The Lost Art of Flirting: Go After the Girl, and Attract Her to Get Her Chasing You

Flirting - we were all masters in nursery school. But as we grow older, we lose our artistic flirting perfection. For a moment, let's look back: let's remember flirting in its most basic form.

You may recall being in nursery school or middle school and playing games, like "boys vs. girls".

That was the game where you ran around after girls trying to "get" them, and then they tried to "get" you; meanwhile, both pretended they didn't like the opposite sex. It was a game of popularity, stamina, and confusion that involved a lot of running around.

This game is flirting at its most basic and instinctual level.

In all honesty, flirting now isn't much different than it was then, in nursery school: you tease a girl to get her to chase you, then you chase after her, then you switch back and repeat over and over.

As long as you don't lose the momentum of the game, eventually she will want to be your girlfriend.

Realize that there is no secret number of games, negs/pebbles, hoops, tests, or DHVs to make love happen.

In fact, these things are just names for the little pieces of the overall process of flirting, which loop on and on until you have intense attraction. Let's take a look at how each of these common terms fit into the "boys vs. girls" analogy as well as the overall dating game:

Push/pull: The idea of flirting; a tit for a tat; the concept of "boys vs. girls"

Disqualifier: Teasing [pushing/shoving away, or making them run after you - this is the whole "bet you can't catch me!" part of the "boys vs. girls" game]

Negs/Pebbles: Another form of teasing

Qualifier: Complimenting [pulling, or slowing down so they can catch you - because if they never caught you, it wouldn't be much fun to play]

DHV: Showing that you are cool through actions, words, or presence; this is done at any time, but is especially important early on [you have to be worth running after]

Test: A trap she has set up to prevent you from catching her; this must be handled/answered correctly, or you are thrown out of the attraction loop

Hoop: A type of trap you need to avoid

If you use these this information to play the game correctly, you will enter a loop of pushing and pulling. This is in essence a flirting loop, and it creates intense attraction. As you continue the loop, it gets heated up; when the loop is hot enough, you have to pull the trigger and take your interaction to the next level.

Here's to helping to connect the pieces of the puzzle so that we can all see the big picture easier than those who came before us. Good luck, and see you in the field.

~h