Example of a Comfort-Building Routine

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=The Fork In The Road Routine=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"This exercise is built to help you solve a problem in your life. Ask yourself what current challenge is on your mind. What are you personally craving that you do not have? Once you have identified this thing, you are ready to begin..

Start with a very deep inhale and then exhale so that every last drop of breath is out of your lungs and you naturally take another deep breath in. Repeat this deep breathing four more times, and as you do feel your pulse slowing down and your muscles becoming more relaxed..

Imagine yourself walking down a road. You come to an intersection where the road splits into two possible paths.

Now recall specific memories from your past where you were held back from happiness because of your problem. Let yourself feel all the negativity it caused. As you access these memories, pay close attention to the areas of your body that were affected. Did any muscles tense back up? Has your breathing or pulse increased?

These physical changes are the manifestation of the negativity your problem brings. Picture all of that negativity flowing out of your body and onto the first path. As it all leaves your body, once again relax your muscles and slow your breath.

Now picture one possible future that would exist after your challenge has been overcome and your cravings have been met. Without your problem holding you back, you have gotten everything you desired. Imagine as vividly as possible what your life is like now. What does it look like? What sounds are in the air? Concentrate on what you hear, taste, and smell. Take all of these wonderful feelings, and assign them to the second path.

So far this exercise has only been about picturing things and imaging them, but you are going to actually solve this problem in real life. To help you do so, first you must create a roadblock to keep you from continuing down the first path..

For example, there may be something you in your life need to get rid of in order to keep yourself off that path. It could be an item that feeds your problem, or maybe even a person who is a bad influence. Do what you have to do to make sure you don't travel in that direction. This isn't something you should decide on later. You must set this roadblock up immediately before any further damage is done.

For the final and most important step, you must give yourself the perfect vehicle to travel down the second path. Overcoming this challenge is important, so why not have every advantage in the world? Are there some new people you can surround yourself with that could serve as this vehicle? Is there some item or tool that will serve your purposes? Don't put this off for one second. Take the first steps you need towards securing your vehicle right now. Keep in mind that those paths you pictured don't just exist in the imagination. By taking action with your roadblock and vehicle, your real-world future will be the one of the second path.."

That's the routine.

Now that you are at the end of the routine, you will want to calibrate. Usually because it was such a long and serious moment, you are going to want to end on a joke to break that tension. Put your hand out, and with a big smile on your face say, "That will be $20 please." Then have a quick laugh before moving onto the next conversational thread.

One possible such thread could be to talk about what her problem was, along with what roadblocks and vehicles she came up with. If she is willing to share all, it is a good sign that a lot of trust and comfort has been, and is being, built. Remember, however, that when she opens up, you should reciprocate and let her know the same type of information about yourself.

All of this will also help frame the interaction at this point with a lot of comfort, and it will help associate you with the good feelings and the overcoming-of-negativity stuff, further framing you as being a sort of powerful yet understanding confidant and protector of hers who is there for her when she is going through difficult times, which in turn will build more comfort, and even some attraction [remember, Protector of Loved Ones?].

Of course, this routine won't zap her with some sort of magical love spell, but if you end up doing the exercise, the joke, and the follow-up conversation..that will be quite the bonding experience.

~h