Going Out Alone, Kinoescalation Tips, and Getting the Phone Number

I was taking a break from studying Micro, when I started thinking [a lot] about HBAmazon, whom I've been seeing at the most inopportune times lately, and finally had a perfect opening..if only I'd seen it [or rather, her] on Friday - and it [or rather, she] is obviously still on my mind.

And then, my roommate apparently couldn't not run into her today, studying near her at the library, and then ending up at the gym at the same time as her, too - and as luck would have it, he didn't take his cell phone with him the whole day, so he couldn't hit me up to let me know that all of this was going down..awesome



Anyways, I started thinking about how I need to close this [as in, I need to, and how to go about doing so], and these ideas started flying around in my head.

For example, we have exams coming up in 2 weeks..but most other terms don't. Am I going to have people to go out with? Should that even be an issue?

I personally kind of like going out alone. It's less hassle getting everything organized, you don't have to wait for your friends to get there, you don't have the distraction of standing around talking to your buddies, and it's a great feeling to leave your house alone and come back with a beautiful woman. It also makes approaching WAY easier because if you don't approach you're just standing around by yourself, which is not particularly fun.

When I first started going out alone, I always felt like EVERYONE in the bar knew I was there by myself and was judging me for it. So one night I decided to do an experiment. I went to a bar and stood in the middle of the bar by myself, not talking to anybody. I was fully expecting people to give me dirty looks or make comments, but nothing happened. Then the next night I went out alone again and this time did a bunch of approaches, I was sure every group was going to ask me where my friends were. And it never happened. Because people really don't care. The biggest hurdle to going out alone is getting over the feeling that people will think you're less cool for being out alone.

Ok so let's look at some things that can be done to fix that worry or fear.

1. Getting in the batter's box. This is something a buddy once said to me that has always stuck. He said the hardest part of going out alone is getting yourself going. I know how it is, you're sitting around your house debating with yourself about whether to go out or stay in. You list all the reasons for and against going out, flip through your phone looking for girls you could call to come over, etc.. But what if instead of that, you simply started to get ready. While you're debating with yourself, hop in the shower, or shave or pick out an outfit for that night. This will help get the ball rolling and then once you're clean, shaved, dressed etc..you'll feel like you have to go out.

2. Approach the first girl you see in the venue. Nothing kills your state when you're out alone faster than standing around with a drink in your hand. So instead as soon as you walk into the venue, start talking to the first girl you see. If there aren't any girls in the bar yet, then talk to the first guy you see. A lot of guys underestimate the power of being talkative. The more of a talkative mood you're in, the easier it will be to approach.

3. Set a certain number of approaches you HAVE to do. It doesn'thave to be overly ambitious, but make sure that you set a goal for the amount of approaches you have to do and don't let yourself go home until you complete them.

4. Establish a home base. This is one of the best and easiest things to do when you go out by yourself. A home base is where you're going to be when you are in between approaches. You don't want to be standing by yourself, so you make friends with either a group of girls you're not interested in gaming or a group of guys. Then you periodically check in with them throughout the night when you need a break or there aren't any girls you're interested in approaching.

Remember: going out alone is either normal or weird based on how YOU feel about it.

So now, let's say you're out and talking to a girl you're interested in. YOU MUST START TOUCHING ASAP!

It doesn't matter if you're not comfortable touching girls. That's fine, I was not a naturally touchy guy either.

So what I did was I came up with a simple structure to guide my touching. It went like this:

1. Playful touching - This is stuff like playfully shoving her, flicking her on the arm, patting her pompously, etc..this is the stuff that happens early on. With touching the earlier you do it, the more you will seem like a naturally touchy guy.

2. Hand touching - This is stuff like high-fives, thumb wars, playfully slapping her hand, and so on.

3. Arm in arm - This will happen as you're qualifying girls. She says something you like, you take her hand, place it on your arm and say "That's all you get". You can also do this when you're moving a girl by asking her if she's the romantic type and holding your arm out for her to link through.

4. Arm around - This is another reward type of touching. She says or does something you like, so you pull her in by her waist. There's an easy way to tell if she's attracted here, because she will put her arm back around you if she likes it.

5. Hand holding - The best way to hand-hold, is to suggest moving and then holding your hand back for her to grab.

6. Kissing - There's a variety of ways to kiss, but my soon-to-be favorite is what's called "The Almost Kiss". This is where in the middle of talking to her, you stop and say "I'm sorry, I'm having a really hard time talking to you, becauseI keep thinking about kissing you. But I understand we're not ready for that yet. So we're going to do an almost kiss. We're going to get really close, but you're not allowed to kiss me and I'm not allowed to kiss you. If you kiss me, it will ruin all trust in our relationship". Then you lean forward and get as close to her lips as you can without touching them. Then you push her away and go back to talking. 5-10 minutes later you can go back in for another almost kiss, at which point the girl will almost always kiss you.

The key with touching is that you have to act like it's the most normal thing in the world.

Ok, so now let's say things have progressed even better, and you need to get her number [i.e. no SNL in this case :-p].

Something to keep in mind: women give out their phone numbers all the time. The phone number isn't worth the paper it's written on, or the phone it's stored in. Sometimes women will even give you their phone number to get rid of you. This isn't the seventies when a phone number meant something. Every girl who has a cell phone, has caller ID..and she can pretty much avoid any guy she wants to, and guess what - she may want to avoid you.

The major mistake most guys make here, is not setting up a date. Getting phone numbers and agreeing to "see each other again sometime" are stairways to heaven. Instead what you want to do is suggest an activity at a specific time and place that you guys can do together. This could be as simple as mentioning how you're going to a comedy show this Thursday early in the conversation, and then bringing it up again and inviting her when you want to get her phone number. By making her commit to a certain time and place, you will see if she's actually interested or if she's just being polite. For example, this way she can say "I'm sorry I'm busy that night..", and if she doesn't suggest alternative plans, you know you have a potential flake on your hands.

Now there are a few other mistakes guys commonly make, as well. First is waiting too long to call her. On a cold approach, you want to call the very next day. The reason being, she doesn't have a whole lot invested in you, unlike a guy in her social circle, whom she'll have to see again.

Then there's waiting an ungodly amount of time to follow up if/when she doesn't call you back. Forget all the "3-day rules" and "5-day rules" you hear about; you want to keep following up every day or other day until you either get her on the phone, or you get distracted by all the other girls you have in the pipeline. You do have other girls in the pipeline, right?

Remember, this is the real world, and not every girl that you think you have a connection with is going to call you back.

The solution is to go out [alone if need be] and meet more women.

~h

I Love Vivica Fox

and she was, at least at the time of this interview, single - for me to snatch her up..


~h

Always Remember to Have FUN - It's the Ultimate Attraction Switch

A reminder from Sinn on the importance of fun:


~h

Sinn on Attraction Frames

First, a quick intro on Frames, in general:


And now, the Attraction Frames:


~h

Is This How YOU Game?

I hope the answer is no


And, always beware the basic pitfalls of gaming..


~h

Cold Reading

Cold reading is a technique often used by mentalists, fortune tellers, psychics, and mediums to determine details about another person in order to convince them that the reader knows much more about a subject than he or she actually does.

Even without prior knowledge of a person, a practiced cold reader can still quickly obtain a great deal of information about the subject by carefully analyzing the person's body language, clothing or fashion, hairstyle, gender, sexual orientation, religion, race or ethnicity, level of education, manner of speech, place of origin, etc. - check out some of Derren Brown's stuff on YouTube or Google video for a better idea of how this can be used in such completely unfamiliar settings or circumstances [especially the clip when he's in the club/lounge with 3 girls and exposes their inner thoughts or something].

Cold readers commonly employ high probability guesses about the subject, quickly picking up on signals from their subjects as to whether their guesses are in the right direction or not, and then emphasizing and reinforcing any chance connections the subjects acknowledge while quickly moving on from missed guesses.

Cold reading can also be used, much more importantly in my mind, to set and develop frames for people to fit into. This is a very beneficial use of cold reading. I have a few examples of this in some emails and texts that I've been sending out [check out my Some Text Messages and Mass Text Message posts from before], and I'll probably post some of those soon, to provide a better idea of this.

Also, I'll be posting some general as well as specific cold reading routines soon, so check back for them in the next few days :-)

~h

"The Pick Up Artist, Season 2 Is a Go!" -Mystery, and Mehow's Ass Slap Group PureKino Routine

Check it out, a little after 5.5 minutes into the video:




And here's the Mehow PureKino Ass Slap routine:



~h

Sinn's Video Blog

~h

Sinn Speaks

~h

Sinn Speaks..

Part I


Part II


~h

Captain Jack's Sticking Point Analysis [Parts I & II]

Part I


Part II


~h

Qualification/BHRR: Straight from the Mouth of the Man Himself - Mystery

~h

Should Study, Buuut .. Procrastination's a Bitch!

I realized something just now: being not only in school, but being so far geographically from the U.S. as well as being in a 3rd-World country really puts me out of touch with a lot of things! Such as the start of the NFL season..we're approaching now Week 2, and I don't even know what the hell's going on!! Plus, I have to get online to find, either on YouTube or VH1, the latest episode of The Pick Up Artist .. oh, well, I guess it's part of the whole sacrifice of being in med school..

So, check this out: I run into HBGottaBeMixed earlier after class in the cafeteria, sitting with a friend of hers..and I know I'm looking like the shiiiit - I got my hair looking fly, pimp clothes, and of course, my PIIIIIMP-AS-FUUUUCK shades..!! I walk right by, scoping the scene on my way into the store right there. The chick ringing me up is kind of cute, a little short, but with humongous boobs - awesome! Warmed up real quick with her, and then rolled back out..

I spot a couple of friends of mine at a table at one end, so I go over to chit-chat..and of course, it helps social-proof me to HBGottaBeMixed at the same time: win-win situation! As I wrap up with them, I start walking over and spot another chick [I can't really figure her out, because I know she's all into me, but she has a bf and seems like the loyal kind..we'll see how things play out!], I'll call her HBBrandy [she's black and has an incredible resemblance to the singer, and that's the only reason she won out..otherwise, she was about to be named HBCarleton, being black but also from the ritzy-ditzy part of LA, she's as mentally blonde as they come], sitting right next to HBGottaBeMixed..

h - "Heyyyy..!" {smile}
HBB - "Hey!!" {huuuuuuge smile, teeth popping out of her mouth}
h - "blahblah"
HBB - "hahah blahblah"
h - "Oh, you're on the phone .. well, I'll let you get back to that .." [non-neediness, both to her and HBGottaBeMixed]
HBB - "Oh..o-okay, sure..cool! haha"
h - {passing behind HBB's chair to get to HBGBM} "Whaaat's up?"
HBGBM - "Heyy!!"
h - "blahblah"
HBGBM - "haha blahblah"

..and we fluff for a bit, she invites me to a party tonight, which I tell her I can't go to because of my major quiz on Monday, and she draws out tears down her face, telling me that I should be going, etc, and how she was planning on me going, etc, and I ask her, "You're going..?? And you didn't even invite me??????", to which she was hardcore qualifying herself, so I stretched it out but knew that in the end, she was going to receive an IOI - plans to chill with me next week for sure [and of course, she was totally down..d'uh!]. From there, we continue fluffing and exchanging a bunch of sub-communicated IOI's:

HBGBM - "IOI"
h - {move shades off of face and up onto forehead}

..as well as IOD's for..well, whenever I felt like throwing them in for good measure - microcalibration + some hard-to-get:

HBGBM - "blahblah"
h - "Mhmm.." {shades slowly come back down}
HBGBM - "Ugghh!! :-O haha"

h - "start C's vs. U's"
HBGBM - {hides teeth while still smiling, but less} ".." [doesn't bite]
h - "Hmm .. haha .. {quizzical/'interesting' look towards her mouth} .. hmm .. haha" {body-rock away, towards HBB}

..Bait-Hook-Reel-Released:

h - "Hmm..I don't know about this whole popped-collar thing you got going on.." [note: I HATE popped collars..I could go on forever on that shit, but that's not the point of this here]
HBGBM - "Ugh..I think I can pull it off..it looks good on me! blahblah.." [qualifying herself]
h - "Wellllll..I guesssss..I mean, it looks aiiiight.."
HBGBM - ":-D See? Yeah, exactly!"
h - "..well, it definitely looks better than whatever you had going on the other day! haha" {mischievous/playful look}
HBGBM - "Ughh!! hahahaha"

..and of course..TONNNNS OF KINO!!! And a bunch of other stuff happened [my memory is quickly fading on me here..one thing, I brought up the whole "birthday hug, kiss, present, interest..and then one!" from before, and she began qualifying herself pretty hard ("I want to make it very special and unique for you!!"), so I busted on her, to make sure it was genuine instead of just playing, plus this way, I can actually push it enough that it becomes more and more serious in her own mind], but basically doing my best to practice catching all the different things and realizing exactly what they are and what they represent, and in turn what all that translates to and what it then means for me in terms of what I need to do next..oh, yeah! So, this whole time, HBGottaBeMixed has been sitting with her friend, right? Guess who's been not only compelely left out of the convo, but after a couple of minutes, completely closed out of it?? Yup, her friend..HBGottaBeMixed hadn't spoken a word to her the whole time since I'd shown up [the tell-tale sign: the girl was literally fucking around on her cell phone!], and then after a couple minutes had passed, HBGottaBeMixed crossed her legs [facing me] and turned her upper body to face me..awesome! Other random examples:

HBGBM - "IOI"
h - {high-5s}
HBGBM - "IOI"
h - {high-5s, hand-holding}
HBGBM - {continues holding}

HBGBM - "IOI"
h - {hug}
HBGBM - {sits up and accepts hug}
HBGBM - "IOIs"
h - {more hugs}
HBGBM - {leans up, full hug back}
h - "Qualify?"
HBGBM - "DHV"
h - "Qualify? Grounding story -> DHV story [protector of loved ones, loyalty, alpha male qualities, etc]"
HBGBM - "DHVs + IOIsss"
h - {tighter/longer hugs + beaming face}
HBGBM - {hugs back, both arms}
h - {wrap other arm around her, leaning down into her} "Man, you're soo awesome! I totally love you!! You're soo great!"
HBGBM - "hahah blahblahblah!!" {LOVING it}
h - {release hug after a minute} - "Man, it sucks we don't see each other around more.." [seed is planted..]
HBGBM - "I know..! It's great like this!"
h - "Yeah, definitely"
HBGBM - "sighhh But I very much cherish our little time we get like this..!!" [jokingly exaggerated, of course]
h - "I know, you should! ;-) And just imagine, when we get a chance to really chill, we've got soo much in common..it's great!"
HBGBM - "I know, it'll be awesome!! Just hit me up, like I said, gimme a call when you're ready to!!"
h - "Sounds good..next week, after my quiz.."
HBGBM - "Yes! Definitely!"
h - "Have fun tonight..but not too much fun.."
HBGBM - "Yeah.."
h - "I mean, you can't anyways, since I won't be there..haa"
HBGBM - "Exactly! Of course"
h - "We can't have you having too much fun, so that I move from the front of your mind, here {touch forehead} to here {an inch away from previous spot} - I'll still be in the front of your mind, but even that little bit of move..nooooo haa"
HBGBM - "hahahahh No way!! Can't even happen!! I won't have any fun like that"
h - "Good..have fun..but just enough to make it worthwhile to have gone out in the first place!"
HBGBM - "hahah perfect! Sounds good - I'll do that!"
h - "Cool"
HBGBM - "And good luck to you..study hard!"
h - {hold hands together} "Yes, ma'am..will do!" [sarcastic tone, of course! Make her feel a little like a dork, for not only telling me to study but also to have such a 'normal' generic thing to say]

..and the best part of this whole thing was: my merging of the 2 sets! I was psyched up, because I'd never really tried that before..but as this whole thing was happening, I realized that I could very much practice here and quickly decided 'no, I have to practice here, because otherwise I'll be complacent and never push myself to improve, much less actually improve'..plus, I kept in mind that, especially in this case, nothing bad would happen because 1) I've got enough Attraction [+Comfort] with these 2 girls that it won't really hurt anything if it doesn't work out, and more importantly 2) I'm a baller and will pull it off flawlessly [which, of course, I did haa]:

HBB - {finishes phone call, waiting for me to re-initiate}
HBGBM - "blahblah"
h - "blahblah"
HBGBM - "blahblah" [lamer..the convo had started to stale out, so I used this specific opportunity to pull a take-away so that she feels it on herself for bringing our convo down]
h - "Yeah.." {turn away to re-engage HBB}
h - "blahblah"
HBB - "haha blahblahblahblahblah" [this chick talks a LOT..like..you don't understand, she talks A LOT..]
h - "blahblah" {keeping a peripheral eye on HBGBM} "blahblah"
HBB - "hahahahah blahblahblahblahblah" [I apparently crack her uppppp, too]
h - "blahblah"
HBB - "haha blahblahblahblahblah"

..on and on and on like this, until a pause in the convo with HBB because it was staling out a bit..decide that this is the moment - not only will I re-ignite the convo, but I'll merge the 2 girls[thus directly displaying social-proof/pre-selection to both simultaneously, as well as including a direct, in-your-face Jealousy Plotline..nice] and re-initiate HBGBM [who's been ignored long enough, especially because she's just sitting there, trying to get her internet to work..and her friend already left her, and yet she remained..alone..yeahhh, I guess you can count that as an IOI haa]:

..
h - "Man, both of you are so bad..{start turning back towards HBGBM}..you got nothing better to do than screw around on your computers..?"
HBB - "hahah"
HBGBM - {chuckles, but not sure whether she's 'back in' yet}
h - "I mean, you're [note: "YOU'RE", not "SHE", to let HBGBM know that I'm directing it towards her, thus inviting her back in] just staring at your screen, and you're [same note, to let HBB know I'm not 'leaving' her for HBGBM] just looking at pictures..don't you guys have anything better to do?? Sheesh..!" [note for next time: they're talking to you .. don't use this/phrase it this way because it could be taken as a DLV, even if it hasn't thus far..]
HBB - [qualifies herself]
HBGBM - [qualifies herself]
h - {mwaaahahhaha!! Hrithik rules!!}

..and from there, I just went about chit-chatting to both, turning from one to the other depending on which was IOIing vs. not, DHVing vs. not, etc:

HBB - "story about going to Vegas"
h - {interrupt} "When'd you go?? Because I {making sure HBGBM is still involved through my b.l. as well as verbal projection} blahblah"
HBB - "blahblah"
h - {interrupt again, making sure HBGBM is listening} "DHV about my trip in Vegas - loyalty with friends, pre-selection, socially-calibrated, financially comfortable, etc"
HBB - "IOIs"
h - {high-5s, sharp kino-escalation}
HBB - "kind of DHV story, including pics, about her trip in Vegas"
h - "IOI"
Random Mutual Friend - "blahblah"
h - "blahblah"
HBB - "blahblah"
etc
h - {turn to HBGBM} "blahblah"
HBGBM - "haha blahblah"
[insert earlier interaction, from 'random examples' - mainly the last major chunk]
HBB - {interrupts} "Hey, are you going up to the top..?"
h - {ignore} "blahblah"
HBGBM - "haha blahblah"
[end of earlier interaction, from 'random examples']
h - {random hug, even more random whiff of her hair} "Whoa..hmm..mm.."
HBGBM - "haha ..?"
h - "Your hair .. hmm..smells.."
HBGBM - {self-consciously pats hair} "blahblah [about the smell]"
h - {ignore her, lean back in, smell top of her head} "It smells..really..good!"
HBGBM - "hahah yeah?"
h - "Definitely! It smells really great!"
HBGBM - "haha aww, thanks! blah"
h - "Yeah..I just like, want to take it..{lean in, hold some of her hair in my hand}..I just want to take it and put it in a bottle..just save the smell, take it from your hair, put it in a bottle, and then smell it whenever I want to, whenever I think of you or miss you.." [note: I act it out as I describe it, as though I'm able to do it right there..I think this has a stronger effect than usual, mainly because 'smell' is something you can't see but is still there, almost in an 'imaginary', 'invisible' way..and so acting as though you're catching her 'hair smell' is more 'believable'/realistic because of it]
HBGBM - "Awww!!!! Mmmmm!!! {struggling with words, but VERY OBVIOUS that she's FEELING a whole lot of shit at this point!!!!!} That's soooooo sweeeeeet!!!!!!!"
h - "Eh, yeah..I'm just saying..blahblah.."
HBGBM - "hahaha {CANNOT stop smiling/laughing like a little schoolgirl, + looking at me like I'm the greatest thing in the world has ever seen}"
h - "blahblah"
h - "You know..I'm really..resisting the urge..to hug you..one more time..before I go.."
HBGBM - {REALLY wanting it} "haha"
h - "..but I'll have to leave it, because otherwise I'll grab you, hug you, and then we'll be here forever..
HBGBM - "haha Exactly! blahblah should study and never will then and blahblah"
h - "Yeah, you're right..that's why I'm not..but I really want to..!"
HBGBM - "Aww..! :-D"
h - "Alright.." {look at HBB, she rolls with me}
..
HBGBM - "Hey..later!"
h - {half-way turn} "Yeah.. :-)"
HBB - "Bye!"
HBGBM - {pause} "Bye" [made it very clear to me that HBGottaBeMixed wasn't even thinking to say bye to HBBrandy..hahah]

..and I continue gaming HBBrandy on our way back up, especially with this 1 major IOI/DHV she did, for which I just poured on the IOIs to her [I think she was trying REALLY hard to DHV herself to me, especially after the last part of the interaction with HBGottaBeMixed], and then socially-proofed myself in front of her, both with a mutual friend of hers [she made a joke/comment referring to him, then looks at me to see if it impressed me/what I think of it] and then when we split off, my roommate [when we spotted each other from a little ways, we both were throwing our arms up like "HEY!!!!!" and headed towards each other to chit-chat, and she saw this whole interaction..nice]

At this point, I'm a little worried about HBGottaBeMixed..well, really, it's only one thing that's kind of bothering me [and just hit me], and that is: did I spike up her Buying Temperature too much..?? Especially since she is going out tonight, and I'm not going to be there..???? ..um..oops..

~h