How to Get the Girl You Like, to Notice You

Have you ever liked a girl, but she never knew you existed?

Tell me if this sounds familiar:

You see an absolutely drop-dead gorgeous girl you are instantly attracted to..



You keep your distance, admiring her from afar, imagining all the wonderful times the two of you could have together..

In the blink of an eye, it's as though you and her have lived a life-time together, and you're convinced "she's the one"..

But for some reason, no matter how much you send out your "vibe", she doesn't seem to notice you!

And whenever you talk to her (should you work up the courage to do so), you can't tell if she's feeling the same way about you that you are about her..

You WANT to ask her out, you WANT her to like you..

But you just don't know how.

Welcome to hell, my friend - the hell of not being noticed by the girl of your dreams.

Don't fear, we've all been there before. The trick here to find romantic success is actually very simple..

See, most guys in this situation will do one of two things:

1. They'll sit around and wait for the girl to ask them out - or show some sign that she feels the same way as they do.

2. They'll jump the gun and ask her out before they establish any type of connection with her.

Either way, these plans of action NEVER work.

Girls WILL NOT ask you out. They're just not used to it. The burden is on the guy to take the initiative.

Also, girls WILL NOT usually accept your offer to go out on a date, if you haven't tried to generate attraction, interest, or rapport with her before-hand.

Understand: just because you feel an emotion, and you have already convinced yourself that you're meant for this girl, DOES NOT mean she has experienced those same emotions..

Your job, as a man, is to help the girl of your desires to feel those emotions!

Otherwise, you won't succeed in getting her to notice you, let alone GO OUT with you.

If you really want to get success with girls, and get them to notice you, here's the basics of what you have to do:

1. Approach the girl, the RIGHT way: The first step in getting any girl to notice you is to meet them. You actually have to WALK UP to the girl, look her in the eyes, and engage her in a conversation. And, you have to do so in a way that is not annoying, imposing, or needy!

2. Create feelings of connection: This is what some might call that "click" or "chemistry". Creating feelings of connection are all about fostering feelings of trust and comfort with women. Too often, guys make the mistake of being a "gender neutral" friend. But creating connections is about finding similarities between you and the girl, so the two of you feel some sort of a conncetion or a bond.

3. Create feelings of sexual tension: This is also known as "flirting". Most guys don't bother to do this, and because of that, they get stuck as "just friends". You HAVE to know how to flirt with the girl, if you want her to start seeing you as a possible romantic interest.

You have to know how to stir within her those feelings of desire and attraction!

Otherwise, you're just another one of those "nice guys" she knows in her life.

If you can do all three of these things, you can get any girl you like, to notice you..so go out there, and Get the Girl!

~h

Going Out Alone, Kinoescalation Tips, and Getting the Phone Number

I was taking a break from studying Micro, when I started thinking [a lot] about HBAmazon, whom I've been seeing at the most inopportune times lately, and finally had a perfect opening..if only I'd seen it [or rather, her] on Friday - and it [or rather, she] is obviously still on my mind.

And then, my roommate apparently couldn't not run into her today, studying near her at the library, and then ending up at the gym at the same time as her, too - and as luck would have it, he didn't take his cell phone with him the whole day, so he couldn't hit me up to let me know that all of this was going down..awesome



Anyways, I started thinking about how I need to close this [as in, I need to, and how to go about doing so], and these ideas started flying around in my head.

For example, we have exams coming up in 2 weeks..but most other terms don't. Am I going to have people to go out with? Should that even be an issue?

I personally kind of like going out alone. It's less hassle getting everything organized, you don't have to wait for your friends to get there, you don't have the distraction of standing around talking to your buddies, and it's a great feeling to leave your house alone and come back with a beautiful woman. It also makes approaching WAY easier because if you don't approach you're just standing around by yourself, which is not particularly fun.

When I first started going out alone, I always felt like EVERYONE in the bar knew I was there by myself and was judging me for it. So one night I decided to do an experiment. I went to a bar and stood in the middle of the bar by myself, not talking to anybody. I was fully expecting people to give me dirty looks or make comments, but nothing happened. Then the next night I went out alone again and this time did a bunch of approaches, I was sure every group was going to ask me where my friends were. And it never happened. Because people really don't care. The biggest hurdle to going out alone is getting over the feeling that people will think you're less cool for being out alone.

Ok so let's look at some things that can be done to fix that worry or fear.

1. Getting in the batter's box. This is something a buddy once said to me that has always stuck. He said the hardest part of going out alone is getting yourself going. I know how it is, you're sitting around your house debating with yourself about whether to go out or stay in. You list all the reasons for and against going out, flip through your phone looking for girls you could call to come over, etc.. But what if instead of that, you simply started to get ready. While you're debating with yourself, hop in the shower, or shave or pick out an outfit for that night. This will help get the ball rolling and then once you're clean, shaved, dressed etc..you'll feel like you have to go out.

2. Approach the first girl you see in the venue. Nothing kills your state when you're out alone faster than standing around with a drink in your hand. So instead as soon as you walk into the venue, start talking to the first girl you see. If there aren't any girls in the bar yet, then talk to the first guy you see. A lot of guys underestimate the power of being talkative. The more of a talkative mood you're in, the easier it will be to approach.

3. Set a certain number of approaches you HAVE to do. It doesn'thave to be overly ambitious, but make sure that you set a goal for the amount of approaches you have to do and don't let yourself go home until you complete them.

4. Establish a home base. This is one of the best and easiest things to do when you go out by yourself. A home base is where you're going to be when you are in between approaches. You don't want to be standing by yourself, so you make friends with either a group of girls you're not interested in gaming or a group of guys. Then you periodically check in with them throughout the night when you need a break or there aren't any girls you're interested in approaching.

Remember: going out alone is either normal or weird based on how YOU feel about it.

So now, let's say you're out and talking to a girl you're interested in. YOU MUST START TOUCHING ASAP!

It doesn't matter if you're not comfortable touching girls. That's fine, I was not a naturally touchy guy either.

So what I did was I came up with a simple structure to guide my touching. It went like this:

1. Playful touching - This is stuff like playfully shoving her, flicking her on the arm, patting her pompously, etc..this is the stuff that happens early on. With touching the earlier you do it, the more you will seem like a naturally touchy guy.

2. Hand touching - This is stuff like high-fives, thumb wars, playfully slapping her hand, and so on.

3. Arm in arm - This will happen as you're qualifying girls. She says something you like, you take her hand, place it on your arm and say "That's all you get". You can also do this when you're moving a girl by asking her if she's the romantic type and holding your arm out for her to link through.

4. Arm around - This is another reward type of touching. She says or does something you like, so you pull her in by her waist. There's an easy way to tell if she's attracted here, because she will put her arm back around you if she likes it.

5. Hand holding - The best way to hand-hold, is to suggest moving and then holding your hand back for her to grab.

6. Kissing - There's a variety of ways to kiss, but my soon-to-be favorite is what's called "The Almost Kiss". This is where in the middle of talking to her, you stop and say "I'm sorry, I'm having a really hard time talking to you, becauseI keep thinking about kissing you. But I understand we're not ready for that yet. So we're going to do an almost kiss. We're going to get really close, but you're not allowed to kiss me and I'm not allowed to kiss you. If you kiss me, it will ruin all trust in our relationship". Then you lean forward and get as close to her lips as you can without touching them. Then you push her away and go back to talking. 5-10 minutes later you can go back in for another almost kiss, at which point the girl will almost always kiss you.

The key with touching is that you have to act like it's the most normal thing in the world.

Ok, so now let's say things have progressed even better, and you need to get her number [i.e. no SNL in this case :-p].

Something to keep in mind: women give out their phone numbers all the time. The phone number isn't worth the paper it's written on, or the phone it's stored in. Sometimes women will even give you their phone number to get rid of you. This isn't the seventies when a phone number meant something. Every girl who has a cell phone, has caller ID..and she can pretty much avoid any guy she wants to, and guess what - she may want to avoid you.

The major mistake most guys make here, is not setting up a date. Getting phone numbers and agreeing to "see each other again sometime" are stairways to heaven. Instead what you want to do is suggest an activity at a specific time and place that you guys can do together. This could be as simple as mentioning how you're going to a comedy show this Thursday early in the conversation, and then bringing it up again and inviting her when you want to get her phone number. By making her commit to a certain time and place, you will see if she's actually interested or if she's just being polite. For example, this way she can say "I'm sorry I'm busy that night..", and if she doesn't suggest alternative plans, you know you have a potential flake on your hands.

Now there are a few other mistakes guys commonly make, as well. First is waiting too long to call her. On a cold approach, you want to call the very next day. The reason being, she doesn't have a whole lot invested in you, unlike a guy in her social circle, whom she'll have to see again.

Then there's waiting an ungodly amount of time to follow up if/when she doesn't call you back. Forget all the "3-day rules" and "5-day rules" you hear about; you want to keep following up every day or other day until you either get her on the phone, or you get distracted by all the other girls you have in the pipeline. You do have other girls in the pipeline, right?

Remember, this is the real world, and not every girl that you think you have a connection with is going to call you back.

The solution is to go out [alone if need be] and meet more women.

~h

The Truth about "Natural Game"

When you've been around pickup and dating science for some time, you'll have seen trends come and go, from creepy old guys telling you to point at your penis when you talk to hippy shamans guaranteeing that any woman can squirt, not to mention the guy who had legions of online fans based on his "new discoveries" until he was forced to admit that he was, in fact, a virgin. These things remind me of societal trends like 80's clothes and hair, oxygen water, or Dungeons and Dragons 3.0: they are all bad, and they will all ruin your game.

The latest of these fads: "natural game". According to this, you don't need any of the best word-for-word scripts, you don't need the step-by-step structure from Magic Bullets; you can just go out and be yourself and have fun and women will come to you. The problem here is that this is what most of us were trying to do before we discovered dating science, that it didn't work back then, and that it sure as heck won't help new people get better now.

When you have large, complex problems like "see that beautiful woman over there; get her into bed (or make her my girlfriend)", it's really helpful to break it down into specific tasks that come one after another. First you do X, until Y happens, and then you do Z. There are only 6 steps, and only a few combinations within each, but it has simplified the lives of thousands of men worldwide and it works. And "being yourself" doesn't help if you draw a mental blank or run out of things to say. Sure, it's easy to tell someone just to make conversation when he runs out of things to say, but when you're talking to a Playboy Playmate look-alike, and her friends are trying to drag her away, and she's looking at you expectantly to see if there's anything more to you than a well-delivered opening line..you have to have stuff ready to go. And it has to be good. Why try to use stuff that didn't work in the past when there is proven material that has worked time and time again to guide you?

In general, any fad that promises an easy path without putting in the work sounds - and is - too good to be true. Does this mean being "natural" is bad or impossible? Of course not. If you see The Mystery Method bootcamp graduates out socially, they will look very relaxed and natural. But that's because they've done the work to get there.

Let me explain, with reference to an all-American metaphor: baseball.

A professional baseball player can step up to the plate, stare at the pitcher, and then, with perfection and apparent ease, hit the ball perfectly for a home run. Let's say you are brand new to the sport of baseball. Perhaps you have never even stepped up to bat before - but you really want to learn and you spend the money and get the opportunity to train with this professional baseball player. The first thing you ask him is "How do I hit a home run?", and he explains that the best way to hit a home run is not to think about it. You need to just feel when the timing is right to hit the ball. Your mind and soul should be on autopilot, you should be one with your true self and then hitting the home run will come naturally to you.


Is he lying to you? No. That is the way he hits a home run every time. But will that advice ever help you hit a home run? Not one darn bit. What has happened is this professional player has completely forgotten about all the years he has spent playing baseball. He forgot about the thousands of times he has been up to bat before. He forgot entirely about his learning process that has allowed him to become the natural baseball player who can effortlessly hit home runs.
It is no different with meeting and attracting women. If you haven't had all of the success you want, going out and "being natural" isn't going to help, no matter how many eBooks you read.

Natural game is simply how men act when they are ALREADY good with women.

You learn natural game by going out and practicing, as much as possible, for as long as possible. You practice with the best tools available to you. Natural game is learned by doing a thousand approaches and then going out and doing a thousand more. It comes from hard work, a good attitude, patterns of success, and a willingness to push through some failure. It comes from making good friends who will push you, attending bootcamps and seminars, and then going out and doing all of it all over again. If you do that I guarantee that you will have natural game.

People who all of a sudden "discover" natural game actually reveal more about their own dating science skills and development than they do about how to teach others. All it means is that they have gotten good enough with the basic structure and with routines that they are now able to take the training wheels off. They discover that now that they have internalized the right behaviors and intuitions from having worked with a structure and routines that they don't need to slavishly follow the model anymore and can improvise.

Well, of course.

When you see me out with friends, I'm improvising, taking advantage of possible shortcuts, and so on. That's because you reach a point where you're good enough to be able to "feel" the game and be "natural," like the baseball player in this analogy. But there's no way that you can get that good if you don't have and use the right resources out there. And whenever something goes wrong, you go straight back to the basics to troubleshoot.

There is a world of difference between being good with women and being able to teach others how to be good with women. Being able to pick up is necessary to being a good teacher, but it's not enough. That's why I've always been suspicious of guys who proclaim themselves to be gurus. If they were really gurus who could change other peoples' lives, there'd be armies of men using their system to great results.

The best way to learn natural game is to do the work necessary to get there. To make the most progress in the least amount of time, it is best to do the training and the exercises that teach you natural game. Those are following the program: scripted material, canned openers, and proven attraction routines. These are time-tested, proven methods that have transformed thousands of Average Frustrated Chumps [AFCs], into real-world pick up artists and the new "naturals."

Another error in the natural game theory, and it applies equally to our pro baseball player and to our pickup artist, is that natural game only happens when your mind and body are in state. What happens when you are nervous, tired, had a bad day at work, dog died or Marvel kills off Captain America? You aren't in the mood to be instantly clever and charming right off the top of your head. But you sure as hell can read a couple of scripts, and then go approach. Every single time.

The few guys I know who are teaching natural game got there only after doing years of field work. Natural game comes from doing the field work. And the best way to learn the field work is to follow the system. Once you have it, natural game is a lot more fun and a lot easier in my opinion; however, it is anything but natural.

~h

LR: SNL Club Freak

Friday was a long, exhausting day. And I was already tired before it even began..

I'm just going to fast-forward to the good stuff, which is that I pre-gamed with a few of my boys before we went out to the 2 main clubs here.

We went to the first place, where they've got a more formal dress code, so I rocked my Armani jeans, Jordans, with a white shirt and dress jacket on top..I'll be honest, I was looking fly as hell, and everyone noticed - they were either loving it and going on and on about it, or they were hating on it, trying to make fun or bring me down a couple notches, but they couldn't get through my frame.

It was a decent crowd, not nearly as packed as I was expecting, but it was fun because me and my friends were there outcome-independent, just having drinks and enjoying ourselves. And people could tell, because they kept buzzing around us, starting up conversations with some of the lamest comments - it was a reminder of how hot girls feel when they're out, being approached by lame-ass AFCs with no game.

After scoping the scene for a while and fucking around with the guys, I decided to up things; after all, I didn't come out and be balled out like I was just to chill with the guys and drink my brains out in the VIP area..which we got into for free :-)

So I started talking to one of my buddies "P" about some of the girls around, and we were eyeing up and breaking down what was going on with whom. And then we relocated to the outer area because most of the people were headed that way, too. I spotted this one girl in a red dress/top, with some fucking chode, so I told my buddy I was going in.

I opened the guy, actually, being all chummy with him and feeling him out, befriending the obstacle as it were, and the guy got lamer and lamer the more he talked. And he brought the girl into the conversation, telling me how she likes him and all kinds of AFC shit, and the look on the girl's face said it all. She even went so far as to tell me, that she told him that if she wasn't dating someone back home, then she'd go out with him.

I laughed. I couldn't help it; in my mind, I was thinking if the guy had any game at all, she wouldn't have said something like that to him..shit, if he knew even a little of what he was doing, she wouldn't have said anything about a guy back home, period..much less been like 'oh sorry I'm with someone thousands of miles away, but otherwise I'd totally go out with you! My little cute puppy dog!' loll

So anyways, after talking with her for a bit, and having the drunk fool keep interrupting with random AFC shit, like how much he likes her, and wants to go out with her, and blahblahblah..I decided it was not worth it to deal with all this shit, so I bounced out..only to spot another Indian girl from my class, whom I'd nicknamed My Little Porn Star because of her very curvaceous body and dick-sucking lips, and she was looking fiiine.

She waved at me and smiled, so I went right in, and told her "Now that we're outside of class, you have to at least give me a hug and a kiss, because this is just ridiculous - you wave at me in class, all sleepy-looking with glasses on and stuff, so I don't think anything about it - I'm right there with you! But now you're all done up, looking nice in this cute little outfit, and you're awake..so that's not going to fly!"

She complied, gave me a hug and a quick peck on the cheek, and the biggest ear-to-ear smile I've seen on her face. Then we talked about some shit for a bit, I wasn't really paying much attention because I kept thinking about her lips wrapped around my fat cock..nice! So I just focused on making sure my body language was good, and I kept rocking out and then back in, just to let her know that I wasn't completely all into her/us at the moment, putting more pressure on her to continue trying to win me over.

She then got pulled off by a hater [who didn't even face me or look at me while he was there] to go find one of their super-drunk friends, and she kept trying to reassure me that she'd come back [I guess she could tell by the look on my face that I didn't believe her..or that I just didn't care haa].

Then me and my buddy met back up with our other 2 boys and decided to roll from this venue to the other nightspot, right near campus and my place. This is where the real fun started..

So we get in, and it's a decent crowd - half the people are from the other place, like us. The others head to the bar, while I take a detour to talk to the girl working the door [I've gamed her before, too, and have #-closed her]. She gave me a hug, and we chit-chatted for a minute, then I told her I'd come chill with her a little later when she wasn't too busy [it was already like 3am, so she knew I was just leaving her because I have other things to do, like gaming other hot girls around = social proof, plus pre-selection for when I come back].

I get to the bar area where my friends are, and I throw a napkin at HBBartender [it's a little thing we do = "our thing" aka connection -> comfort]. She starts giggling and can't help herself, comes over and starts chatting me up, smiling ear-to-ear. Then I tell her I need a hug, so she comes around the side and hugs up on me, squeezes me, and holds me.

After a minute, I gently push her off..but then hold her hand, which she squeezes back. We talk for a few minutes like this, then I tell her she should get back to work [non-neediness], while I go hang with my friends [social proof]. And I tell her not to worry, because I'll be back..

Me and my boys chill for a bit, and my chick-scoping buddy from before "P", points out this fiiine black local girl who keeps eyeing me, hard. And I catch her, a number of times, as well as take in the situation - she's there with another girl and 2 guys, and the way they're positioned, it seems the girls came with the guys and know them and are "with them". It's all good, no sweat, right? :-)

So a little later, my boys decide they're going to bounce, so I go and hug the girl at the door [HBDoorGirl], and tell her I'll hit her up later. She seems kind of sad to see me go, in her own bubbly way, and as I'm walking out towards the car, I'm thinking 'Why am I already leaving? I've got girls here to game, and I'm still having a good time..and still buzzing from the alcohol, too - why did I drink if I'm just going to go to bed??'

I get to the car where my boys are waiting up for me, and I tell them I'm going back in. They leave, and I go get HBDoorGirl again and tell her that they're being bitches and leaving already, but I still want to party..with her, once she gets off. She tells me she'll be done at 4-ish, and I tell her "Cool, come find me, we'll dance..and when I'm ready to go, I'll call my boy to come pick me up [because I'm not a loser who got ditched by his friends, I chose to stay, and all I have to do is ask them to come get me, and they will, no matter how late, etc, because that's what boys do for each other]".

At this point, I'm thinking about all the social proof that I have, and how quickly that can get shot down into the negatives if I don't quickly find a set, because otherwise even I'll soon succumb to the "weirdo by himself" category despite how baller I may be looking with my clothes and attitude.

I find a couple of people I know from class and jump in with them. And as luck would have it, the hot local chick from before who was eyeing me down, was standing right behind me, elbow-to-elbow and back-to-back. And I could see her turning over her shoulder to look my way every few seconds, so I was racking my brain as to how to enter the set..

So I bumped her. Softly at first, but then I did it again, a little harder. And a third time. And I could see she was getting kind of upset/frustrated with me, throwing me dirty looks, so I bumped her one more time, and this time did a double-take over my shoulder at her, like I didn't realize I was bumping into her all this time.

I apologized, almost to the point of over-kill, just to take it to such an extreme that the whole thing became almost absurd, and she brought up the fact that I'd almost spilled her drink, and I was like oh I'm soo sorry..

At this point, her "guy" jumped in, trying to be all Mr. Baller, and tells me that I'd better be sorry about that, and I looked at him and smiled, then turned back the girl and asked her "Did I spill your drink..?", to which she replied no, and I said to her and the guy "Well, then, there's nothing to stress about it, now is there?" while still smiling.

The girl cracked a smile, so I knew I was good with her, and the guy just huffed at me, so I knew he wasn't going to be a bother anymore. So, I body rocked back out from her towards my 2 friends, and then rocked back towards her and asked her how her night has been going. And we started chit-chatting, and each time she started to turn back towards her group, I'd turn my body faster/quicker, so as to seem like I was already doing it and mine was more obvious, so I must really be uninterested..and like magic, I had her re-opening me each time [I think twice or so this happened].

I started to turn to completely face her as she faced me, and then I started slowwwwly walking and talking, going for a mini-isolation a few feet away from both of our respective groups. We talked for a while, about what she does, what I do, mundane shit basically..but all the while, I was physically escalating with here, at first holding her hand [I put it out there, and she grabbed it], and then later pulling her in closer to me. This was great, because I had one leg up on the wall I was leaning up against [locked-in, of course ;-)], and so when I pulled her in towards me, she ended up with my knee pressed up between her legs. And slowly I started moving, kind of swaying to the music, and she followed suit, with my knee pressing up harder against her sweet spot..and all the while, we're still talking about things, comfort-building-type stuff, like what we want to do with out respective lives, etc.

I could see that she was getting hot, so I decided to push her away and tease her, so I told her I was going to go get another drink and use the bathroom. I ran into the 2set from before, and I asked my friend if he wants anything to drink. I ordered our drinks from this cuuuuuuuuute fucking bartender, definitely a new girl, and I start talking to her for a minute or two, asking her her name in the process and replying with how I have an ex-girlfriend with a similar name except hers was blahblahblah, then I completely roll off her and head to the bathroom.

I killed the drink as I pissed, and then I talked to some local dude about how the sink sucks. We talked for a minute on our way out, and he told me about another party the next night, invited me out to it, introduced himself to me, etc - see what social proof can do for you? And itm akes me out to be a leader of men in front of my chicks around watching.

I left him and went to find the girl I'd left all hot and bothered, and she'd rejoined her group [surprise]. She spotted me coming and smiled at me, waving me into the group. So I went in for a few seconds, smiled, said some random shit, and then pulled my girl back out to our isolation spot, only this time a little further out of most people's sight.

A few minutes later, her friends started leaving, and I could just see the look on the guy's face who was with her before, just all pissed off and shit - classic! So she and I chilled for a bit more, then I told her I was getting tired, and the place was starting to close up anyways, and then I asked her what she was up to now..

She told me she was still kind of awake, so she was probably going to go back to her place and chill or something, because she had work for a bit the next day..and she gives me this look..and I'm like "Oh cool - well, I'm going to head back, I'm kind of tired.." just to fuck with her a bit. And to continue figuring out logistics: if she's working tomorrow, then we won't have any spend-the-night shit, either, because she's got to get up relatively early; if her group left, obviously she has her own ride, which I didn't know before [I should've asked how she, and her friends, had gotten there] and was kind of hesitant about bringing her back to my place simply because I didn't want her knowing where I live and leading to drama later.

But now that was no longer an issue. So I tell her that I live on campus, maybe she can give me a ride. She agrees, and tells me that she's going to the bathroom first. So I go talk to HBDoorGirl, running some comfort shit on her, more linked to "you only live once" and "what are the odds that you and I met, and are here talking, right now, of all the people in the world I could be talking to" and having ambitions and passions in life. I also ran strawberry fields as well as rings-on-fingers, because I noticed she had a shiny ring on her right index finger. And she was loving all of it.

At this point, the super-cute bartender girl came up to me and started talking to me about Indian movies, so I was IOIing her like crazy for them, because she was obviously trying to impress me [remember, create your own reality]. So, I kept giving her high 5's and hugs, and then HBBartender came up behind me and started grinding on me from the back. And this was hilarious, because HBBartender and HBDoorGirl got into a verbal play-fight over me and ran off to go clean up, and the super-cute bartender was telling me that "They may look like they're playing now, but when you're not around, behind the scenes, they'll be going at it for real!" So I made her in charge of keeping me up-to-date on the drama, and she said that she doesn't get involved with drama [which got her another hug for not being a typical drama queen], and at this point I should've #-closed her, but I didn't..ah well, I had her give me a going-away hug-and-kiss, before she ran off to go help clean up.

My girl HBGarcelle came back sometime as me and the super-cute bartender were saying our good-byes, so I pretended not to see her and started talking to the big bouncer dude at the entrance, to get in good with him..which I did. Because he could totally fuck me over with the girls working there, as well as give me shit every time I come around, if he feels like I kind of invaded his area or something gay like that.

Then, me and HBGarcelle start walking towards her car, and as we're getting there, I tell her I'm not really ready to go to sleep because I'm not too tired at the moment. So she offers to watch a movie, and I ask her what she's got, and she says that I can see for myself..and we're off to her place!

The details are pretty much as can be expected, but basically we get to her place, she gives me a little tour, and I pick out some lovey-dovey/comedy looking movie, I think it had Ashton Kutcher or Josh Hartnett or someone like that in it, and we plop down on her couch and start watching it.

No more than 10-15 minutes later, this girl is like throwing herself at me, so things escalate pretty quick, until I push her off and tell her we should slow down [so I can drink some water!], and she agrees. Another 5 minutes later, and she starts kissing up on my neck, and I rub her arm, and her hand goes between my legs..so I think fuck it, and whip out my dick..

And she starts jerking me, almost violently, and I grab her hair and pull her head back and start making out with her, hard, and she starts taking my jacket and shirt off and sucking on my nipples, so then I slowly put pressure on the back of her head, and she gets the hint and goes down on me..and holy fuck, can she suck!!

[Oh shit, I didn't realize, that shit rhymes :-)]

Anyways, so she's sucking me off, while I'm sitting there watching the movie and drinking my water loll

Once I feel sober enough to fuck and not bust a nut too quick because I'm drunk, I start sliding my fingers between her legs, to find that she's wet as hellll already! And that shit got me going even more, to the point that I grabbed her, stood up, and slid the strings on her dress off her shoulders while I pulled my jeans and shit off..and just banged her doggy right on her couch.

After a while, I took her to her bed, along with my water bottle, and had her get on top, and I started splashing water all up on her tits and especially on that phat assss of hers..holy shit, that shit was fucking hot..

Anyways, so we finished up after a while, and I passed ouuuuut - I was totally drained! I got up maybe 30 minutes later, and I got dressed and used her phone to call my number, then I texted her back with my number, and then I went to let her know that I was leaving, and I'd hit her up later..and she just had this dreamy look and smile on her face..and I was thinking 'I know exactly how you feel haa..'

I called up one of my local cabbie buddies, who gave me a ride back to my place, and I crashed until like 3:30pm the next day..and still made it to the gym ;-)

~h

How to Approach a Group of Girls, and Have Them Think You're Great

In this post, I’m going to use women at a bar. I will be going into lots of other techniques for non-bar pickups, too, but for now, we’ll stick with this.

As you know, women don’t usually go to bars on their own..they go in groups.

Approaching groups of women can be extremely daunting, and if you don’t know what you’re doing, you can fail miserably with groups, and like a pack of wolves they can rip you apart. I’ve seen guys get cussed at, totally ignored, and even drinks poured all on them.

But if you do the approach right, then your success with a group of women can usually yield great results.

Whenever I suggest approaching groups of women, I get guys looking at me as though I’m from another planet. I realize that lots of guys probably don’t have the initial confidence to simply walk up to beautiful women they don’t know..don’t worry, this can be easily solved.

I’ll give you some simple tips here..

Increasing Confidence Exercise - In the Mall

Step 1: Walk around the shopping mall and when you catch a woman’s eye, smile at her – more often than not, she’ll smile back. To start with, you can do this just with store employees. Even if they don’t want to smile, they probably will.

Good practice..and you might even brighten a few women’s lives a little.

Step 2: Once you’ve gained confidence in making natural eye contact and a smile with staff, you could move onto other women in the mall. I’m not suggesting big weird freak smiles, just nice, natural, friendly ones. A lot of women will smile back at you.

Step 3: Here’s where it might seem a little weird, but this really does help, and practice and repetition will make this a lot easier - just say "hi", with a smile, to women [and men, if you like] as you walk around the mall. It will feel HORRIBLE at first if you are not confident, but slowly, after an hour or two, it’ll seem easy.

After you’ve smiled and said "hi" to 20 or 30 women, you should start to feel good..as long as you don’t quit on your first negative response; this will happen, and it'll happen when you’re approaching women to pick them up, too - you have to learn to step out of your comfort zone if you want to be successful with women.

One of my buddies did the “smile at girls in the mall” technique, and he actually ended up meeting the girl of his dreams and is still with her – how’s that for effective! :-)

Keep in mind that there are plenty of other techniques you can do to build your confidence, most not quite as scary as the mall one.

Cool, now let’s assume you now have the confidence [or at least the guts] to approach women you don’t know in a bar.

Firstly, let’s suppose two girls are seated together at a bar: one is the "ugly" one, and one is the hot one [i.e. the one you like the looks of and would like to get to know more].

You see the girls..go up to them and talk to them IMMEDIATELY!

Don’t waste time.

Within 3 seconds of seeing them, approach them. Mystery [and others now] call this the "3 second rule", and I've got to say it really does seem to work.

If you see her and like her, it’s best not to think too much about the approach, or you’re more likely to work yourself into such a state that your approach will be ineffective, or you’ll just pussy out altogether!

So - within 3 seconds, go TALK to her!

Also, always, ALWAYS approach a woman from the side, or at an angle from the front..NEVER from behind – this is really important to remember!

If you go up to the group at the bar and approach from behind, you will instantly invoke a negative response, and they will be put on the defensive - not what you're going for. So to prevent things from starting off on the wrong foot, and then needing to do damage control [which might be futile at that point, anyway], always, always, ALWAYS go in from the side or angled from the front.

~h

8 Keys to Success With Women

1) Always judge a woman by the way she acts..and not by what she tells you

If she tells you that she loves you, but doesn't respond to the way you touch her..if she tells you that she likes you, but acts differently..don't waste your time.

Go by how she acts. You have eyes. You are not stupid - you know when a woman's actions do not match up with her words.

2) Don't try to impress a woman

Rather, try to interest her..there is a difference!

When you impress, you are getting a woman for the short term. The problem with impressing a woman is that you have to constantly think of new tricks.

It's easier to interest her. If you do not know the difference between impressing a woman and interesting her, you have a lot to learn:

The man who impresses a woman is a magician. He thinks of new tricks, and the audience "gasps!" in wonder. But after some time, his tricks are for nothing. Then he has to learn new tricks.

The man who interests a woman is a painting. It is a beautiful painting that a person stares at in awe. And with each passing day, it is still beautiful. It is timeless. And all who look upon the painting know that it is genuine beauty.

Interest her rather than impressing her - impressing a woman is fake..interesting a woman is genuine.

3) Do you know what I find ironic? If a girl never liked you to begin with, your gifts, flowers, and chocolates won't do a damn thing.

And on the same token, if a girl already liked you, your gifts, flowers, and chocolates are unneeded, because she already liked you.

4) It's all about SELF-IMPROVEMENT

When a man exercises and becomes stronger, he changes.

A woman takes notice.

When a man studies hard and gets the job that he desires, he changes.

A woman takes notice.

When a man gets a rewarding career and gets the wealth that he desires, he changes.

A woman takes notice.

When a man works on improving his own life and fulfilling his own dreams, he changes.

A woman takes notice.

When a man focuses on improving himself physically, socially, mentally and spiritually, he changes.

A woman takes notice.

Ambition is absolutely attractive to a woman. And this is why a woman is intrigued by a man who speaks and thinks with ambition. In fact, some women will desire a man even if he is poor, if his ambition burns in his soul.

Women associate ambition with potential. A man with ambition is always striving for perfection and for obtaining that which he desires.

5) The only way to have a happy life is to develop one for yourself, then leave an opening for someone else to come and share it with you.

Neither of these two things is easy..BUT - a woman will not fulfill your life; you must fulfill your own life!

6) Observe the best salesmen!

There are certain salesmen that you will never buy from. And there are the ones that you do.

Observe the best salesmen. Observe the way he talks to you: what he does, how he acts, how he walks, how he talks..basically, what is his "secret"?

If you are a wise man, you will learn from him. Watch him. Observe him. Study him. Read him. In a way, become him.

Believe it or not, getting a woman is the ability to SELL. You have to show her why YOU are better than the other men.

7) Know this rule about women: A woman who truly likes you will MAKE TIME TO BE WITH YOU

A woman who truly likes you will never be too busy for you. Learn this now!

If a girl ever tells you that she's too busy for you, you better understand..women make time for men that they love!

8) THE RIGHT WAY TO TALK TO A GIRL

I think there is a lot of confusion on how to speak to women. Some people recommend pickup tips and pickup lines and things of the sort. There are literally hundreds and hundreds of books on the subject. But I've learned better. I've learned that it doesn't do any good to try to memorize lines to talk to a woman.

I've learned that the best way to attract a woman is to be interesting. Act like she knows you. Act like you know her. How do you talk to your friends? How do you talk to those who know you? Do you speak like that to her?

Well, you should.

The key is to act like you know her, but you want to add a tinge of sexuality. You don't want to be "just that friend".

You want to also show that you have some interest in her. Whenever I go to attract a woman, I act like she's an ex-girlfriend of mine - just show a genuine interest in her. I talk to her like I know her. But at the same time, I show her that I'm a bit playful. I let her know that she is a woman and I am a man.

The trick and the puzzle of women is that they've been conditioned to hear pickup lines.

They've been conditioned to think that the moment a man approaches them, they are looking for sex.

But when you come up to women and act like you know them, when you say, "Hi!" and you keep talking to her like you know her, she'll feel a sense of ease and comfort.

And that is exactly how you should make her feel - when you make a woman comfortable, then you have completed the most difficult obstacle of all.

~h

More Thoughts on Cold Reading

This post deals with the idea of cold reading. Keep in mind that originality is the most important quality that you can convey to a woman - from the way you dress to how you approach the ladies and engage them in conversation.

On the other hand, when you fail to make a unique impression, she's going to automatically lump you in with the last 37 chumps who tried to buy her a drink - and within three minutes of you paying for her $12 cocktail, she'll be excusing herself to "go find her friend." As if her friend is lost somewhere in the nightclub, in desperate need of food and water..

The key to building a bond with her is to engage her attention and to get her to share information about herself.

Then you'll tell her how much you relate and establish rapport with her.

One of my favorite conversational tactics for accomplishing this is by using cold reads. This technique, which as I mentioned in my previous post is used to great effect by psychics and palm readers, is a way to make the other person feel like you understand what makes them tick, and what they're going through, without them directly telling you.

The trick with cold reads is that the "observations" you're making apply to virtually anyone. Yet there are psychological reasons why they work so effectively.

Human beings are self-centered, and we generally accept claims about ourselves that reflect how we wish to be.

Also, people are vain. We want to be seen as unique.

Even though cold reads are usually vague generalizations [which would apply to your Aunt Bernice, just as they would to the hottie partying with her friends at the nightclub], we want to agree with the person who skillfully "reads" us, and we'll believe they have unusual powers of perception.

So forget about asking the generic "job interview" questions - "So what's your name", "where are you from", etc.

Example: if I'm in a club, talking to some babe who's acting a bit hard to get, I'll bust out a cold read along the lines of:

"You know, HB, I get the sense that a lot of guys get the wrong idea when they first meet you. They think you're stand-offish and a bit cold. But you're actually a lot more sensitive, and funny, than people realize".

Another example: "I get the sense it takes you a while to trust people, because you've been hurt before by someone who was really close to you. But the people that do earn your trust, you would do anything for them".

Yet another: "I can tell that you're someone who usually plays it safe and doesn't take chances, but sometimes you've regretted it because you missed out an opportunity. But then other times, you're spontaneous and adventurous, and you do take chances..and that's when you've had some of the best times of your life" [this one is a good one to work in for SNL-style game].

If she agrees with one of these "reads" [and honestly, I've never had a woman flat-out disagree], I'll follow up by telling her that I can totally relate, because I'm the same way.

This builds a bond between me and her instantly. In order to solidify the bond, I'll tell a quick story - one that illustrates how I'm the same type of person [a good idea: if you've got five cold reads ready to use, you should also have five short stories to illustrate how you embody those same qualities].

A similar tactic is using "Barnum statements", named after the circus showman P. T. Barnum. These statements apply to just about anybody, but they give the impression that you're tapping into her inner psyche.

One of my favorites is "I can tell something has been weighing on your mind. You're on the verge of making an important decision in your life, aren't you?" This is a good one, because pretty much all of us, at any given time, are contemplating a big decision..or one that is big to us, at least.

Regardless, she'll be surprised and impressed that you knew that about her. She'll probably volunteer more information - and now you're engaged in a deep, authentic conversation instead of trying to fill awkward pauses, or drag her onto the dance floor.

Much of what a cold reader does is simply repeating back what the subject has said, as if he already knew the answer.

For example, if she affirms that she's on the verge of making a big decision, nod wisely and say something along the lines of, "Yes, that's right, and you're really having a hard time with it".

In other words, claim her answer as your own.

Some other examples of cold reads that are vague yet "profound":

"You have a strong need for others to like and admire you, but you also have a tendency to be critical of yourself".

"You've got a hidden talent, or a passion, that most people don't know about, and you want to pursue it..but something is holding you back".

"At times, you're really social and out-going. But other times, you're reserved and introverted".

Now that you understand the idea behind cold reads, you can make your own. Based on her vibe, the way she's dressed, and how she acts during the first few minutes of conversation, you should be able to use a "read" that applies to her.

Keep in mind that this is just one example of an original, thought-provoking conversational tactic. There's only so much I can squeeze into my posts, what with med school and all taking up so much of my time.

But I know it's helpful for you guys, and it helps me to get these thoughts and ideas out "on paper", helping me register them in my own mind more cleanly and clearly.

~h

Finding and Using Specific Venues with Built-In DHVs

Today, I'm tumbling some generalizations about pickup through my head to see what I come up with. Large brush strokes. In this vein, a lot of things can be said.

Your success or failure with women has no bearing whatsoever on your value as a human being.

Massive repetition of social interaction is the only way to develop a noticeably improved social intelligence.

Game is, fundamentally, the expression of your inner state, conveyed through the rhythms you use to direct the energy of the interaction.

These are all valid and valuable insights. But I am drawn back to the over-arching truth about pickup, which is as follows:

Always be cooler than the girl.

In other words, when you're trying to attract and captivate a woman, it's always about VALUE. Are you someone who she could gain value from being with? Ultimately, this is the main factor in her decision whether or not to hop in the sack with you.

Of course, the idea of "value" is largely subjective, meaning it can take many, many different forms and mean different things to different people.

It was these realizations that led to the development of the tactic called the "display of higher value", or DHV.

As you're probably aware by now, you need to look at any given pickup as a PROCESS.

After you find a girl you want to get to know, the first step is to OPEN her. This is basically the act of approaching and initiating a conversation.

After that, you need to HOOK the set, and hook it FAST. After you open the set, you have a very short window in which to generate some attraction and hook it, or else you'll end up with an interaction that goes nowhere.

There are many, many different ways to build attraction FAST, as is necessary when you want to hook a set. Out of all of these, the display of higher value may be the most effective of all.

There are many ways to go about this. You might do it by being very commanding and sure of yourself, controlling and directing the conversation, and showing a high tolerance to social pressure.

You might say something that shows you're very knowledgeable about a particular subject. It could just come from the way you're dressed and the way you carry yourself.

No matter how you approach it, a display of higher value is almost guaranteed to get the girls looking at you in a favorable light, one conducive to getting you L-A-I-D.

Based on all this, it kind of goes without saying that I'm always looking for an angle to go all DHV on that ass.

It was with this in mind that I STUMBLED upon a magical discovery: some VENUES are actually engineered with displays of higher value BUILT-IN.

Yes, that's right. There are certain settings and places you can go that, by their very nature, ensure you will come off as someone with higher value, if you know how to work it right.

As I said, I stumbled upon this accidentally in my early stages of development in the game. If you didn't know, I'm a "fan" of the ART of KARAOKE.

I try to get out there whenever possible, for the pure entertainment value it provides. Over the years, I've gotten pretty good at it, not just the singing part, but the whole stage presence, how to work the crowd, etc.

I like this stuff, because for three and a half minutes at a time, I can pretend I have emotions. Which is cool. Sort of.

Anyway, I used to go there just to "sing" and watch others "sing" as well. But after I started getting involved in the game, I started looking out for chicks in the venue that I could practice on.

What I noticed wasn't really that surprising, but shook my head up nonetheless: after I got up and sang, girls would throw me approach invitations like it was nobody's business. Sets would open like a hot knife through butter. The chicks would literally have stars in their freakin' eyes.
It's crazy..it's like the karaoke casts a spell that magically obscures the fact that I'm just a semi-drunk dude looking to get laid.

One chick even told me after we had sex, "I had to sleep with you. You sang one of my favorite songs!"

I'm like, "Uhhh... ok...? This is your SELECTION CRITERIA?" Whatever!

The point of all this is: I had a pre-existing hobby which I happened to excel at, and I discovered that it dove-tailed nicely with my new interest in pick-up.

In other words, I had a venue that held, for me at least, a built-in DHV. A niche market.

I've since found that the karaoke bar is a perfect venue for "day2s", or second meets with the girl after I get her phone number. I'm socially-proofed there, there's little or no competition to speak of, and I get the opportunity to project higher value on myself through my karaoke craftsmanship.

Note, I never make a big deal out of it, like, "Oh, we HAVE to go to KARAOKE, I LOOVE IT!" If I were to do that, it would make it seem contrived, like I plotted and planned this whole thing to impress her.

Instead, I throw it out real casually, as though it's just an off-the-cuff idea I had for a fun date.

Sometimes, I'll just tell them the name of the bar and have them meet me there without letting on what it is. Before I go up, I always downplay it, saying how much I suck, etc.

I'm not suggesting you go to the karaoke bar here. This ain't no American Idol. What I definitely WOULD recommend is that you try to hunt down niche markets that work FOR YOU.

Let me throw out some other examples to give you some ideas to brainstorm off of:

Salsa or swing dancing. Not my thing personally, but many people, including one of my boys, are into this stuff. If you can dance, these events are a great, fun way to show some value while getting physical at the same time. From what I hear, people hook up at these things ALL THE TIME, which makes sense - dancing is equated to sex, especially in a woman's mind. Something to consider.

Sporting events in sports that you're good at. This could be a softball game with your friends in the park. Hell, it could even be bowling or miniature golf, which has definitely worked nicely for me as a day2. It doesn't necessarily have to be anything very "cool"..as long as you're displaying value in the context of the activity, it has the desired effect.

I mean, come on..karaoke? Not really that cool, but trust me..it works.

Another idea might be an art show, if you're really well-versed in the ins and outs of that scene.

You get the picture.

One thing to watch out for, though, make sure the venue or event isn't TOO NERDY.

One of my friends is a big fan of this "Pub Quiz". You know what this is, it's like trivia night at the pub, with teams competing for prizes. The problem here is, it's usually completely devoid of hot chicks. The same warning would apply to things like Star Trek conventions and the like. Use common sense.

Anyway, this is an incredibly powerful concept that every aspiring pick up artist should leverage to their advantage: niche markets.

~h

Approach Anxiety, and How to Overcome It

Just now, I was sitting at my desk going through a few emails from guys with one common enemy.

Approach anxiety.

What exactly is approach anxiety?

It's the fear that suddenly floods your entire body when you think it's time to approach a woman that you like. It also paralyzes you to the point where it's hard to be yourself.

This enemy has more control over you than you think.

It controls your thoughts, your emotions, your feelings..and it manipulates you and forces you to do things that you don't want to do.

It robs you of the experience of meeting more women whenever you like.

The bottom line is that it's a big barrier that's standing in between you and your dreams of becoming more successful with women and dating.

..and if you don't do anything about it, things could get really UGLY.

On the flip side, without it, you can have the luxury to meet any woman you desire, anytime you want.

You have to learn how to overcome this fear, or you'll be living as it's prisoner every single day of your single life.

And it's not going to be fun.

I was once a prisoner of this fear. It ruled my life, until I found a simple way to slaughter this ugly enemy, and start meeting women confidently.

I'm about to share with you an easy way to break free from approach anxiety.

The best way to beat approach anxiety is creating "Approaching Behavior" - you need to train your body how to respond to the fear and anxiety you'll feel when you want to approach a woman.

For example, when you see a woman you want to approach, instead of walking away and not doing anything, start breaking the habit and DO SOMETHING about it.

You don't have to get her number.

You don't have to make her like you.

..you just have to do something about it.

You've got to create Approaching behavior.

You've got to train your body to respond in a way that will move you towards getting the girl and away from the fear that controls you.

If you're just starting out and you have IMMENSE fear of approaching women, then here's what you should do.

Start small and take baby steps, my friend.

Guys often ask me "What's the biggest SECRET to getting good with women really fast?"

My answer is simple - instant action.

If you want immediate results in your dating life, then you're going to have to take ACTION. You won't get good sitting on your ass and reading my cool-as-shit blog.

You've got to take these techniques and turn it into results, and you can do that by taking action, trying this stuff out in the real world.

Ask yourself this: what did you do the last time you saw a woman you wanted to meet?

Here's a plan to follow to make sure it doesn't happen that way again. Next time you see a woman you'd like to meet, follow these basic steps:
1. Walk up to her
2. Ask her a question
3. Walk away

Try to make it a daily habit to approach attractive women. All of this might seem simple but it's a giant leap from living in fear to breaking out of your shell and becoming confident.

This is the first step to developing the proper Approaching behavior.

When you do this you'll realize how easy it is to approach women and start a conversation.

You'll have a feeling of relief.

You'll tell yourself, "Man, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be!"

And it will bring you one step closer to becoming a confident man who can meet any woman, anywhere, at any time.

A skill that 99% of men out there don't have.

Trust me, after you've developed this super cool ability to meet women on demand, every single guy you know will be jealous and curious - jealous of your results, and curious to know how you did it.

~h

On Inner Game

I couldn't have put it any better myself..


Cajun on Inner Game

Inner game is probably one of the most misunderstood concepts in dating science. It's a major sticking point for nearly everyone who has trouble talking to women and it's a problem that can be difficult to fix as well, since it tends to be rooted in a lifetime's worth of negative beliefs that are based on things like fear and rejection. Inner game is also a topic that I think can only be discussed from a personal level, that is, I can't convince you how to think or look at life differently - only you can do that - but I can tell you how I overcame the very same problems, and hope that you can learn from my experiences.

First up - the most important factors in inner game are your experience and your mindset. Most inner game problems that men run into with women, and actually with life in general, can be traced back to one of these two areas.

Experience:

When people ask me how I developed the kind of confidence that allows me to consistently approach and seduce beautiful women, I always answer the same way: "Practice". If you've done something enough times to be comfortable with it, you become confident - it's usually the new or unfamiliar situations that cause people to doubt themselves. The sad and somewhat ironic reality is that most men are not comfortable talking to women simply because they don't talk to women! It's a negative feedback loop that's perpetuated by a fear of "what might go wrong". This is important. To be scared of the possible negative outcomes is to be scared of the very thing that enables you to get better.

Think about it this way: when you were learning to ride a bicycle, were you too scared to get on because of a fear that you might fall down? Maybe you were, but you got on anyway because you saw how much fun all the other kids were having, and you realized that the reward was worth the risk. Think of dating science the same way. I remember when I first started out with this stuff, I used to get drinks thrown in my face, told off, or simply ignored. The first few weeks were rough; it took me a while before I got used to rejection enough that I could understand where I went wrong. Getting used to rejection isn't easy, but the best advice I can give you is to simply accept it, don't get mad at her or yourself, don't go home, just accept that it's a completely normal, and necessary part of the learning process. You can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs. The sooner you realize that rejection is a necessary evil, the sooner you can come to terms with it and move past it. I can't count the number of one-on-one or bootcamp students I've had who were too scared to approach beautiful women at the beginning of the night and were going home with them at the end.

Mind Set:

Most of us grew up in a society that believed in a dual-concentric circle model of reality. That is, the outer circle being reality, or the world around us, and the inner circle being our consciousness. We experience the outer circle; reality, through our inner circle; our consciousness. This is how we believed reality worked; that our consciousness was independent of it...but recently this all changed.

We are now learning through quantum physics that reality is actually the inner circle, and that our consciousness is the outer circle. That is; reality exists inside our mind, we create our own reality with our thoughts (Or beliefs, if you'd rather).

What does this mean?

As far as any of us know, there may only be 1 reality; your own. Who's to say I'm not a figment of your imagination, your reality, writing this entire article out to send a message to YOU, from your subconscious mind. It's possible.

The truth is, whether any of us actually exist or not is irrelevant. Life is a game, and it's a game that a lot of people are scared to play. Don't be one of them.

I recently received an email from a former student of mine asking about the power of beliefs, and how they work. I replied with the following:

"Think of it this way: what if, let's say, 15 years from now programmers invent this computer game that is virtually identical to reality. The game is so smart you can't tell it's not a real person. The five senses are so accurately programmed that there is no detectable difference to reality. Now, you get to play this game, but the programmer tells you some hints on how to play, he says this:

"This software is programmed to work intuitively with your brain. So, if you want to be, let's say, a rich Casanova in the game, then all you have to do is believe that you ARE a rich Casanova, and you will become one. The trick is you have to actually believe it, and then the program takes care of the rest. In fact you can have, and be anything you want in this program as long as you ask for it using these "beliefs". Think of it as your "console hack""

I'm sure you saw this coming, but this "game" already exists and it's called reality. You become who you believe you are."

Sound a little like the matrix? Well that's ok, like I said; I can only give advice on inner game from my own personal perspective and this is simply how I believe reality works.

I'll end this article with something that I've never written about before:

I remember the very night that I became good at attracting women, I remember because I had an epiphany that night and it was so mind-blowing that I had to write it down as soon as I came home. It has since become my mantra, and I know that if down the road I ever forget everything that I've learned in the past few years, all I will have to do is read this piece of paper and it will all come back. What does the paper say?

"The secret to becoming amazing at attracting women is...to remember that you already are."


I think the video game analogy is a great one; in fact, it's one that I use myself, and have been for some time now, and use it to get across this same idea to my friends when helping them out with their own game problems, especially issues like Approach Anxiety.

At the end of the day, it is all just a game - all of life itself, actually, like a Sims game: you go through your daily routine, and certain things happen, certain people come and go in that day, and depending on your actions, you affect the outcome. So, if you see 3 cute girls at the gym, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, and you approach one over the others, your path is now going down her direction.

If you approach all of them [ideal ;-)], then you've just created 3 paths that you can go down, possibly all of them if you choose to.

However, if you approach none of them, then nothing is going to happen with any of them, and they'll be gone, possibly forever..

..for example, I've got a story to post on, from the gym, with HBPinkHat and especially HBMonicaBellucci - both were wide open for me, and I missed them both..and now have nothing to show for it.

Monica Bellucci, by the way:


At the same time, I have an update with HBBlackMILF, which was a matter of me pushing it and seeing how things unfold, down that path.

Remember, it's all..just..a game - so go play.

~h

The Phone Text: A Very Useful Tool of Game, Part 2

Another nice long, info-packed post from El Topo, on texting:


Text Game Part 2

So now we get how to open a text and one popular way to initiate a text dialog.
So let’s describe a few things around that.

I you haven't read Part 1 of the Text Post go here!
http://the-red-mole.blogspot.com/2008/0 … art-1.html

Also find out more about Subpersonalitites in Shaft's Post as well, cause I refer to the idea quite a bit.
http://the-red-mole.blogspot.com/2008/0 … ities.html

The reason why Hot Cold works so well, is because it is an element of Push Pull. I would like to do a post on changes made to models of game, but there are a lot of posts I would like to do…getting to it is the real feat! But surely I will get to it!

The reason why Push Pull is such an important part of game it because it is something that pretty much every human and animal is responsive to. It is almost like people can’t help but do it.
Now you can’t say something like ‘Hey, you sweet cunt whore, how’s your day going?’ that may piss some people off (but if you make it work…let me know). But what you want to do with each aspect of Hot Cold/Push Pull is get them to invest a little bit in it.

How we get people to invest is through Qualification, Baiting, Framing, Compliance, Dominance and Logistics.

So those are the things we are going to talk about in terms of text. And again, I would like to do a post on my teaching method of breaking down your Tools of Game along with How to Implement those Tools, but again it will probably be a few weeks on that. It I could write as fast as I could think then my blog would be a goddamn encyclopedia! Should have taken a typing class!

So the important thing with text to think of is that it is only a small part of game. So your goals in text are to do a few things.
I always like to Bring out-
-A Subpersonality in it, and it is great for that.
-It is a good use of to begin Force Framing
-It is a great Calibration Tool
-Logistically I want to engage someone with some compliance, usually accepting roles or doing small tasks.
-Build Investment emotionally (now it is important to know text probably isn’t the tool to engage serious emotions, but more reactive and surface level ones. You need an orchestration of complete game to have it effect deep rooted emotions)
-And Logistically I want to set up a time to meet, with all those frames and subpersonalities to bring to the table.

So with that in mind, instead of saying, ‘You sweet cunt whore, how is your day going?’
You want to say things that your texts to follow some sort of path that will stimulate reaction to role into another text that will build a frame, to role into another one that will build compliance to your frame, that will role into one that will bait them into a subpersonality and all be fun and exciting to engage in.

You can hook a girl very easily to be that guy that she has a text war with on a daily basis. During debriefing I always ask women when they started to know they were going to sleep with me. If I have worked them through text they will always say something like, ‘I thought you were cool when we met (she might even say a little weird…hahahaha), but I really started to think about you in that way, when I would be at work thinking about what I was going to text you or when you were going to text me’.
So go figure, but it works, and even with text you can see yourself get sucked in with it too! Beware!

Using Bait in Text-

Although this is how to Bait using text, all of the ideas like Push Pull/Hot Cold, Baiting, Qualifying, Framing, Compliance, Dominance, and Logistics all kind fo work together. But in their subcategories I will mainly be highlighting the part which it is titled. In this case Baiting.

So the idea of Bait is a reactive one. It is something that is hardwired; people can’t help but respond to if done correctly.

So let’s start with some examples-

Shortly after the first few texts, maybe the second or third one in…

-‘So I am sitting in a waiting room, and I wonder if the people around me know what I am thinking about’

-‘Guess what I am thinking of right now, I just totally saw your twin and it set me off.’

-‘OMG the craziest thing just happened, I am totally in a weird head space right now’

-‘Even tho you like X ;-), I still think you’re…well maybe not LOL’

-‘I am totally bored, don’t even TEMPT me with those thoughts! ☺’

-‘You have no what I just saw, you would totally LOVE it, in that sort of BAD girl sort of way…LOL!’

Ok so let’s take a look at these. Now some of them are doing a few things here.
The first one-
-‘So I am sitting in a waiting room, and I wonder if the people around me know what I am thinking about’
What you’re doing is trying to bait them into a simple question. One being, ‘where are you?’ or Two being, “What are you thinking about?’For a while Sinn, Shaft and myself would always ask two questions, or give two things to respond to in our texts to calibrate. We don’t so much anymore, but it is a great tool to use. Now with either answer you can go somewhere.
But the one that shows she is more likely to quickly accept a frame over text is if she answers anything about what you are thinking. Reason why is because if she answers that she is curious about something that leaves a huge door open to.
An office space is pretty mundane, what someone thinks that might offend the ‘norm’ hanging out in the office can be something pretty interesting, well if you’re a PUA.

So if she says ‘Where are you?’ no big deal, you text back something like,‘Trust me you don’t want to know, but these people are freaks! Totally your crowd ☺’
or
‘The funny thing is that, I am normally really into bizarro things, but I usually need a wing, next time I am bringing you! And you’ll never guess…’

So let’s take a look at a few more breakdowns…
-‘Guess what I am thinking of right now, I just totally saw your twin and it set me off.’
When I took my BC Sinn told me Future and him used the father text of this…’OMG I totally just saw your twin’ to calibrate how quickly a girl would reply. If she replied quick it meant you could begin with likely fruition on your text/phone journey.
So then we added a little more to it. Mainly because we wanted to see what she would reply too and our Bait was then more voiced to lead towards curiosity on what we are thinking. It may hook it may not. So in the first two texts a good thing to point out is asking two questions in the same text.
We will touch on that later.
But our Bait is always leading to a frame or subpersonality, or maybe even something else.

So it is best to get a response about ‘what you were thinking’ but you may get a response on the ‘twin’ part. The main thing is this will get a likely response. And you should probably use this text as a opener as well or the first text in a new exchange with someone you have been texting. It leads very well into some tactical conversations.

Replies to the twin part might be…
‘Yeah I was totally excited at first, but didn’t have that wicked side to here. LOL!’
‘And you should have SEEN the look on her face when I snuck up from behind, butt I think YOU could have handled it! HAHAHA!’

Replies to the thinking part might be…
‘All I got to say is….bad girl! LOL :-D!!!!’
‘I was actually REALLY disturbed! I knew I remembered you…stay HOTT!’

So you get the idea with that. This would go on forever if I were to breakdown all of them, so let’s go to the next Implementation of the Tool…

Qualification in Text-

This is one that you can open a text conversation with, but to really use qualification you want to use it a bit later in the exchange, but it can be fairly impactive within 2 or 3 texts in.
But first let’s talk about Qualification.
So Qualification is a get way to get a lot of things. Lot’s of people go on and on about it and it is something that many discussions can be had about it.
Most of those discussions show its use in gaining investment in the group.
There is a great Audio Program out there that has Sinn and Vision going over Qualification. Most people say it is one of the best Audio Products out there. It is something that has a long history and has evolved quite a bit.

But here are its uses-
-Gain Value and Compliance (throughout your set) towards Value. Build investment essentially, through a ladder of Qualifiers or establish your value, to make her feel the need to invest her Emotions or work up to your Value.
-Calibrate where you are at in set. So it was said many a times by Future in many Seminar rooms (probably many other people too, but I can still hear Future saying it in my head) ‘Qualification is the Gateway to Rapport. This is because is was a good way to know you could enter Comfort and also it was a good way to transition into a Comfort base story. The funny thing is that Qualification is now used in Comfort (little bit of a different twist, but definitely Qualification, and it is the total LMR buster in Seduction. Qualification is thee way to Blast through LMR and is one of the Roots to the KFP.
-And the most neglected use of Qualification is that is defines where you go next in Set!
It is what you need to show which way you are going, and in Text this is important!
What I mean is let’s say you are talking about eating Bats in the Amazon your DHV story (and let me tell you I can go on and on about how misused DHV stories are in the community), and you want to transition out of it.
You can Qualify with,‘So what is something you have done that made you know what your passions were?’
With that you can then talk about your passions and hers and all that stuff. Good for building bonds and many, many other things.

But let’s say instead you talk about eating Bats in the Amazon and transition out with…
‘So what’s the craziest thing you have ever done?’
No this can go a little more sexual… both can but with this you are using Bait to take the set somewhere into a more racy territory.

Both Qualifiers are good, neither one is better, depends on where you are in the set and where you want to go. And the Qualifier tells you where to go. That to me is a pretty important use to negate. So USE IT!

Some examples of text for qualification might be…

Opening Text with a Qualifier-

-‘So what is your favorite Karaoke song! ;-)’

-‘So wait, you always pick up guys, when they are DRUNK!’

Again opening with a qualifier is pretty weak use of a qualifier, but be creative and fun with it and it will work.


A few Texts in-
Think about if they fall into one of your Baiting texts you can empower it with your Qualifier.

-‘Jezz! You really do have a WILD side don’t you?’

-‘What kind of girl are you…really? I mean you didn’t really put that off when I met you, but go figure! LOL’

-‘So you are really starting to make me wonder, who taught you your text etiquette?’

-‘I am not sure if I really know about you yet… are you one of those girls that doesn’t always play nice…’
So you can see from this that the qualifiers really do have somewhat of a Baiting element to them too. They are also the beginnings to Frames, Compliance and bringing out that subpersonality.

Remember Qualification is a tool to progress on in the right direction!

And that will take us to….

Compliance through Text

Now here will probably be one of the more rich parts of the post, because it will map out how you need to text (the flow of text or the rhythm). Compliance does a few things…
But at its fundamental it brings out repetition in the target working in a certain direction.
Normally I bring up Framing before Compliance, but I will lead with compliance here to better describe Framing later.
Normally compliance is just thought of as getting a girl to do something for you. This alone is super effective. In fact I remember on a Workshop in Hawaii, Tyler Durden spent about 20mins describing to a student what Compliance was, and this opened my eyes to a larger field of it. Also Shaft can talk, and I mean talk about the importance of Compliance in all forms of Game.

But other than getting someone to do tasks, you can build a Qualification ladder with Compliance, you can build frames with Baiting someone by making them Compliant to your interaction with them, you can make someone fulfill a narrative that brings out a Subpersonality through Compliance. Basically you can use Compliance to get someone to follow your lead.
Compliance is the fucking shit, so see it as not just getting someone to fulfill actions, but also to be made to interact with you in a specific way that helps Frame them into your Subpersonality.

My example will be an exchange with breakdown of what I am attempting to do through Text. Here goes….

PUA- ‘You won’t believe what just happened! You should have BEEN HERE!’
Target- ‘?’
PUA- ‘Really that is ALL you can write ‘?’ I thought you spoke text…lol, are you sitting down?’
Target- ‘Yeah, I am at work, WHAT HAPPENED, is that better? ☺’
PUA- ‘This chick just totally went crazy at the store, I thought, I wish (target’s name) was here.’
Target- ‘I don’t know if I would have wanted too, what did she do?’
PUA- ‘Yeah, I am not sure if you would have laughed or joined in…’
Target- ‘That depends what it was she was doing’
PUA- ‘I still am not sure…either you’d be all over it or ur one of those PG 13 girls’
Target- ‘Wouldn’t you like to know?’
PUA- ‘That says it ALL right there! ;-)’
Target- ‘OMG, you are totally crazy… You might not want to know! :p’
PUA- ‘ME totally Crazy! F U!’
Target- ‘YES! And F U too ☺’
PUA- ‘That is sweet, but now you’re are totally making me wonder and now U won’t want to know… ’
Target ‘You couldn’t even imagine’
PUA- ‘Seriously, I have to drive now, so take it easy on me, you wouldn’t want to cause an accident now would you???’
Target- ‘Accident? That might be fun, good thing I am not there! Lol!’
PUA- ‘So now I am totally bored, entertain me… are you at work?’
Target- ‘Yes’
PUA- ‘And what are you doing?’
Target- ‘I am sitting at my desk answering my boss’ emails’
PUA- ‘Woman… really, I though you spoke text…how are you going to make me crash with THAT!’
Target- ‘HA! I thought I was PG 13’
PUA- ‘Ahh, we proved that you only are when you’re at the club, but at work I know what REALLY goes on!’
Target- ‘So dirty?’
PUA- ‘Actually it is one of the worst places that my mind wanders, just think if I was at work, my imagination would be corrupted even MORE by U! ’
Target- ‘You are a trip, I think you’re corrupting me!’
PUA- ‘Good cause later I may need your help, I have a crazy meeting I have to attend ☹…’
Target- ‘HA! We will see…’
PUA- Stop with that ‘we will see’ crap, you’re totally my text BITCH! Lol!’
Target- ‘Ahhh Text BITCH… couldn’t you come up with something else.’
PUA- ‘Yeah but, text me BACK….BITCH! by the way I am almost back and still no crash…’
Target- ‘CRASH BITCH!’
PUA- ‘You’re supposed to make me do that in another way…come on GET TO WORK!’
Target- ‘You’re too much. I can’t handle you…’
PUA- ‘That is what I thought! Lol. No really, what are you doing later, I will need someone to perk me up in a few hours.’
Target- ‘Why are you asking I thought I was your BITCH! Hahaha!’
PUA- ‘Jezz UR having way too much fun, maybe I should give you a whip so you can step it up’
Target- ‘I like whips’
PUA- ‘And I do too, but I don’t use them, I prefer using my hand!’
Target- ‘Now that depends, when and where…’
PUA- ‘Really, I think that you know WHEN and WHERE, unless you’re really more creative than me… and then I don’t want to know’
Target- ‘ That’s right BITCH!’
PUA- ‘Look woman, talk all you want, but I will turn you inside and out’
Target- ‘I am waiting…’
PUA- ‘And be waiting with a wheelchair cause you might need it’
Target- ‘LOL!’

Ok so this is a pretty common exchange.
No what you see in the first part of this, is a lot of baiting toward sex using really fun attitude. Text game is all Attraction being used as a door to open up different parts of her. This particular girl was not biting at first but still going along with it. This always suck, but if she is at least somewhat entertaining your ideas you can still press on very lightly. You always want her following your lead.
The whole time I am leading the interaction, and the whole time I am reframing her replies to what I want to see them as.
The more I can get her to follow my path of the narrative, the more I make her Compliant.
And the reason why I chose this exchange was because it took her a while to warm up and it was done without any breaks in the text, it all took place over one day.

So now I text saying, ‘BITCH I am bored TEXT BACK!’ and she does.You can also see the slow escalation of her turning more towards me. Eventually she does but it wasn’t immediate. The thing is that once they walk through enough of your doors (along with it being a fun interaction) they will ultimately continue on.
Compliance is something that can build your whole foundation to game.

For now that is all…

~h