the plan.

This lack of upping the interaction is the point of this post - just yesterday, I met not one but two HBs at the gym. One is HBSexyMexican, whom I've seen at the gym a few times a week this summer, and she's just got a siiick ass on her ;-) I've talked to her only once, in passing; she'd been eyeing me earlier one day last week and I smiled at her..later that day, she was using a machine I'd just been using, and she was looking at me, so as I walked by I gave her this look like "wtf" and told her "You stole my machine.." while waving a fist at her..then smiling

[remember to smile, dammit! I always forget that I can be intimidating, especially to a girl, especially at a place like the gym]

She was very positive, smiled back and apologizing in this sexy accent like "Ohh, I'm sorryyyyy ;-)"

I ran into her yesterday, and we chit-chatted for a while. We passed each other a couple times, smiling, then I told her that I was a little worried and started wondering about her and what happened. She asked "why, what happened?", and I told her "well you haven't been around, so I started thinking you're slacking off..and I was going to tell on you, get your membership cancelled, and have it transferred over to my account :-)"

I realized her English wasn't all that hot, but our conversation was still fine. It just goes to show that the actual words being used are not all that important; what is important, is voice tonality and body language, and of course, smiling. I also saw that she had 2 rings on her left hand, her ring and her pinky fingers; at first, I wasn't sure if the ring finger one was a wedding ring, so I was trying to just keep things casual..hence, just passing her and smiling the first couple of run-ins yesterday. [Once I saw it wasn't, however, I could've used rings-on-fingers as something else to talk about, since I realized she wasn't the best at keeping the conversation flowing; she tried, but she sucked haa]

And now, the frustrating one..

The other girl, or rather woman, I met yesterday at the gym, was this chick I'd seen around there every now and then, back in the day, like last summer, maybe even before that. She's light-skinned black woman, who almost looks like she could be mixed; in fact, she reminds me of an older version of HBTyra..like, a lot, even in her mannerisms. I'll call her HBBlackMILF.

I was soo distracted by her yesterday, while she was first running on a treadmill, then doing one of those elliptical/stairmaster-style machine that forces girls to sway their hips from side-to-side in a very mesmerizingly sexy manner. Add to it the fact that she's very much in-shape, meaning the hour-glass figure with nice breasts, a narrow waist, and a simply amaaazing ass stuffed into black spandex pants.

Like I said, it was very distracting.

So I told myself that any chance I get, I'm going to talk to her..despite having seen a ring, on her left ringer finger. It was hard to tell if it was that kind of ring, though, because it looked kind of flat, instead of having a diamond jutting out of it. But no harm in talking, especially now that I've got a sort of default opener for the gym that applies to the situation of working out, and it's unisexual as I've used it on my guy friends before. And it usually goes over well, too, with only a few people reacting in a neutral/negative manner.

And this is exactly how I approached HBBlackMILF: she was on this triceps push-down machine, just sitting there, so as I walked by on my way to get water [it's much better to NOT carry a water bottle with you at the gym, because then you can take water breaks..and to do so, you need to walk to and from the water fountain :-)], I slowed down and stopped in front of her, over-the-shoulder, "You know [wait for acknowledgement..in her case, she apologized for being lost in space], that machine..it works better..if you push down..like this..[gesturing with my arms]".

So, it goes like this: "[smile a little] You know..the machine/it works better when you ____..[bigger smile]"

Obviously, it can only be used when the girl is chilling somewhere, either on a machine or free weights or whatever..not cardio..not when she's actually lifting..and not while she's walking around. There are other ones for that, and in fact, this one can be tweaked to apply to those, as well..for example, walking around can be made out as her slacking off or not using the entire gym properly. Whatever. But, this specific one usually works better when the girl is at a machine, during her break or something.

Well, HBBlackMILF started cracking up, and then picked up the conversation from there about how she's just kind of tired and being lazy. And I told her "You can't be slacking off, because here I am, finishing up a set and getting some water, walking by and seeing you just sitting there..it kind of kills the motivational pump. You should be going at it and keeping it going, not deflating my mission here!" And she laughed, telling me that I'm right and she's going to get right on it, "and next time when you come through, you need to make some noise or clear your throat, so I know when you're coming and I'll get started!" And I told her I'd bring like a whole parade through with me, just to make sure she knows I'm coming.

And we went on for another minute or so. I did the usual good-response = turn-to-face-her. I also made sure to say the last word and start walking off before she got started on her set, so that I'm non-needy. She kept responding each time, though, so finally I just replied to her as I walked away.

I saw her watching for me after that, especially as I started coming back her way the next time. And so she started working, and I made really, really, really loud coughing sounds, to the point that a few people started looking at me, and she was cracking uuuup. She said something, and I said something back, but I didn't stop this time. I knew I was almost done with my workout, so I figured I'd talk to her afterwards. This way, I come off as non-needy, she sees that my plan is to work out not pick up chicks at the gym so she feels special because I don't just talk to any and every chick, and she'd probably be on some other machine and thus provide a mini-bounce, which helps the whole time-distortion effect to make it seem like we've been talking much longer, and therefore we know each other much better, than if you stay in the same spot and talk.

So, when I was done, I busted on her again for slacking when she was on the lat pulldown machine, and then we just started talking, for a good while [not sure how long]. She told me about how she's trying to get in shape because she's gained weight, and I told her that in all honesty, she looks fine, and that I actually think she looks pretty sexy. We went into that for a bit. She explained to me how she wants her body to look, and even stood up and showed me [I had to literally bite my lip clench my fists not to react when she put that riDICulous ass in my face..FUUUUCK!!].

Then she told me she's a teacher, so I told her she'd be the teacher that I totally had a crush on, and I'd like bring her an apple every day. By this point, she'd already told me her name, in true girly fashion by imbedding it into something she'd told me [it was like "So I told myself, HBBlackMILF, you really gotta.."]. At this point, she asked for mine, and then told me "I'd say, Hrithik, sweety, you've brought me like 10 apples already, and I'm not eating them..you need to get the idea.." [I'm thinking, 'fuuck..'], then she goes on with "..I don't want the apples..bring me something else..like..Snicker's bars..haha".

Perfect opportunity to escalate kino ;-)

I'm like "Whaaat? You like Snicker's?? That's awesome!" and do the ol' hug-n-hold on her. And she's loving it, even without understanding why..

..because she wanted the kino, regardless ;-)

But I explained to her how I love Snicker's, and I go to like Sam's Club and buy those big 48 count boxes of the king size ones.

I repeated this process like 20 seconds later, when she revealed that she loves Mountain Dew. I also would let her know where she stood on my qualification meter, telling her how she started off neutral, but then plummeted for sucking and being so lazy, but now is sky-rocketing because of her love of Snicker's and Mountain Dew. I brought this same thing back up again later, when she said something about if there's no Dew at a restaurant, she gets blahblahblah, and I just looked at her funny, like "uhoh..", and she reacted immediately [nice way to gauge her interest/investment in impressing me, huh? ;-)].

She asked me, "what..??" And I told her she was dropping, and she goes "Oh man I'm plummeting again, aren't I??" and I told her "No, no, not that bad; you just dropped a couple notches..but you still love Snicker's and Mountain Dew, so we're still good! haa"

She assumed I had kids, and this is where I made my first mistake. I should've realized that she must have kids, to be asking about them; even if that weren't true, at least give a positive explanation. Instead, I told her that I don't have any, and then explained that my little brother and I have such a huge age gap of like 10-11 years that since I've done so much in raising him, I don't plan to have any kids anytime soon..EEEGGHH!! WRRRONNNNGG [sigh]..oh well, I plan to bring it up again another time and correct this with something about how I love kids, and they love me, and I want to have kids as soon as possible, but I just haven't found the right person yet..then look at her with sexy eyes :-)

She asked me how old he was, but I was not going to give her an idea of my age, just in case..and since she'd asked if he was like little-little, I used that and was like "no no no, not now, I'm talking back in the day..". So she went on to tell me about her 2 kids: 8-year-old son and 5.5-year-old daughter [but no mention of a husband], and so I still managed to salvage any negative impression by Awwwing and laughingly remarking at how cute that is at every chance I got.

She also failed to mention any husband-like figure when talking about taking her kids to New York in mid-July..so that's good..but I'm still not sure how I feel about that ring on her finger, since I couldn't get a closer look, especially now with her workout gloves on.

So mistake number two was in the fact of not escalating to get some kind of a close on her. Especially because she was talking about taking her kids out to dinner later, and we joked about me popping up and watching what she eats, etc. That could've been a good opportunity to either 1) playfully asking if she was asking me out on a date, or 2) inviting her, with her kids, out to dinner with me and my siblings to Dave & Buster's.

And mistake number three is the big one, today, that is causing alllll of this frustrated lesson to come out - she'd mentioned that today she was going to work out in the morning. We'd also talked about 2-a-day workouts, once in the morning and once in the afternoon. And there was my reason for being in the gym, by chance, this morning.

I told myself last night that if I got up, and if I was feeling it, I'd go to the gym and only do cardio. I woke up, alarmless, ~7:30am. What the fuck? So I figured, I have to go, it's some kind of a sign.

And she was there. On a treadmill, and I was again mesmerized by that ass. However, I felt kind of awkward, being there in the morning since she'd told she was going to be there in the morning. I should've ignored the feeling and acted natural, but it was easier said than done for me, and I didn't talk to her right away.

No big deal, I'll talk to her later, right?

I never did. And as I waited for "the right moment" to approach her, time slipped away, and so did she - I saw her as she was leaving, and I was just wrapping up doing some abs. I was, and still am, soo pissed and frustrated, especially because now, if she thought it was weird or awkward for me to show up then, she'll definitely be thinking it even more, since I didn't diffuse it or say anything to her, I just showed up when she was there. "By chance", my ass.

What makes it worse is, I already knew what I was going to say, and even worse is the fact that I was also going to use this opportunity to make up for mistake #2 and either get a number or invite her out tonight/tomorrow night with me and my sibs. And I don't know if I'm going to try to go again in the morning tomorrow, since I'd joked with her about whether she could imagine me getting up on a Saturday morning to work out after going out Friday night; if I show up, it might be weird..again. She'd also told me she goes Sunday mornings, too, but I'd acted all like "Whaat? You workout on Sundays, too??", so that might be even worse to show up for.

Fuck, fuck fuck fuck

So, the Frustrated Lesson: don't wait for the perfect opportunity, make the perfect opportunity yourself.

~h