Women's Signs and Signals That She's Into You --> IOIs

So here's the post I promised earlier.

Why is it that we receive an obvious social signal from a person we are clearly attracted to, only to find ourselves walking away from a golden opportunity?

Part of it is conditioning, and part of it is fear.

Fear, a most devastating force, trains us over time not to trust ourselves. If we did, we would know the door was wide open, and would walk up and start a conversation.

For example, there you are, walking down the street, and you lock eyes with an attractive woman. You both hold this stare for as long as you possibly can. Then you pass her, and after a few paces, glance back only to find she has done just the same thing. Your heart skips a beat, and you wonder, "Should I talk to her?"

If you are like most people, you keep walking, regretting that you didn't take the obvious opportunity to go for it.

Think about how many similar opportunities you have had, and with a simple change in your thought pattern, what kind of difference in your life would that mean?

I bet it's pretty big.

You know, like the old "Carpe Diem" mindset which so many of us never live up to.

If a girl gives you eye contact, and holds it for just a bit longer than is the custom, it means exactly what it means when you do the same thing - she feels that jolt of attraction. She sees you, and feels her chemistry change in that moment, just like yours did.

It is the magic of attraction - when you see each other, and something in you says "Yes".

What usually happens is that we pass these open doors all the time. Sometimes it is not feasible to approach the girl. We might have a meeting, or might be running late to work. There are many viable reasons not to stop and talk.

I think most of us intuitively know what this magic moment means, and we simply don't trust ourselves to go for it.

Nike said it best - Just Do It. Or my variation on this - fuck it, just do it.

Another sure signal she is definitely into you is if she smiles at you.

Sounds obvious - and it is obvious. But, I bet you've also let that opportunity pass you by, too, haven't you?

She wouldn't smile at you if she wasn't attracted to something about you. One of my friends, a pretty good-looking guy, gets smiles from women all day long..yet he thinks they are "just being nice".

In actuality, this is an opening to begin a conversation. It is a signal that her first impression of you is a good one, and that she would be interested in meeting you.

Also, if a woman is in your vicinity, and she opens her body language to you by facing you, this also is a good sign that she is open to meeting you. Like my short example relating to HBAlienFace in the previous post.

Imagine you are in a group of people, carrying on a conversation. When you speak, she faces you with her body. But, when someone else speaks, she turns her head to hear them, but her body still faces you. This indicates that she is more interested in talking with you than with anyone else in the group.

In the case of HBAlienFace, again for the sake of example, her conversation and my conversation weren't even the same one; we were in two different groups. Yet this was still happening, in exactly this way.

Also, pay attention to your body language in social situations. Again, I brought this point up in the previous post, when I mentioned that I was getting similar reactions from girls passing by me while I was on the phone with my girlfriend outside the gym.

Another situation is when you see someone that you find attractive, don't you subtly open your body to them? What we are doing is signaling the other person, subconsciously, that we are interested in having a conversation with them.

These subtle cues occur within social settings constantly. If you can recognize them, you will begin to see that women are communicating with men via their behavior and body language all the time. These are signs that, initially, she feels some attraction for you. By noticing these, you will feel a greater amount of confidence when making your introductions later.

One last point on these initial signs: if you notice a woman, and she does not signal you in any of the above ways, it might simply mean that she is preoccupied or that she simply hasn't noticed you..YET. In any event, go ahead and make your approach, what do you have to lose? There are no hard and fast rules here; that would be way too easy, and therefore, unrealistic.

"Fuck it, just do it" anyway.

With some good conversational skills and a solid personal style, your first impression will be great anyway. Your chances are then very good for entering into a positive interaction with the woman you have approached.

By the way, here is a list of twenty-five common IOIs, ways that women signal initial interest to us:

1) Repeatedly glances at you from across the room
2) Walks by your location, going out of her way to be noticed by you
3) Smiles at you
4) Positions herself so that her body is open to you, wanting you to see her
5) In a tight environment [examples: by the bar or in line or on the subway] will subtly, and purposely, bump you to get your attention and prompt an "excuse me"
6) Stands close to you, subtly encroaching on your personal space
7) Repeats herself, and talks about boring things to keep the conversation going
8) Asks you personal questions
9) Ignores her friends or cellphone to keep talking with you
10) Touches you in any way while speaking with you
11) Compliments you
12) Talks about you in any way to other people
13) Introduces you to her friends
14) Flirts with you
15) She asks you your name early in the conversation
16) Brags about something in her life, trying to impress you - her attempt at a DHV
17) Laughs at things you say
18) Talks for a longer than normal amount of time
19) She fills in awkward pauses
20) She agrees to spend time alone with you, even a small side conversation at a party, bar, or other social setting
21) Asks if you are single
22) Fixes her hair, clothes, makeup, etc
23) Plays with her hair while talking with you
24) Agrees with everything you say
25) Has that "doggy dinner bowl" look: her eyes glaze over and her lower lip pouts [this one's a biggie!]

You don't have to witness all of these to know if she is into you or not; as few as one or two may be all you get.

But, that is plenty..trust me ;-)

~h

Busy Days

Yesterday, I had quite an unexpectedly productive day, both academically and socially.

I went to class, and made it through, wide-awake and active.

During, and especially after class all the way through the night, I was off-handedly gaming girls that I'd run into.

HBAmazon is almost ready to be approached, with intent - she now actively seeks me out and makes sure to at least say hi, a great improvement over her looking-from-the-corners-of-her-eyes, half-smile, nervous look-away greetings from earlier in the term. And I always make sure to smile at her, no matter what, so she's not initimidated - funny how a little thing like that, from me especially, can make such a major difference.

I got texted by a few of my girls, varying from "Hey hrithik waz up. Just saying hi, etc" to "so wen am i gonna wrap my lips around dat big cock of urz?"

[I made some good head-way with HBKraaazyBody Monday after my exam, when I sent out a mass text to some of the girls: "Mannn i had this test 2day, totally sucked..wen i was done w it, u popped in2 my head - n stayed 4 a good bit.. does that sound lame? U suck", and it had great response with most of them, especially HBKraaazyBody, who revealed her stance with me :-)

I also caught HBAlienFace staring at me, every time I've seen her around campus, even to the point where she'll be talking with someone but her body language'll give her thought away to me, i.e. feet pointing towards me, upper body facing me, and/or more blatant things like her eyes fixed on me while she talks to someone else..but I don't know if she just sucks at trying to flirt, because obviously she's interested, but the last interaction we had, some semesters back, was kind of awkward, where I think she was trying to play-argue with me, but it was about something kind of lame, so it didn't work and made me feel like "umm..okay..", and then I never really spoke to her again..we'll see if I choose to change that]

I went to the gym later in the evening, and HBGottaBeMixed found me a couple times while I was on the phone with my girlfriend, telling me she'd be right back once I was off. And a few other girls whom I don't even remember now, similar [re]actions. Obviously there was something that was causing each of these girls to behave similarly.

So I made sure to pay attention to what was going on - I saw my reflection and noted my body language, and I also listened to myself interacting with my girlfriend on the phone, as well as making sure to keep a smile on my face so that the interaction didn't seem serious or anything.

After the gym, I was heading back to the P.I.M.P. pad, when I noticed this tall, cute Indian chick, with a nice breasts and curvy ass, speed-walking from behind me, almost as though she was trying to catch up to me; she'd been riding the bike next to me earlier, and I'd caught her glimpsing my way a number of times. For a few seconds, I was distracted, seeing that ass in high-powered motion, but I snapped out of it and started talking with her. She removed her headphones almost immediately [IOI] even though she could hear me. I made a few jokes [A2], then back-handed slapping her shoulder [light kino initiation], teased her [more A2], then a quick bit about us having to impress our Indian parents [A3/C1], all the while I'm making sure to smile and she's laughing and responding very well. Next time I see her at the gym, or around campus, I'll take things a bit further.

I drank a protein shake and then went to Subway, and there, everyone was watching me. Including one of the girls working there, who was the first girl I'd been completely infatuated with when I'd come down here for the first time. At the time, I'd gotten to be pretty cool with her, even #-closed her, but she had seemed kind of stand-offish, which I'd since then attributed to the defensive nature some local girls tend to get around me since I'm not from here - they worry that I will simply use them and then leave them. Back then, however, not only did I not know this, I didn't know how to handle it, either. Or maybe she had a boyfriend and began to feel guilty after she gave me her number. Regardless, as far as I was concerned, she was "a bitch".

And now here she was again, and this time she was talking about me and even tried to initiate conversation with me a couple of times. And I simply blew her off - guess I still had some hurt feeling from way back then, huh? Then I proceeded to make her feel awkward as I didn't even acknowledge her trying to talk to me. And then I just stared at her retarrrrdedly huge ass - seriously, it's got to be 50"+.

In retrospect, this was quite immature of me, but she does not know that I did it on purpose, because I had my headphones blasting music, even though they weren't on my ears, she still doesn't know whether I could hear or not. So I will see about maybe trying to make something happen with her the next time I go there.

The bus driver that picks me up to bring me back to my place is an old friend of mine whom I hadn't seen for..maybe almost a year now, come to think of it. It was real cool catching up with him, albeit briefly, just to see what he's been up to and how things are with me.

Then about 10:30pm, HBBlondeBlackModel calls me, from her chef-in-training job. That I think made my night, because she'd called me last Friday and had woken me up, I'd texted her a couple times since then but had gotten no response, and now here she was, secretly calling me from work. And she reaffirmed exactly what I thought was happening: she was still mad busy with interviews and photo shoots, etc, from her modeling competition in Barbados last weekend, and then working afternoons/nights, leaving her no spare time to be able to hit me back.

She told me real quick about that stuff, then asked me about my trip [I don't remember what trip she's talking about..Disney, I guess??], which I told her was a lonnng story, and would have to wait, and she agreed that we'd better wait until we're in person then. And she kept asking about me and the things I've been up to [IOIs], which I didn't realize but it was quite a bit once I started talking - the Indian cultural show performance and how awesome that was, then the after-party/ies me and my friends hit up, then my galfriend's birthday party when we hit up the new legit club in town, and then studying for that test this past Monday..of course, I made sure to lace all these stories with DHVs and other attraction spikes, to remind her of why she thinks I'm so awesome :-)

We probably talked a good 20 minutes or so before she had to go, and it was definitely a good conversation. Especially since she suggested herself, that she'd hit me up in a couple days and we could see what's up with the weekend..which I played off at first like "ummmmm..hmm..okay, yea, that should be alright.." [non-neediness].

All of this stuff happening, especially within 1 day [and a few things that happened today, going along with this..just different girls, like HBTriniMed for example], got me thinking about the signals that women send out to let guys know that they are feeling you. I'll post more about this later tonight.

~h

Hmm..I Need to Sleep More: My Body = a Teenager's

I've realized [yet again] that I need much more sleep than I'm getting, especially these days, especially because of that big quiz on Monday [that weekend, I definitely lost more sleep than usual] - I literally was thiiiis close to falling asleep when I was on the phone with my gf last night..and obviously I didn't finish my post, so here's the rest of it:

HBAlienFace simply could not stop watching me. The thing with her is, I can't "figure out" if she wants me to game her. Here's why I say this: obviously, she wants me - who doesn't want Hrithik?? And more objectively, there've been many signs of passive [and some direct] IOIs from her to me, as well as AIs. But, she's playing the whole "too-cool" role, I guess as a means to protect her own ego..?? Since every time I don't open/game her, she's feeling a little rejected [due to me "rejecting" her AIs and the acknowledgement of her IOIs]. Oh, well, make a note of it and move on [because nothing of any real significance happened]..

After a bit longer, the bus arrives, and I get on. I look around and scope the bus: some chick in the front, a cute Indian-Caribbean girl [I can just know she's Caribbean] who's on the her cell phone, and some random dude in the very back. About a minute after I've sat down [the row in front of the Indian-Caribbean girl, henceforth HBIndian-Caribbean], I'm off the phone with my gf and look back - HBI-C is looking at me, so I smile..she looks away, then begins to turn back [realizing that yes, I did catch her looking at me, but I smiled at her instead of blowing her off]. So, I'm sitting there, just chilling, and I realize that she's off the phone, too. I think of whether I even want to open her, and I realize that she's saying something..to me..oops! So, I make her say it a couple more times, to make her really earn my attention [and see how much effort she's willing to put into opening me], and she really earns it: by the 3rd time, she's leaning across her 2-seat spot, her neck and head twisted around the back of the seat next to me, and her hand reaching out in an effort to catch my eye..I think 'she passed', and turn around.

h - {looking at her like "..yes..?"}
HBI-C - "I just wanted to tell you that I really like your ring.."
h - {No, you don't, trick - it's because you're attracted to me!} "Oh..?"
HBI-C - "Yeah, I really like it..I like the design..those kinds of designs.."

..and the game has begun..this is like what Mystery always says, "Wear at least 1 interesting item, so that a girl can approach/comment on it" [check out The Mystery Method for more free thoughts and ideas like this]. Now, what's interesting here is, I think a large part of this had to with the fact that I flashed my pearly-whites to her, even for a split second, thus allowing her to open me - an AI from me to her. I think, especially for me [since I am, in fact, a really good-looking guy], I need to make sure to do this more often, as it helps in decreasing some of the intimidation that is automatically created by my physical features.

Well, I used this oppurtinty of her needing to tell me so badly that she likes me ring[s] to hop into the seat behind mine, so that we're sitting in the same row [but separated by the aisle]. Since I'm not all that interested with how things go, I decide to use this as as opportunity to just mess around and see how things flow:

h - "So .. blahblah .."
HBI-C - {smile} "Blahblahblah"
h - "Cool.." {turn away} [for the hell of it]
HBI-C - {struggling to think of something to keep convo going}
..
HBI-C - "So..blahblahblah.."
h - "blahblah" [IOI for re-initiating]
HBI-C - ".."
h - {turn away} [IOD for not being interesting enough]

..and this goes on for a few minutes. Another crazy thing that happens is, she apparently realizes that my local "gf" has talked to her about me [this whole "local "gf" " thing needs like 923087643 posts dedicated to it, but since that's not going to happen, I might throw up a couple dealing with all that, whenever the mood strikes me]. So anyways, at this point, I'm thinking 'shit..' but play it cool, and I think I managed to work it..and definitely find out how the fuck they know each other! And as I suspected, it was just one of those 'my luck sucks..' kinds of deals: they just happen to be friends by running into each other on campus when she'd first started school here this August..of course..

I game her some more, not so much verbally [most of it was random talk], but definitely non-verbal shit, like hardcore kinoescalation [time-wise, since I was on a limit before my stop arrived at my stop], and more situation-specific things like just crossing the aisle and sitting in the seat next to her when I couldn't hear her a few times, so that we were sitting together..to let her know that I care about what she's saying and am interested enough to want to hear more, despite the fact that verbally, I didn't say a word, much less anything suggesting the significance of my actions.

So, after only a few minutes, she's telling me how she wants to meet people, and how that's something she's been thinking about a lot lately because she doesn't seem to know anyone and would like to make some friends, get to know more people, etc .. and she can hardly look me in my eyes, except at important times, such as "meet" and "don't know anyone" and "make some friends..and stuff"..this one was an easy #-close, and honestly, if I hadn't been so tired, I know I could've even had her get off the bus with me at my stop and pulled her back to my place..nice..and to think, I not only couldn't even decide whether I wanted to open her, but I didn't open her, and yet she would've been an easy pull..haa

As Craig [from DYD] says, "It's always on!"

~h

Wow! Where Do I Begin..?

Well, as I'm writing this, my head is killing me! Bear that in mind as we continue, as this post may be affected..

I had my major quiz yesterday..I'm not too sure how I feel about it at this point, though, because they haven't even posted up the answer key yet! What is the point of us copying down our answers to compare to the answer key, when there..is..no..answer key..?? Anyways..

I think Anatomy, I pretty much killed it - I seem to know my shit [for the time being] and managed to pay attention to the questions as well as the answers, and also to focus on thinking things through and rationalizing out my answers so as to prevent any stupid errors..hopefully, I'll be proven right real soon..

Biochem..yeaaah..there were too many things on there that could've simply gone either way..so I guess that one is also a wait-and-see game, but one that has much more weight to it [with Anatomy, unless I completely screwed up a lot of things without realizing it, I shouldn't have gotten anything lower than a B, for sure]. It does give me an idea, though, of how detailed I need to know things for the subsequent test..

Histo....it was basically a straight-up vocab test [like the ones from back in the day..?], and at least it'll just go to show how I can be better prepared for the actual mid-term..that, and I keep forgetting to get the "cheats" from the other students that have a question-bank in it as well as a program with all the slides that on which we can/will be tested, right on there in one easy-to-find place..

So, today, I had to be in a lab by 8:30am, until ~12pm - sweet! Well, as it turns out, I had a huge thing [read as: fight] about nothing with my gf last night, so I didn't end up going to bed until about 3:45am..and that's with already having had a near-sleepless Saturday night [8am-10am] and another lack-of-sleep night Friday night [4 hours total]. And at this point of the day, I am dying - my eyes are not able to stay open to save my life [although, medically speaking, if a person were ever in a life-or-death situation, his/her eyes would be wide open: this is due to the eye trying to get in as much of the visual sensation possible so as to allow the brain to make the best decision, and especially your sympathetic innervation of the muscles controlling your pupils - they would actually cause the pupil to dilate - yeah, med school!].

Oh, and of course, the girl-talk for the evening: I was on the phone with my gf after getting out of this academic-supplemental meeting, and there were a few people at the bus stop, including this one girl who I find to be pretty damn cute! She has this like look to her, kind of like..an alien?? Haha, I love it, I'm going with it..HBAlienFace! I don't know, but she's fucking cute, and she's got nice thick legs and a pretty sweet ass [nothing spectacular, unfortunately - strange since she's got the black gene]..anyways, she just could not stop watc

~h